Saturday, 13 February 2016

The Soundcloud Zone

F*ck the entire KanYesplaining think-piece industry and f*ck rap today. Hit it, Bernie...

Mr Fingers - Qwazars
(From Mr Fingers 2016 EP; 2016)



This is not a new world, it's simply an extension of what began in the old one when Larry Heard's 5 fingers of depth imprinted themselves over the top of rickety old Barry Manilow 12" singles. Just when mankind had made space on the dancefloor to shuffle it's back to firing shuttles into deep space and House Every Wormhole.

Spice - Born Wid It
(From Seanizzle's 90's Don Dada Riddim; 2016)



From the sensual to the sexual, Uranus to ur anus, we travel back from deep space into deep punani. Location: a throwback riddim in Jamaica. Mission: to find a needle eye in a haystack. Enter Grace Hamilton - Earth's missing link between Shabba Ranks and Razzle Romps.

Thursday, 11 February 2016

Hat tip to Drake

It's not a proper year in rap if someone doesn't beatjack Boyz-n-the-Hood; Trina held down 2015 with F*ck Boy, and Boone's Pop A Perc has 2016 in the bag already even though it technically dates back to late november. File this under ‘songs that can only be remixed by Jackie Chain or Ezale’:

Boone - Pop A Perc
(From YouTube; 2015)


Pop A Perc as translated into image form:



*Kayslay voice* ONLY A PHILLY RAPPER COULDA DONE THIS, YO!

Tuesday, 9 February 2016

Tonite's probably not the night


It ain't that I'm impatient, it just seems a trifle unfair that you Atlanta rap stans can get mixtapes from Future and Young Thug every other month, but us Oakland rap mavens can't even get Ezale's Day Ones song five months after he first posted a snippet of it on Twitter. How's Ezale #GoneBringThisTownShitBack when he's becoming the Jay Electronica of Oakland in terms of productivity as a recording artist?

A lil' detective work reveals Day Ones is a World's Freshest production and it's set to appear on a Tonite Show album Ezale & DJ Fresh are set to drop late february/early march. Potentially, this could be the best Tonite Show since DJ Fresh teamed up with Mozzy in 2013, but as exciting as that notion is I'd settle for Day Ones dropping tonight instead because I ain't heard a new rap song I've really liked since Hard For by Kevin Gates.

Monday, 8 February 2016

Gleaming The Wave


If you're out here tryna experience maximum Waviness after recent events, here's the CDQ MP3 of Max B's grandiose debut single, as ripped from the promo CD. Uploaded the instrumental too so we can all marvel at how Arkatech Beatz flipped that sample from Pleasure's Farewell, Goodbye. 274 lbs? Baby that ain't piff! Why You Do That in 360 kbps? Baby, that's the shit!

Sunday, 7 February 2016

Generic list post: great songs on rap albums that are far from great 2

In lieu of the last post being about Jeezy's That's What's Up and Gucci Mane's Muscles N My Hand, here's a sequel to the great songs from not-so-great albums generic list. Not sayin' all the albums these songs hail from are entirely worthless per se, more that these songs shine like the proverbial sun, moon & stars on those mediocre albums they call home.

Newcleus - Programmed 4 L.O.V.E (2009)
Yo Gotti ft. Stuey Rock - Single (2012)
L.A's Own Billy The Kidd AKA Defari - Say It Twice (2000)
Davy D - Have You Seen Davy? (1987)
G-Eazy ft. Starrah - Order More (2015)
Beanie Sigel & Freeway ft. State Property - Live In Effect (2010)
Yukmouth ft. Sauce & Mac Dre - Get Stupid, Go Dumb (2004)
Nice & Smooth - Lockdown (1997)
The Game ft. 2 Chainz & Rick Ross - Ali Bomaye (2012)
Laroo & The Jacka ft. Matt Blaque - Dip W/U (2009)
Group Home - Stupid Muthafuckas (1999)
Kokane ft. Too $hort - Rhyme Slow (1999)
Curren$y ft. August Alsina & Lil' Wayne - Bottom Of The Bottle (2015)
The New Style - Scuffin' Those Knees (1989)
Lil' Tip, Shorty K, Lil' J & Crooked I - Ashes To Ashes (1998)
Big Sean - Paradise (Extended) (2015)
Cocoa Brovaz - Tools Of The Trade (2002)
Bubba Sparxxx ft. Killer Mike & Cool Breeze - Claremont Lounge (2006)
Azealia Banks - Miss Amor (2014)

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Rap songs that aren't on YouTube but really should be # 16

Last time I checked I was a stan for Jeezy's pre-fame equivalent of Gucci Mane's Muscles N My Hand where he zinged real hip hopper's hoopties over the top of a synthetic-substitution of Pumpkin's drums from Spoonie Gee's Love Rap. What a pity no one else seems to be given the song's conspicuous absence from YouTube.

