Sunday, 24 July 2016

Season of the Sacness

How come Lavish D is allowed to record albums in prison? More importantly, how come Lavish D is allowed to record songs threatening Mozzy's life and implicating himself in ordering various shootings of Mozzy's crew from prison? It'd be tempting to call Lavish the Vybz Kartel of rap but even the World Boss couldn't get away with a pokyhumous song like Where's Waldo?:

"Even tho you lyin' in your songs, you can rap good
You can be the next Denzel, you can act good
The lil' homies catch you, they gon' smoke you like a backwood
Even yo' fans be sayin' shit that a rat would"

King Lavish D - Where's Waldo?
(From Real N*ggaz Don't Die album; 2016)

Ya host enjoyed Lavish D's beef with Philthy Rich as the banner on this site can attest, but this situation with Mozzy is already very unpleasant and can't possibly end well for either party. Rappers - stop the violence or, at the very least, take it back to the days of making your enemy run headfirst into a hedge.

Friday, 22 July 2016

Reasons why I love YouTube # 72

Shout outs to YouTube, the HD uncensored version of Guns N' Roses' 1988 show at The Ritz is on that bitch! Peep how Axl Rose's snakeskin jacket glistens like jizm under moonlight, and hear the G.O.A.T rawk song of the '80s free from any of MTV's annoying bleeping during its profane final third:

L.A's Streetz is talkin' and they reckon that Axl's trademark Snake Dance was just a modified Crip Walk for white ppl. The proof is in the prancing:

Tuesday, 19 July 2016

Born To Audiomack: best of Kap G edition

LOOK AT WHAT KAP G'S BROUGHT TO THE TABLE THESE PAST 3 YEARS: a wildly inconsistent catalogue for sure, but when he does come correct, the College Park Mexican is one of the few distinct artists in modern Atlanta rap. Here's a best of playlist from someone who's been ridin' for Kurious George Ramierez since 2013: tagless MP3s for all the song which exist no-DJ, tagged MP3s for the few song which don't. "Call Me David I'm The One To Drake" for the tagless F*ck La Policia MP3 which isn't available on any British retail/streaming service - Brexit done built a wall already?

Related: Russian Ray still doin' marvelous work zipping up my old generic list posts.

Monday, 18 July 2016

Feel it in the air

You got me mixed-up twisted like Arabian gymnasts if you think I haven't been waitin' on this song. Finally drops later this week apparently.

Saturday, 16 July 2016

Rap songs that aren't on YouTube but really should be # 17

"Might post her on the street 'cause I'm colder than Polish feet
You can you say you sorta like The Jack' but you know you weak
You.. couldn't move like me in ya deepest sleep"

The Jacka - Rule The World
(From AP.9 Presents: The Mob Movement compilation; 2007)

Short & not-so-sweet Jacka deep cut from the same AP.9 compilation Aspen originally appeared on. In a perfect world where rappers don't leave key songs off their own albums, Rule The World woulda been the regal intro track on Tear Gas with Aspen following it as the opening song proper.

BTW, Russian Ray just turnt my 2010 - 2015 NorCal Slap Files playlist into a RAR file. I'm not a rap blogga, I just post everything I like; Ray be right with me, zippin' up everything I write. It's the life, it's not a fairytale; she got a narrow tail like Natalie Gal.

Thursday, 14 July 2016

Y'all can keep catchin' feelings, I'ma keep catchin' planes

"And it lookin' like a Smurf
And my hair lookin' like I surf
I been real since, like, birth
When the Vato pull up you hear that *BRR BRRR* that chirp"

Dat Boi T ft. Kap G - DGAF
(From DGAF single; 2016)

So calebo ondulado. Here at The Martorialist we do GAF about the Houston Latino X Kap G connection goin' on this summer. Viva La Vatos!

Related note: Russian Ray zipped up my anti-boys in blue generic list post featuring Kap's F*ck La Policia. Вива ла Раза!

Tuesday, 12 July 2016

No blacks in Hauntology please, we're British

After decades of speculation about whether Simon Reynolds views the voices of ethnic minorities in rap music as a minor texture to be endured rather than enjoyed, his Wire magazine review of KanYe West's last album finally confirms what many of us have suspected all along: Grimey Simey™ doesn't care about blk ppl.

Whereas Reynolds would usually dismiss Rap's labyrinthine complex stories of life in AmeriKKKa as "some same old shit about bling and hoes" he tolerates purely for the thrill of the Mantronix/Bomb Squad/Dr. Dre/Timbaland/Mannie Fresh/Neptunes/Lil' Jon/DJ Mustard production backing it, his Life Of Pablo review finally makes it explicitly clear that he's always viewed the black voices in rap music as an undesirable sub-human nuisance he'd hate to share airspace with let alone swap bodies with on some Castor Troy shit:

Moral of this story? As far as ex-Melody Maker scribes called Simon go, even Pricey has less #problematic views about ethnic minorities than Grimey Simey™. Simon frigging Price FFS!

