Sunday 31 July 2011

Kids 2011

Waka bumps into a multi-ethnic crew of teenage skaters in Manhattan and then takes them to a skate shop and cops them all new boards :



Notable because, as the Palace Gangbanging at Ground Zero video proved, there really is no better modern soundtrack to skate clips than Waka, and because these young 'uns probably got more cash out of him in one afternoon than the Dipset skate team got out of Jim Jones in three years.

Crap skate/rap puns, anyone?

Tonz 'O' Gonz
The Search For Animal Chingy
Get Rowley
Luck Of Lucien Clarke
Video Dayz Of Wayback
Ced Gee (Perelta Force One)
Bones Brigade, Thugs & Harmony
Harold Husalah
Shorty's Kaught In The System
Paid Tha Koston To Be Da Boss
Gleaming The Ice Cube

Friday 29 July 2011

Martorial elegance # 46

Young Jeezy ft. Yo Gotti - All White Everything remix
(From the internetz; 2010)



Thinking of investing in some more white clobber other than plain t-shirts and the odd Polo beanie, so this requires a trawl through the wheat and the chaff of alabaster menswear in search of sartorial inspiration beyond Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, Don Johnson in Miami Vice, the Manic Street Preachers pre-1994 and Jeezy & Gotti in the All White Everything video :















With this post comes the realisation of what Jeezy needs to do to ensure that Thug Motivation : 103 doesn't do all bronze everything numbers : record a remake of Trap N*ggaz with White replacing Jody Breeze as the cocky young hustler Jeezy imparts his vast street knowledge upon a la Yoda and Luke, innit :

Boyz N Da Hood - Trap N*ggaz
(From Boyz N Da Hood; 2005)



You're probably thinking that sounds more akin to Eminem and Dre's Guilty Conscience than it does an ebony and ivory version of Trap N*ggaz, but pump ya brakes, slow ya roll, dook, because this one has the potential to transcend rap and shoot off into the pop stratosphere as the new Easy Lover by Phil 'n' Phil.

Wednesday 27 July 2011

Grove St. Party

2 great songs featuring 2 southern rap titans from the otherwise unremarkable Black Grove 401 Records compilation which abounded with excellently monikered no-names like Freddy Fukyu and Swamp & The Swamp Life Gators :



Pimp C ft. Sir T - It's Under My Rug
(From Black Grove 401 Records Compilation Vol. 1; 2004)



This one is a tasty broth for every gentleman partial to dining on Country-Rap Tunes from the sub-genre's very own Raymond Blanc : start with the sort of Pimp C production, rapping and hook which would've been right at home on Boosie & Webbie's Ghetto Stories, add a H-Town weed carrier who doesn't appear to have been ever heard from again, and then flavour the dish with a couple of minutes of ad libbing where Pimp brags about transcending Space Age Pimpin' with activities he describes as "star ship enterprise."


C-Nile ft. Juvenile & Skip - U Know Me remix
(From Black Grove 401 Records Compilation Vol. 1; 2004)



In which a decent joint by Mobile, Alabama rapper C-Nile from 2003 is given wings to soar its way to the New Orleans rap Elysium via the appendage of verses by Juvenile & U.T.P weed carrier Skip and production that reconfigures the original beat into something sufficiently more sinewy which is best jammed as an accompaniment to Juve's own Nolia Clap remix with Wacko & Skip from U.T.P from the same year, rather than a remix of the earlier C-Nile song.

J-Prince would probably track me down and have me tarred and feathered if I were to ever dare entertain the thought that Bun B accidentally strangling himself whilst taking off a The Hundreds t-shirt would've been much less a loss to rap than Pimp C carking it, but I wonder if he ever realises that everyone is secretly seething that the multi-talented auteur behind UGK ascended to the crossroads, while he's lived on to willingly record songs with Termanology, Drake and J. Cole?

Tuesday 26 July 2011

Dark $tar

Brief thoughts about $tarlito & Don Trip's Step Brothers mixtape :

$tarlito & Don Trip - Life
(From Step Brothers; 2011)



$tarlito & Don Trip - The Realest
(From Step Brothers; 2011)



As far as street albums based on Will Ferrell & Adam McKay movies go, this adheres to its concept much better than Yelawolf's Talladega Nights-themed Ball Of Flames : The Ballad Of Slick Rick E. Bobby; $tarlito and this Don Trip kid have actual chemistry like Boosie & Webbie or Jacka & Husalah; it knocks even though there's nary a Burn One or Coop production in sight; and one can't help but be absolutely appalled that rappers like Freddie Gibbs, Big K.R.I.T, Alley Boy, Spaceghostpurrp and fucking Dom Kennedy are more written about and praised than 'lito.