Young Jeezy ft. Mykel - That's What's Up
(From Come Shop With Me double album; 2003)


Mykel's hook on That's What's Up was so impeccable, Mac Dre may have liberally nicked it a year later. Is it within the realms of possibility that Dre could have heard an early Jeezy deep cut or is it simply a case of great minds tap into the same ripple of cosmic unconsciousness? "I guess we got the same dreams or is it the same nightmares" 4 real?

Monday, 1 February 2016

Late pass!

Ever since he dropped Rollin' in 2008, Jackie Chain has popped back up once a year like the McRib with another legitimate jam. Make Me Go Off was 2015's entry into this ongoing canon which continued after Rollin' with Diamonds & Cadillacs in 2009, Livin' It Up in 2010, a tie between Molly + Parked Outside in 2011, So Throwed in 2012, Trippin' in 2013, and Party Girls in 2014, though Make Me Go Off is more like a prelude to a single than a single in its own right. Obviously the single would be an ode to MDMA & whores over OMC's How Bizarre.

Jackie Chain - Make Me Go Off
(From YouTube; 2015)


On the real, Jackie could probably clear a How Bizarre sample on the cheap now the Maori bloke from OMC is dead, and Jackie's track could even interpolate the dead Maori bloke's "jumped into the Chevy, headin' for big lights/wanna know the rest? Hey, buy the rights!" punchline from How Bizarre into a hook. Yo son, I had crazy visions, BOOM:

"Pills to the left of me, powder to the right
Wanna know the rest? Hey, buy the rights!
Party nights... party nights

Stripper on my lap, thighs spread left and right
Wanna know the rest? Hey, buy the rights!
Party nights... party nights"

I gave this idea wings, only Jackie can make it fly.

Saturday, 30 January 2016

Generic list post: january 2016

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when rap went from Invasion Of The Flat Booty Bitches to Invasion Of The Flat-Earth Truthers.

Had fun posting about everything from Grand Puba deep cuts to U.K handbag-house classix to David Bowie giving his blessing to Suga Free's most hateful song to Only Fools & Horses back tattoos to the best slaps of the past half-decade this month. Had WAY more fun away from t'internet blastin' these songs, though. Hat tip to RMH for the BallGreezy track - who'd a thunk Waviness woulda been splashin' up on the Miami strip club circuit back in 2007?

Melle Mel - Westwood freestyle (1994)
BallGreezy - Shone (2007)
AV LMKR - Money Dance (2015)
Lil' Yase & Yatta - Get It In (2015)
Nef The Pharaoh - No Masturbation (2015)
Nef The Pharaoh ft. Philthy Rich - #Saydaat (2016)
Ka - Delaney Card (2016)
Boosie - Forgive Me Being Lost (2016)
Boosie - Smile To Keep From Crying (2016)
HotStylz - TONIK (The Only N*gga I Know) (2016)
Colonel Loud ft. Too $hort, Snoop & Ricco Barrino - California (remix) (2016)
Jacquees - Know You (2016)
Dami Bones ft. Kamo, Prince & Notch - Da Beat (2015)
Kwamz & Flava - Take Over (2016)
Popcaan - Wicked Man Thing (2015)
Popcaan - Tight Pussy Wine (2016)
Spice - Sight & Wine (2016)

Other notables: also really dug Devils Team by Nef & The Pharaoh & Mozzy; woulda dug Mozzy's Be Here if it weren't for the cack hook which sounds like it's been copy & pasted in from another song entirely; ditto Candy Red by Slim 400 et al; waitin' to dig Ezale's Day One but it still only exists as an Instagram snippet.

