Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Reasons why I love YouTube # 60

Thank u Drew Barber 4 comin' through and alerting me to the fact that Ball With Us from the 2nd Legit Ballin' compilation has an amazing video. This shit is like Chicago's version of the Flava In Ya Ear remix or California Love remix videos in terms of the sheer amount of local legends who make cameos. And then there's the matter of Twista's hairdo and proto-"dat ass!" face at 0:03:

"Befo' we sweat let's take some pictures to add to the portfoli'
Moey, droey, that shit I smoke with my homies
Takin' penitentiary poses thirty ballas strong
Only takin' pictures with bitches that gon' show us the thong"

Twista ft. Legit Ballaz & Johnny P - Ball Wit' Us
(From Legit Ballin: New Testament 2k Street Scriptures - Volume 2 compilation; 2001)

Note to ironic h*pster bloggers: fuck your "rap squats", it's the penitentiary pose. Always has been, always will be.

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

American whip

What I dig about future viral smash #Whip by Famous To Most is that it simultaneously manages to hark back to records like Whistle's (Nothin' Serious) Just Buggin' and forecast a future sub-genre of rap which sounds akin to a car crash of Travis Porter & Dorrough's Old School Nikes:

Famous To Most - #Whip
(From #Whip single; 2014)

Monday, 15 September 2014

I'm in dere like booty hair and that's my duty there

"Where you get that game from, huh bruh?
You comin weak and can't be pimpin her on the daily and leavin the dubs
'Cause baby knows you're a scrub
You gotta be more like all the pimps in the industry
Much love to 8Ball & MJG
Too $hort and Ice-T
Pimp C, Bun B, and Suga Free
Playas like us is what you couldn't be"

Twista ft. Ms. Kane - Game Recognize Game
(From the Legit Ballin' Volume 1 compilation; 1999)

File this under ‘Man, Twista really had the illest non-album deep cuts on those Legit Ballin'/Legit Ballaz compilations he put out’ and ‘Ms Kane's reverse flip of N.W.A's I Ain't Tha 1 from Legit Ballin' Volume 3 isn't half bad either.’

Saturday, 13 September 2014

Martorial elegance: "they never seen 'em in real life, I live a real life" edition

Just spotted these shoes on the Union blog's photo shoot for that recent Junya Wanatabe X Levi's collection and I want them now and shit, like nowwwwwwwww. Alas, the Union post didn't list what they are, I can't see 'em anywhere on the Union webstore, and none of my IRL & internet friends who follow #menswear can identify them either.

Rap internet, you're my last hope here. Tell me what these shits are so we can resume normal service and get back to discussing Sage The Gemini punchlines or the time Tarrie B appeared on an episode of Jukebox Jury after Booty Collins, Pat Collins, the bird who played Kerry Bishop in Neighbours, and the bloke from New Order had voted Murder She Wrote a hit:

This clip would be total Martorialist catnip if it weren't for the fact that New Order were pretty rubbish other than their handful of obvious singles, and Pat Cash played a sport that's primarily enjoyed by alleged paedophile pop singers and Elliot Rogers lookalikes who think all London's working class tube workers are scum.

Friday, 12 September 2014

Jay-Z lost

"I know that broad gon' want pop me bad when I drop the Jag'
And try and turn my sons against me like a hockey dad"

Consequence ft. KanYe West - Take It As A Loss
(From Take 'Em To The Cleaners CD; 2004)

Quick reminder that a playlist of all the tracks KanYe & Consequence recorded together between 2003 - 2005 would result in a collection that's at least a trillion times better than Watch The Throne.

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

Ayo Danny Brown

Just because you can make songs with rappers whose music you enjoy such as TREE, ZMoney and BeatKing it does not necessarily mean that you should. If you really must insist on making a song with every underground regional rapper you've discovered via reading mixtape reviews on Pitchfork then can you please spare a moment's thought on how your style would compliment theirs and not just rush into the booth and squawk all over other people's otherwise perfectly good songs in that voice you've been using on every single fucking cameo verse you've recorded since XXX?

You are out here combining the least savoury practices of A$AP Ferg, El-P, Drake, and RiFF RaFF right now, and it's an even worse look for you than that time you were forced to pretend to enjoy Kitty Pryde's music after your manager procured her contract from one of those Wavery nonces.

Tuesday, 9 September 2014

Where is teh love for Limp Bizkit's true auteur?