On the topic of recently released stuff, this new Black Rob album has some joints, but I was right that Up North would be its highlight :

Black Rob - Up North
(From Game Approved, Street Tested; 2011)



If only it was B.R and not Mysonne who'd jacked Jail house Rap, huh? Since Rob is as bad as Soulja Slim was for getting locked up immediately after releasing an album, at least his next bid has the possible silver lining that he can bunk with his old pal G. Dep. That really would be living the notion of Step Brothers to the fullest.

Monday 25 July 2011

Also from the 50th issue of The Source

The Record Report album reviews section with the magazine's 1993 crew opining on a fairly diverse set of releases including Enta Da Stage by Black Moon, Fear Itself by Casual, T.I.M.E by Leaders Of The New School, No Pressure by Erick Sermon, Uhh! ohh! by Splack Pack, Roxbury 02119 by Ed OG & Da Bulldogs, A View To A Kill by Shadz Of Lingo, 187 He Wrote by Spice 1 and Return Of The Boom Bap by Krs-One. Also included is Reginald C. Dennis' The Dennis Files column on page 2 :







Enta Da Stage being described as a "stunning debut that does not disappoint by any stretch of the imagination" and Return Of The Boom Bap not being bestowed with 5 Mics would be the 2 most pertinent bones of contention here, personally, but there's also some good ol' trademark Source East Coast Bias present with that bogstandard Erick Sermon album being deemed as ‘Slammin'’ as Fear Itself and then receiving a higher rating than 187 He Wrote.

Sunday 24 July 2011

Eff you, Rawse!

Not only have you made it a socially acceptable practice for tubby trap-rappers to bare their potbellies every time there's a camera in their vicinity, thus making us all paranoid about our own stubborn post-winter paunches, but it's been brought to my attention recently that you also flagrantly swaggerjacked the paraplegic one from Da Southern Boyz when masquerading that you were rolling like Davros from Doctor Who in Wayne's video for John :

Da Southern Boyz - Thug Kracka
(From Youtube; 2008)



(Not to be confused with the other Southern Boyz or the Durty South Boyz of Watch Me Throw It AKA the Mike Vick song fame.)

It's not like the newfangled batch of southern-saltines like Yelawolf, White and Rittz don't each have their respective merits but, ultimately, they're all lacking in the BacoFoil jewellery 'n' Southpole jhorts moonshine-rap rowdiness of Thug Kracka which was pioneered back in 2000 on T-Bo & Mike Da Hustla's Baton Rogue underground classic Who Dem Boys? album, with Bad Ass White Boyz being rap's 2nd grandest Drag 'Em In The River homage after Juve's Set It Off :

T-Bo & Mike Da Hustla ft. S.C.C - Bad Ass White Boyz
(From Who Dem Boys?; 2000)



Streetz is still waitin' on a remastered 10th anniversary reissue of Who Dem Boys? with liner notes by Dave Tompkins and Percy Miller, plus a CD-ROM of the content from Mike Da Hustla's now-extinct Geocities page.

Saturday 23 July 2011

R.I.P Amy Winehouse

"It's only a moment of time before the dime bag reaches my pipe line, baby..."

Yelawolf - Heroine
(From Stereo; 2008)



Nevermind, eh? On the plus side of things, at least this girl who appeared as a recent Street Boner is still alive for those of us with a penchant for ratty Jewish broads with horsey faces, ghastly tattoos, questionable hygeine and Herpes :

Thursday 21 July 2011

Did the Bay just pwn Chicago?

"I see why n*ggas fuck with the funk, I like that shit!"



Two recent examples of Bay rappers using funk rekkidz far more successfully than their Chi-Town bredren :

DB Tha General - Lil' Child
(From The King Of Oakland; 2011)



Sample : Little Child Runnin' Wild by Curtis Mayfield
Better than : Flashing Lights by KanYe West ft. Dwele

Alright, so Flashing Lights uses as miniscule a snippet of Little Child Runnin' Wild as is technologically possible but it is ensconced in there somewhere according to WhoSampledWho, and, while this is undoubtedly a better song than KanYe's 2 other middling joints to utilise Mayfield breaks, it's aged poorly like everything else from Graduation bar 3 songs, whilst DB Tha General's Lil' Child here is awash with that the yellow suit on the cover of Curtis swag. Looks like DB's The King Of Oakland is the latest sufferer of $tarlito-Syndrome, a debilitating condition which afflicts rap releases that haven't yet leaked online and are only currently available in exchange for actual money near-invisible to the blogosphere/message boards, with other recent sufferers including G-Side's The One... Cohesive album.