Monday, 11 July 2016

Generic list post: FTP edition

If you were a teacher's pet in junior school who went on to get bullied in high school then chances are you became a pig as an adult. F*ck all bizzies except Officer Crabtree from 'Allo 'Allo and the blonde bird from Reno 911. 22 great rap songs which are none too complimentary about the rozzers:

Ice-T - Street Killer (1991)
Cypress Hill - Pigs (1991)
Kap G - F*ck La Policia (2014)
Public Enemy - 911 Is A Joke (1990)
Mac Dre - Punk Police (1992)
Nighthawks - Cop Hell (2002)
Lil' Boosie ft. Webbie - F*ck The Police (2009)
Main Source - Just A Friendly Game Of Baseball (1991)
Ice Cube - Ghetto Bird (1993)
Max B - Cops Come Runnin' (2009)
Devin The Dude ft. Cory Mo - Go Fight Some Other Crime (2004)
KRS One - Black Cop (1993)
Big Lurch ft. Jay Boi - On Da Run (2004)
O.C. - Constables (1994)
D.I.T.C - The Enemy (1999)
The Coup - Pork And Beef (2001)
Geto Boys Crooked Officer (1993)
Turf Talk ft. E-40 - Popo's (2007)
Uncle Murda - I Shot The Sheriff (2006)
N.W.A - F*ck The Police (1988)
Eldorado Red ft. Mel Matrix - F*ck The Police Pt. 2 (2006)
Mic Terror - I Don't Call The Cops (2016)

Sunday, 10 July 2016

She told me everything you said and how you want me dead

"Never trust a bitch, that's what I told
N*ggas change on you quick, that's what I was shown"

Yung Cat - Money On My Head
(From YouTube; 2016)

With or without his trademark porch, Yung Cat is quietly blooming into Kansas City's first and foremost exponent of Husalah-wave. Call him Cat because his town's fulla rats.

Thursday, 7 July 2016

Born To Audiomack: best of Fam-Lay edition

Upped my best of Fam-Lay compilation to the 'mack because I'm tryna get ya browser Skrung Owt in 2016. You either lyin' or you deaf as Foxy Brown if you claim this isn't a top five Martorialist playlist of all time.

Other Audiomack rap playlists courtesy of ya boy: AZ Deep Cuts, Best of Jackie Chain, Best of Grip Plyaz, Grand Puba Deep Cuts, Best of Lil' Chris, and Rap Songs Which Aren't On YouTube.

Tuesday, 5 July 2016

R U Still Damned?

2Pac - Fuck All Y'All (O.G version)
(From Thug Life sessions; 1994)

Personal favourite unreleased O.G version 2Pac song right here. Probably intended for the Thug Life album judging from the tone of its production and presumably mothballed because of the George Benson sample. Quite fancy the notion of it being an exclusive on the Above The Rim OST, meself - Lord knows that compilation could have done with a few more rap songs in among all those lukewarm R&B jams.

Remember when Suge Knight & Dr. Dre shelved the exclusive 1994 Dogg Pound & Nate Dogg bangeur featured in Above The Rim's obligatory club scene, probably so they could include one of those two shitty Jewell songs on the movie's OST instead? Thankfully, it turned up on the Sunset Park soundtrack 2 years later in 1996, albeit with its title switched from Mobbin' With Tha Dogg Pound to Just Doggin'.

Monday, 4 July 2016


Shift K3Y - The Underground
(From his upcoming Thru The Nit3 album; 2016)

Talk about a bassline for the waistline. Shift K3Y is really out chea overcharging the industry for what they did to Artful Dodger and Dane Bowers. Time to pay the (pied) piper.

r|t|c >>>>>>>>> R.T.J.

Sunday, 3 July 2016

A recent-ish jams 4 u compilation (2016 volume 3)

Everything I post is super-factual, even if I'm bloggin' supernatural. Everything I post got that thump, especially if I put it on a Jams 4 U comp':

Yung Cat - You Ah Bitch (2016)
Dreezy ft. Jeremih - Body (2016)
Brill 4 The Thrill ft. Plushh - Pay Me (2016)
Webbie ft. Boosie BadAzz - Problem (2016)
A-Wax - Always Something (2016)
Rittz ft. Mike Posner & E-40 - Inside Of The Groove (2016)
Danny Brown - When It Rain (2016)
Kap G - Southside (2016)
Carolyn Rodriguez ft. Kap G - On The Grind (2016)
Jimmy Wopo - Elm Street (2016)
The Team - Can I (2016)


Dreezy & Jeremih's Body is probably a tad too old and obvious by now, but I'll be damned if it hasn't blossomed into my holding summer jam of 2016. Conversely, Carolyn Rodriguez & Kap G's On The Grind is my favourite song of the moment which absolutely nobody else gives a f*ck about - where's the luv 4 Latino Rap & Bullshit songs with air-guitar potential?

