You do realise that you really fucking suck, right? Like Return Of The DJ compilation series albums on Bomb Records (a series of unlistenable turntablist albums from the late nineties which made Eric B's cacophonous Chinese Arithmatic sound as awesome as Behold The Detonator by Tuff Crew) levels of dreadfulness?
At least back in those days of the Return Of The DJ cackfests there was the alternative of the Crooklyn Clan 12"s which AV8 Records were releasing. Be Faithful with Fatman Scoop was a club classic which somehow became an unlikely # 1 on the worldwide pop charts 4 years after it emerged in 1999, but, realistically, there's only one east coast party jam from the nineties whose arms aren't too short to box with the godly The 900 Number and it's not Let Me Clear My Throat by DJ Kool, which is cool and a top five live-rap song of all time (Here We Go by Run Dmc being the G.O.A.T in that department), but the Crooklyn Clan track from the Chooze One EP where DJ Riz & DJ Sizzahands gave the Benjamins instrumental a dose of gamma-rays and then added a scattering of incredibly well selected vocal snippets and came up with this leviathan :
Crooklyn Clan - The Franklinz (1997)
A perennial Funkmaster Flex favourite (one imagines Cipha Sounds got "The Shoulder" from Flex a few times trying to sneak this into his sets at The Tunnel), still a Westwood staple to this day, a joint which I've witnessed lay waste to dancefloors on two seperate continents, and I once tried to play it at a sunday afternoon BBQ soiree some friends of mine threw a couple of years back only to receive the gasface from some middle-aged casual dad. Pfffft - what I look like half-steppin' with the clean version, doggie?