"I'm the realest, that's first things first
My biscuits ain't limp, but shout out Fred Durst"

P-Lo ft. Sage The Gemini - Show You
(From The L.A Leakers' #LeaksOfTheIndustry14 mixtape; 2014)

Wes Borland be like THIS right now:

Bay Area-related tip: A-Wax finally dropped that Money Back song from his Instagram which ANU & I thought was gonna be on Pullin' Strings. Think I prefer the Instagram snippet over the full song, tbh.

Monday, 8 September 2014

The whole Byrdgang's in here like Shannon Hoon was here!

Well, not quite the whole Byrdgang, but there's a 50%/10% ratio of Purple City Byrdgang and M.O.B Byrdgang in this here posse picture from 2005:

J.R Writer and Ike Eyes are also present, but I dunno if the other blokes are big-time NY drug dealers who were a crucial part of the rap landscape at the time like Killer Ben, Rap Supreme, Kelvin "50 Cent" Martin et al in the Paid In Full posse picture, or just a bunch of weed-carrier's weed-carriers? Whoever the other goons may be, this JPG is more important to the overall history of New York rap than 97% of the music to emerge from NYC thus far in 2014.

And so here's a generic list of 10 A-Mafia songs that are 2000 light years better than Bobby Shmurda's Hot N*gga but which weren't afforded the same level of attention/support because A-Mafia can buy beer legally and NYC is a city run by Ken Kaniff & Cyril Smith type creeps. As FEAR nearly once opined and Das Racist recently proved, New York's alright if you like sex offenders:

Jim Jones & A-Mafia - The 'Jects remix (2003)
A-Mafia - Hell For A Hustla (2003)
A-Mafia - Everywhere (2004)
A-Mafia & 40 Cal - 40th Boys (2005)
A-Mafia - 1000 Grams (2010)
A-Mafia - Love Train (2011)
A-Mafia ft. 2 Chainz - Real Live Pro remix (2011)
A-Mafia - Wayne Perry (2011)
A-Mafia - Realest N*gga In My City (2012)
A-Mafia - Story Of My Life (2012)

Saturday, 6 September 2014

Heaven knows I'm Ms. Melodie now

Really didn't think Lil' Chris could top Keep Your Head Up for its combination of the positive and the polyphonic, and then he goes and releases a 2014 analogue to Self Destruction with a 9 year old girl who I'm gonna assume is either his daughter/cousin/niece or a random pre-pubescent plucked from the west side of Chicago who Chris' manager is passing off as the inverse-Lil' Mouse?

Heaven ft. Lil' Chris - Don't Shoot
(From YouTube; 2014)

Chicago experts and/or ex-pats: is this the first foreal foreal Kidz Bop Bop song, and why is it catchier than all of Lil' Chris' own Bop songs?

Friday, 5 September 2014

Shinola songs by shit rappers part whatever

The only way Flo Rida could ever make a song I'd ever want to listen to is by nicking a horn sample that sounds like it's from a 45 King-produced Lakim Shabazz song a la Ariana Grande's Problem and then letting Sage The Gemini do the hook and most of the rapping. He did just that and we've all been sleeping on it for the past couple of weeks:

Flo Rida ft. Sage The Gemini - GDFR
(From GDFR single; 2014)

DEV's Kiss It, Adrian Marcel's 2 AM, Show Banga's I Been That, and this... Sage The Gemini is pretty much 2014's cameo king M.V.P.

Wanted dead or alive: Dorrough edition

Dorrough Music ft. Lil' Boosie - Beat Up The Block
(From the internet; 2014)

Man, I swear Dorrough is trollin' me here since his latest cut Beat Up The Block has a title that's somewhat reminiscent of the song of his I've been lookin' for a good quality MP3 of for about 3 years now to no avail:

"I'm a grizzly boy straight out the zoo
Shockin' hoes like Pikachu
Surprisin' n*ggas like peek-a-boo with the okie-doke or the switcheroo"

Dorrough Music - Swangin' Beatin' Down Blvd
(From Dallas mixtapes; 2006 or 2007/The Vault mixtape; 2011)

A Texan cousin of DJ Unk's Comin' Down Da Street, Swangin' Beatin' Down Blvd was one of Dorrough's early tracks which was big in Dallas around 2006/2007 but then ended being up cut from his debut album for some silly reason, and it's now been wiped from the internet at the behest of Bob Perry even though it's never officially been available for sale digitally. Best shit Dorrough's ever made and ever likely to make, and I'd probably donate one of my pinky toes to get a good quality MP3 of it.

If one of eOne Entertainment's unpaid interns sees this post when they're Googling for illegal links of their material then tell your bosses to put that CDQ MP3 of Swangin' Beatin' Down Blvd up for sale on Amazon.