Saturday, 2 July 2016

I'm a walkin' bomb so my young boys grenades

No Afrika Bambaataa?

"Now I'm that muthaf*ckin' n*gga, tell me sumthin' I don't know
Tick-tick, bitch - Jimmy Wop 'bout to blow"

Jimmy Wopo - Walkin' Bomb Part 2
(From YouTube; 2016

The unlikely scenario where the Elm Street kid from Pittsburgh drops another blamger. File this under ‘there's life in the old Get Up Offa That Thing break yet’ and ‘rap videos which abandon their sub-plot halfway through.’ Did the white kid get outta Wopo's neighbourhood in one piece or is he lost in time like the spannered penalties in the Italy/Germany game?

Thursday, 30 June 2016

Martorial Elegance # 86

This is the post where we suggest classic west coast Gangsta-Rap albums which someone really needs to photoshop over The Documentary on Philthy Rich's Cali' canon jacket. Top fives dead or alive like this quinary of LP's:

Oi Hotbox - where's that Philthy Rich pic from?

Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Generic list post: June 2016

"And my hair lookin' like I surf..."

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Kap G opened up a secrete barbershop in Liverpool.

Kap G - Southside (2016)
YG - Bool, Balm & Bollective (2016)
YG - Who Shot Me? (2016)
A-Wax - Always Something (2016)
The Team - Can I (2016)
Mozzy ft. June - 1 Up Top (2016)
Brill 4 The Thrill ft. Plushh - Pay Me (2016)
Yung Cat - Want My Brother Back (2016)
Danny Brown - When It Rain (2016)
Jimmy Wopo - Elm Street (2016)
Larry Heard - Missing You (1999)
Larry Heard - Ominous Sky (1999)
Donae'o - Mami No Like (2015)
Spice - Indicator (2016)

Other shit: Boone's new single Shout Out is a work-of-art as a video; Spitta & Maine Musik's Out Da Window makes me sad that Maine is now locked up for posing with stolen submachine guns; Vibin' In This Bih is the first Kodak Black song I've liked, but Gucci Mane's appearance sounds as outta place as his verse on MC Hammer; no offence but ZMoney's Rich B4 Rap 2 mixtape is more of a Heroin Musik 2 amirite?

Tuesday, 28 June 2016

'Ullo Jah! Got a new motor?

Would the likes of Beyonce, Adele, Nicki Minaj, Taylor Swift, Rihanna, Carley Rae Jepsen, Kamaiyah, or Susanne Sundfør ever put their life on the line for a music video? Spice did dat for Indicator and then consigned the aforementioned dangerous footage to a Behind-The-Scenes trailer clip on some Live Free or Die Hard type shit:

Spice - Indicator
(From YouTube; 2016)

As well as being a banger for the ages, Indicator is also a riddim for the arses of every variety as Slim Westwood proved when he put on for #TeamFlatBatty during one of Spice's recent visits to London. Not every gal has the Needle Eye pum-pum, but a dance like the Indicator is for The People in toto:

Cheap plug: I added Indicator to my best of Spice 2014 - 2016 playlist.

Monday, 27 June 2016

Fonk Upon A Clyde

The Team - Can I
(From the forthcoming Hell Of A Night 2 album; 2016)

What's most surprising here - that The Team would return? (again!) Or that a 2016 Team comeback song would be a chirpsing anthem as composed by Kokane?

Friday, 24 June 2016

Egyptian Mosher

18 years before KanYe West "put the pussy in a sarcophagus" on that song with the great Nicki Minaj cameo & the Godawful Jay Camel verse, Danzig's roadies & girlfriends did that shit foreal foreal in the Bodies video. Attention Hypebeast rappers out here tryna dress like 80's metallers - We don't believe you, you need more peephole crop-vests à la Lil' Glenn from Lodi.

Danzig - Bodies
(From Danzig III: How the Gods Kill album; 1992

Thursday, 23 June 2016

Key to the city

"Nah, you don't wanna go there
You might have a lil' heart but I'll put a big hole there"

Key Loom ft. Cutty Banks - Out The Ghetto
(From Rules Of Engagement album; 2016)

The unlikely scenario where Savage Timez combines with Dangerous Minds. God bless rap music for providing an outlet where a Puerto Rican Gamorrean Guard lookalike can record the Siccness radio station's 2016 equivalent of Gangsta's Paradise.

Picture a Dangerous Minds remake set in Oakland and starring Lil' Debbie in the Michelle Pfeiffer role. It'd be a 90 minute version of the Old School Hyphy video.