Friday, 29 January 2016

British man posts songs from Soundcloud

Lil' Yase - Gigalo
(From Soundcloud; 2015)


First time I listened to Lil' Yase's Gigalo I was like "yo, why is the Get It In guy makin' this ironic Wavery-core fuckery?" Second time I listened to Gigalo I was like "oh, this kinda sounds like DB Tha General if he'd signed to Thizz Entertainment and taken advantage of the copious amounts of MDMA the label was trafficking, though." Third time I listened to Gigalo I was like "whoa, THIZZZZZZZZZ IS IT!"

Dami Bones ft. Kamo, Prince & Notch - Da Beat
(From Soundcloud; 2015)


First time I listened to Da Beat by Dami Bones featuring Kamo, Prince & Notch I was like "yo, is this a new Kwamz & Flava tune I'm hearing on Capital XTRA?" Second time I listened to Da Beat I was like "oh, it's some other brehs also infusing U.K pop-rap with Afto-beats." Third time I listened to Da Beat I was like "whoa, the U.K/African crossover continuum hasn't produced anything this downright sensual since the days of Soul II Soul!"

Wednesday, 27 January 2016

I'm on the phone talkin' like it's just you & me

LOL how's Max B sang-rapping over the phone from prison on top of a Dilla instrumental still better than 90% of N.Y rap made during the past half decade? Dame Grease initially released this track as Max's official response to KanYe West calling his new album Waves, but later admitted it's just an older recording he's had in the stash for a while. Regardless, if the Yeezy Boost fits, wear that shit:

Max B - My Wave (Message For KanYe West)
(From Dame Grease's Audiomack; 2016)


Riddle me this, folks: how come Di World Boss Vybz Kartel can record new music from his prison cell in Jamaica, yet the Boss Don Max Biggavelz can only record over the phone from prison in AmeriKKKa? Addi certainly ain't innocent, but Charly plausibly could be given the circumstantial evidence. Give that man a laptop with Pro Tools already, Bergen County!

Tuesday, 26 January 2016

If I sin God forgive me but my baby need Pampers

"Mama strugglin', Grannie watch us, gangsta patnas, oh my
Can't afford it so we stole it, we was roaches, no lie
Saw my first body dead in the street at 8, oh my
Lil' Glenn just blew his brains out with his own fo' five"


Boosie - Forgive Me Being Lost
(From In My Feelings (Goin' Thru It) album; 2016)


The other Boosie song I really really really fuxwit from his latest album now has a video too. Much like Howlin' Wolf asked for water and then got gasoline, Boosie asked for money to buy nappies but life just gave him more shit instead.

Monday, 25 January 2016

Boycie Da 5'9


This is like when wotshisface from Prison Break had that all-over tattoo done, but instead of it being a map of a secrete escape route outta the bing, this tattoo contains the answer to that immortal question: why did Trigger call Rodney Dave?

Never forget the Ruthless Records/Only Fools And Horses analogue me & Bradley came up with back in 2013.

Sunday, 24 January 2016

Generic list post: the slap files (2010 - 2015)


Catch ya boy Foxx Mulduh hibernatin' like Eugene Tooms this afternoon, feasting on the slaps of NorCal rappers rather than the livers of dead humans. Decided to turn my contentment into #content with a generic list post of the 50 best northern California slaps made during the past 5 years as decided by a complete outsider to California Livin'. You don't like 'em? Respectfully kiss my arse 'til your lips bleed. Alternatively, drop them glaring omissions in the comments.