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

An Akinyele deep cuts compilation 4 u

It's 2014 and even your grandparents can recite Put It In Your Mouth from front-to-back on cue during Christmas lunch, and Vagina Diner is now rightfully lauded as an early '90's N.Y classic in certain quarters of the rap media. But how familiar are you with the rest of Akinyele's catalogue? If you still don't know the difference between your Aktapuss and your Anakonda then here's a zipfile of 15 Akinyele deep cuts from his lesser-known releases.

This thing is in chronological order so you can witness Akinyele's blossom from the ruffneck street-rap of In The World and The Robbery Song to the post-Jiggy Rap & Bullshit of Three and Do You Wanna? Moreover, you can also witness Ak's metaphysical progression from Break A Bitch Neck in 1995 to Love My Bitch in 2001, where dude went from "beatin' bitches up ain't nothin' new to me, whether you're down with social security or you're just hittin' puberty" to "I spit flows for ya, kick down door's for ya, even suck all ya toes for ya" on some Rap Game High-Heel Throat Fuck Scene From Tenebre type shit:

(GIF via Party Sparty)

And that's not even the best Biggie interpolation here since you can find his Juicy homage Coochie ("it was all a dream, I used to read Playboy magazine/n*ggas gettin' their dicks licked with whipped cream..") at track number 9. Also of great note on the rap history tip is Sister Sister, the only true heir to Biz's Just A Friend as far as rap songs about being marooned in the friend-zone go:

Akinyele - Deep Cuts compilation

1. Break A Bitch Neck O.G version (with Kool G. Rap)
2. In The World O.G version
3. The Robbery Song
4. Enter
5. Murder
6. Juan Valdez O.G version
7. Get Up
8. Sister Sister
9. Coochie
10. Three
11. Messin' With My Cru
12. Gangsters
13. Do You Wanna? (with Uneek)
14. Problems
15. Love My Bitch (with Simone)


If I'd ruled the world in 1997 then The Firm's line-up would have consisted of Nas, AZ, Foxy Brown & Akinyele, and their album would have comprised of a 50/50 ratio of Phone Tap-type tracks where AZ & Nas went back-and-forth with each other and filthy sex tracks where Foxy & Akinyele went back-and-forth at each other like Ak' & Uneek later did on Do You Wanna? in 2001.

Tuesday, 2 September 2014


Just some new nasty Baton Rouge bottom-runger rap to spoil your tuesday via the label of that geezer who talked shit about Kevin Gates on Young Ready's last 'tape. Lil' One Tha Champ dropped a song with Mouse a few weeks back that was rubbish, but this new track is a nice little slice of tawdry Young Ready-core, which appears to be a legitimate sub-genre of Baton Rouge-rap in 2014:

"Dress code colder than Pluto, swaggin' like I'm Obama
You n*ggas is super-lame, I put that on yo' mamma"

Lil' One The Champ ft. Scotty Cain - U Kno
(Spotted at DGB; 2014)

Lil' One The Champ out chea keepin' Louisiana's penchant for Obama jeans alive in 2014.

Sunday, 31 August 2014

Generic list post: Biting Etto edition

EttelThun just dropped a ten essential B-sides of the '80s post, ya boy Evil Ed O.G right chea couldn't resist gettin' in on the act too, if only to remind motherf**kers that the beatbox version of Treat Her Like A Prostitute from the Teenage Love 12" is vastly superior to the Great Adventures Of.. LP version. 10 Martorialist-approved 12" exclusive B Side-only cuts of the '80s which aren't in EttelThun's list:

Doug E. Fresh & MC Ricky D - La Di Da Di (1985)
Slick Rick - Treat Her Like A Prostitute (Movie Version) (1988)
Spoonie Gee - Love Rap (1980)
Lakim Shabazz - Your Arms Too Short To Box With God (1989)
Too $hort - Girl (Cocaine Rap) (1985)
Jungle Brothers ft. Q-Tip - The Promo (1988)
De La Soul - What's More (1989)
Egyptian Lover - Livin' On The Nile (Extended Club Re-mix) (1986)
Positive K ft. King Of Chill - Step Up Front (3 Heineken Technique Mix) (1988)
Dr. Jeckyll & Mr Hyde - Doing The Do (1982)

Saturday, 30 August 2014

Generic list post: august 2014

"So baby gimme that TOOT TOOT!!
And lemme give ya that BEEP BEEP PEEP PEEP!!"

Customary round-up post of the songs ya boy Mark Ker Moe Dee has been listening to heavy during the month when The Boy From Space finally came out on DVD.

K Kutta - Lum Lum (2013)
A-Wax - Mozart (2014)
Yowda ft. YG - That's How It Go (2014)
Looni - Right Now (2014)
Potna Deuce - Cool Thang (1994)
Young Thug - IDK Why (2014)
Rich Kidz - Wanted (2014)
Mouse On Tha Track - Liberation (The Cut) (2014)
Lil' Boosie - Crazy (2014)
Jackie Chain - Party Girls (2014)
Young Cellski ft. UNLV - Stressed Out (1994)
Rae Sremmurd - No Type (2014)
Lil Debbie - I Do My Thang (2014)
Bobby Brackins ft. Mila J & G-Eazy - Hot Box (2014)
Lil' B - No Black Person Is Ugly (2014)
Rich Boy ft. Game - Ridin' Thru My City (2014)

Previously: july, june, may, april, march, february, and january.

Friday, 29 August 2014

Reasons why I love YouTube # 59

Because two of my absolute favourite songs of the year have finally been blessed with videos so maybe they might blow up to the extent that I could hear them at a Westwood party in Manchester or catch them on Channel AKA at 3:AM during a bout of insomnia? Either would do, tbh.

5th Ward Weebie - Let Me Find Out Part 1
(From YouTube; 2014)

K Camp - Oh No
(From YouTube; 2014)

As much as I want both these songs to blow up, Plz God, do NOT let The Canadian remix either of them. Actually that should read The Canadians because the only thing worse than a Drake remix of Oh No would be a Ryan Hemsworth ersatz-trip hop remix of Let Me Find Out Part 1.

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Slim Thug had "bitches on the east coast, bitches on the west"

Did he have any southern belles in his little black book too? Find out on one of my favourite Swishahouse deep cuts:

Slim Thug, PJ & Paul Wall - Live From The Lonestar
(From ????/Paul Wall's Sittin' Sidewayz compilation; 2006)

Thought I should probably upload this since the only place you can find it on the general internet in 2014 is on Grooveshark. First heard this one on DJ Eleven's amazing Houston Rocks It mix CD back in 2005 and then found the full song on some unofficial Paul Wall compilation a year later. Anyone know what CD it's originally from?

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

God bless America

Max B is in prison forever for a crime he wasn't even present at, while the 3 rapists from Das Racist are free to roam Brooklyn loft parties looking for barely-conscious drunken girls to molest. Migos are more popular than Travis Porter and Rich Kidz despite the fact they've only ever made 3 good songs. Here's a new good Rich Kidz song from their latest EP which dropped yesterday:

"Smokin' and leanin' and shit
She like my demeanour and shit"

Rich Kidz - Wanted
(From Y.A.R.S EP; 2014)

Truth be told, this latest EP isn't soundin' like their best release, but there are 2 tracks that are essential to your Rich Kidz stash: All Around The World is thee jam because it's essentially Sunrise (Interlude) beefed up into a full song, and Wanted is mah shit because it signifies a progression in the Rich Kidz sound and makes me temporarily forget that I'm secretly counting down the days until Skooly starts rolling dolo like Ike Love.

Friday, 22 August 2014

Generic list post: 22 knockin' rap songs which sample or interpolate 80s pop classics

Barely-veiled "Why is a shitty UK Hip-House remix of Kid 'N' Play's 2 Hype the only rap song that's ever sampled Blancmange's Living On The Ceiling?" post with a self-explanatory premise.

M.O.P ft. Tef & Jay-Z - 4 Alarm Blaze (1998)
Foxy Brown - Cruel Summer (2003)
Z-Ro ft. Tanya Herron - Continue To Roll (2006)
The Diplomats - Built This City (2003)
Cam'Ron - Pass The Dutchie (2009)
Jim Jones & Max B - Beverly Hills Cop (2008)
French Montana & Max B ft. Dame Grease - Goon Muzik (We Run NY) (2008)
Max B - Lonely (2010)
A-Wax - Be Together (2004)
AP.9 ft. The Jacka - Reflections (2009)
Mann ft. 50 Cent - Buzzin' remix (2010)
Ma$e - Wanna Hurt Ma$e (1997)
Puff Daddy ft. Ma$e & Notorious B.I.G - Been Around The World (1997)
Lil' Kim - Right Now (2000)
TRU - I Got Candy (1997)
Kane & Abel ft. Master P - Time After Time (1998)
Trina - Da Baddest Bitch (2000)
Lil' Wayne ft. Boo & Mack Maine - I Like It (2007)
YG - She A Model (2009)
Original Concept - Pump That Bass (1986)
Jermaine Dupri ft. Nas & Monica - I've Got To Have It (2000)
A.Z. of MobStyle - What's Going On, Black? (1991)