Too $hort - Bitch I'm A Pimp (2010)
E-40 ft. B-Legit - 43 (2012)
Droop-E ft. Nite Jewel & J. Stalin - 'N The Traffic (2013)
Cousin Fik - Knocka N*gga Down (2012)
22nd Letter - Blunt On Me (2015)
Clyde Carson ft. The Team - Slow Down (2012)
Ezale - Foreal Foreal (2013)
Dru Down ft. The Jacka - Hello Hello Hello (2012)
The Jacka ft. Dru Down & Joe Blow - The President's Face (2014)
Berner & The Jacka ft. Rydah J. Clyde - One Sound (2015)
Husalah - Da Mob (2011)
Mob Figaz - Loyal To The Mob (2011)
Joe Blow - The Dopest (2012)
Dubb 20 ft. Husalah - Been A While (2012)
NhT Boyz - Slidin' (2010)
A-Wax & Gonzoe ft. C-Murder - Natural Disasterz (2010)
A-Wax - Trainwreck (2014)
Bobby Brackins - Jon And Kate Plus 8 (2010)
Messy Marv - Real N*gga (2011)
HD of Bearfaced - 40 Glock USA (remix) (2012)
Young L - Young L-E-N (2010)
Lil B - Look Like Jesus (2010)
J. Stalin ft. The Jacka - Red & Blue Lights (2010)
Lil' Blood ft. J. Stalin - Sell My Coke (2010)
Philthy Rich ft. D-Lo & Stevie Joe - Ready To Ride (2010)
Beeda Weeda - Baserock Babies (2010)
Eddi Projex ft. Beeda Weeda - Gettin' G's (2010)
Kreayshawn - Gucci Gucci (2011)
Lil' Debbie - I Do My Thang (2014)
Keak Da Sneak - Maxi Pads (2010)
HBK Gang - She Ready (2010)
IamSu - Don't Matter (2011)
Sage The Gemini - Don't You (2013)
Show Banga ft. Sage The Gemini - I Been That (2014)
D-Mac ft. Sage The Gemini & Show Banga - Panoramic (2013)
Jay Ant - Ask Y.B (2014)
DB Tha General - Upgrade 'Em 2 (2011)
DJ Upgrade ft. Rico Tha Kidd - Hey Girl (2013)
Roach Gigz ft. Kreayshawn - Pussy Magnet (2013)
Young Lox - Legion Of Doom (2014)
D-Lo - Choppa Dance (2013)
Andre Nickatina ft. The Jacka - Square Crows (2011)
Mozzy - Wet Woozy Wop Em and Wolly (2013)
Nef The Pharaoh - Big Tymin' (2015)
Corn ft. Nef The Pharaoh - Old School Hyphy (2015)
The 99 Percent - Shabooyah! (2014)
Thug Lordz ft. Tha Realest - Mean Muggin' (2010)
Baby Bash ft. Baeza & G. Curtis - Certified Freak (2014)
Kamaiyah ft. Zay M - Out The Bottle (2015)
Lil' Yase & Yatta - Get It In (2015)

Ain't even worth anyone compiling this into a Spotify playlist since you can't find Foreal Foreal, Knocka N*gga Down, Blunt On Me, Baserock Babies, 40 Glock USA (remix). Young L-E-N, Look Like Jesus, Jon And Kate Plus 8 or Out The Bottle on there, and this list would be woefully incomplete without their presence.

Friday, 22 January 2016

Go to Hell and be a felon before I snitch and go to Heaven


Nef The Pharaoh ft. Mozzy - Devils Team
(From Nef The Pharaoh & Cardo's Neffy Got Wings mixtape; 2016)


How ironic that the most Kush & OJ-soundin' ass song on Nef The Pharaoh & Cardo's collaboration mixtape should by the one featuring mainey Mozzy, huh? Typically, the highlights of Neffy Got Wings are the previously released #Saaydatt and Michael Jackson, but combine Devils Team here with those 2 jams you've got yourself a nice little imaginary maxi-cassette single. If anyone professionally reviewing the Nef & Cardo 'tape wants to use Thizz Khalifa as a descriptor for its aesthetic then plz donate the £5 you'll owe me to charity thanx.

Thursday, 21 January 2016

I tried to get away but I couldn't get far, because I saw my man Westwood out by the bar

Step Guardiola upped a Melle Mel freestyle over The Message on Westwood in 1994 where Rap's original 'roid rager performs his famous verse in full and then flips Duke Bootee's 2 verses with a twist of vinegar for the fish & chips massive:

"John Major's ringin' Westwood's phone
So he can throw a jam at Nate Dogg's home"


Melle Mel - The Message freestyle
(From Westwood's Radio 1 show; 1994)


It's the C.O.D Father Part III, mushy peas, sippin' on some badly-brewed tea.

Monday, 18 January 2016

#TeamShilpaPoppadom


Spice dropped a new song last week, but my favourite dancehall track right about now has to be that Popcaan song from the chode-end of 2015 where he goes all Pumdog Millionaire. Pardon the pun and all, but Popcaan's recent songs about semi-automatic weapons absolutely body his recent popular songs about smokin' weed. Naturally, all of the above slaughter the corny Jamie Xx song deader than Jade Goody or Jo from S Club 7's post-Celebrity Big Brother career. U.K headz - I do this 4 u!!

Popcaan - Wicked Man Thing
(From the internet; 2015)

Sunday, 17 January 2016

It was all good just a week ago 4 real

Or, in this instance, foreal foreal.


Ezale's next single sounds right up my road judging from the trailer here, but Instagram snippets have a tendency to lead to instant disappointments. When Nef The Pharaoh posted a teaser for Mozzy's Be Here on the 'gram in early January, I thought the rapper formerly known as Lil' Tim had the song to capitalize on his buzz: a low-key mob music equivalent of what Lemonade was to Gucci Mane in 2009. Then that shit dropped in plena a week later and what June On A Beat gaveth Mozzy with the Buck Rogers boom-clack production, he also tooketh away with his crappy hook which sounds like it'd been slid in from another song entirely. My heart sank like "no thanks!"

It sucks when you set your expectations too high (geddit?). What's really gonna suck, however, is if this Ezale single features a guest verse from G-Eazy.

Saturday, 16 January 2016

British man posts rap songs from Soundcloud

HotStylz - TONIK (The Only N*gga I Know)
(From Soundcloud; 2016)


On one hand, the internet now enables every one hit wonder to hang around endlessly flinging songs at Soundcloud forever ever ever ever; on the other hand, the internet also now enables every one hit to hang around endlessly flinging songs at Soundcloud until they eventually come up with another legitimate bangeur. It's taken the Lookin' Boy lads close to a decade to record another snap-tremendo where anybody & everybody can get it, but here we are in 2016 with TONIK (The Only N*gga I Know). Can't put shit past 'em, got mans on they own song mad enough to pwn 'em.

Colonel Loud ft. Too $hort, Snoop & Ricco Barrino - California (remix)
(From Soundcloud; 2016)


Colonel Loud's hit single over the We Are One loop is a Club 18 - 35 Players Holiday to the best coast by 3 outta-state rappers & their crooner buddy, but the song is so much more evocative now it's been remixed to feature a couple of native points of view from Too $hort & Snoop in the place of of T.I imagining himself in a Doggy Style interlude and Young Dolph pretending he's bezzie mates with Crips & Bloods from Inglewood. Ain't no Freaky Tales without them locale-specific details.

Friday, 15 January 2016

Song from Eden

Not only is Another Chance's 2007 single Everytime I See Her (Sound Of Eden) a staple of K-Klass' sunday afternoon sets to ageing ravers and aggy Scousers alike, it's the greatest K-Klass song never wrote. Why? Because it took a somewhat dated early 90s classic and transformed it into another timeless pop masterpiece like K-Klass' remix of Bobby Brown's Two Can Play That Game. How? Via the fine art of marshalling Jefferson.

The song's greatness, however, extends far beyond the house that jack built: those handbag-pianos and wailing diva breakdowns are ripe for someone like Jackie Chain to rap over; the vocalist bloke practically invented Future's Sh!t flow the way he said "THAT.. GIRL.. HAS.. QUALITY.. I'VE.. NEVER.. SEEN!" in the lead up to the first chorus; and that video is a Captain Save A Hoe-themed episode of Skins as directed by Jerzy Skolimowski circa Deep End.

Frankie Knuckles never got to hear David Zowie's House Every Weekend, but at least he passed away safe in the knowledge that Everytime I See Her (Sound Of Eden) had perfecto-ed the artform he'd invented.

Another Chance - Everytime I See Her (Sound of Eden)
(From Everytime I See Her single; 2007)

Thursday, 14 January 2016

This ain't the rain, this is the snow

Boosie gotta the only rapper alive who can sell a lyric like "sometimes I need me a friend, I got noone to call/I need me somebody who'll listen, maybe I need me a dog" with appropriate amounts of gravitas and wryness, right? Thus, Smile To Keep From Crying is my own personal jam from his most recent album because it's the only track on there which doesn't make me depressed enough to go drown myself in a toilet bowl afterwards.

Boosie Badazz - Smile To Keep From Crying
(From In My Feelings (Goin' Thru It) album; 2016)


Also thank that chipper piano loop for being an oxidant waitin' to happen on an otherwise uncomfortably-personal LP chocked full of industrial production.

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