NhT Boyz - Paid
(From Comin' Soon; 2011)



Sample : Ain't That (Mellow Mellow) by Willie Hutch
Better than : All I Do by Rhymefest

I've been known to bump All I Do alongside a couple of other Rhymefest songs, and you can't help but applaud any rapper who could catch a brick with an album that was A&R-ed by the combined commercial forces of KanYe and Mark Ronson in 2006, but he's just such a miserable everyman whose music is often encumbered with grumpy earnestness and the ridiculous notion of "saving the culture" that I can't help but smite that sour old ham 'n' egger here. The NhT Boyz's Comin' Soon zip file of random leaked songs didn't bring the barrage of funnies and Mob Figaz guest appearances that their Power Triangle mixtape did, but, nonetheless, Paid is a 5 Star General banger and even a couple of benders like Charles Hamilton and Big Sean could drop a duo-joint which rivals Life's A Bitch or Elevators (Me & You) over this Willie Hutch classic from the Foxy Brown OST.

Tuesday 19 July 2011

Wanted dead or alive # 7 : the O.G version of Dark Days, Bright Nights



O Bubba, Bubba, wherefore art thou original independent Newtown Records version of your debut with the racially ambiguous picture on the cover (you might be Hispanic!) before you were scooped up by Timbaland and your album was re-released on his Beat Club imprint with a bunch of new joints produced by him and Organized Noize?

I tried copping this off Amazon once but the mook who sold it me just sent the Timbaland version and I've never come across it to download. The majority of the songs from the indie release actually made it to the major label version and Handle Of Beam was a bonus track on the European CD, but there's 6 lost joints in Hungry, Truth Of The Matter, Wigged Out, Run'n Wit Bubba, Godfather and Kuntry Folks on the original, with the latter being the only I've ever been able to find online :

Bubba Sparxxx ft. Duddy Ken - Kuntry Folks
(From Dark Days, Bright Nights O.G version; 2000)



As far as country-rap tunes by Bubba & Duddy Ken from the indie version go, this is way better than Takem' To The Water which did make the Timbo release's tracklist, and, as mentioned previously, rap is the only genre of music which can rehabilitate an instrument which embodies everything terrible about white ppl musik such as the acoustic guitar. I might try and compile a great rap songs which use acoustic-guitar mix CD-R with this and Deliverance by Bubba, I Got A Story To Tell by Biggie, Ayo For Yayo by Andre Nickatina, Sickness by Concentration Camp, The Payback and Vendetta Memphis Sessions mix by AZ, All Falls Down by KanYe, In Da Wind by Trick Daddy et al, Ride Down The Highway by Yelawolf, Fa My N*ggaz and Dreganomics by Mac Dre, Leather So Soft by Baby & Wayne, Right Now by Devin, Barney by Jacka and, um, that's all I can think of at the moment.

Anybody got a copy of the O.G Bubba jawn then? I'm particularly interested in hearing the track by the name of Wigged Out.

Monday 18 July 2011

Salmon and Spag' Bol'

Skimming through some old copies of XXL, I came across the issue when G. Dep's "shit, I was born ready, and I was already on fish and spaghetti" line from Let's Get It received the Step Your Rhyme Game Up award of the month and was reminded of that recent Bounce Squad and Black Rob joint where B.R homaged it during the intro :

The Bounce Squad ft. Black Rob - Live At The State Building
(From It's Always Sunny In New York; 2011)



So necessary since there's always been a burning void deep within my soul just waiting for a song where Snaggapuss references 2 Girls & 1 cup over J. Beez Comin' Through (Bonus Beats) to seal it with some audio asphault.

I have a really bad feeling that No Fear, Up North and this are going to be leap years better than anything on Rob's imminent Game Tested, Street Approved album because every Duck Down album since 2005 other than the underated Heltah Skeltah LP has been cursed by the death of tepid, tinpot production. But, then, that's probably a smidgen unfair since J. Beez Comin' Through (Bonus Beats) is only the best stand-alone instrumental in the history of recorded rap musik to date and after you've rapped over that then it can only downhill from there on in, no matter how much great music you make thereafter, right?

Jungle Brothers - J. Beez Comin' Through (Bonus Beats)
(From What "U" Waitin' "4"? 12"; 1989)

Friday 15 July 2011

The magic number : Baton Rogue edition



A 3 song epilogue to the Concentration Camp compilation on some ‘..and here's what they did next!’ type shiznit.

Max Minelli ft. Mystikal - Thug Thang remix
(From I'm All I Got; 2003)



AKA the proto-Lugerian galumpher with the "I'm so cool I walk slanted like fat people's shoes" line from Max's Me And My Hustle debut which was then enhanced by a Mystikal guest verse on the remix from his I'm All I Got sophomore effort. Rap songs with baronial synthesized tuba operating as a tank looking for a battlefield to roll on are always welcome in this here kingdom, but the Thug Thang remix is only that album's second best track after Martorialist favourite My First Verse.

Lava House & Lil' Boosie - Bow Ya Head (Real Shit)
(From United We Stand, Divided We Fall; 2006)



Before the national success of Zoom and the Wipe Me Down remix, Boosie would spend the downtime between his masterpieces with Webbie recording co-billed projects alongside local Baton Rogue groups like the South Coast Coalition album that featured the Ecko headbands 'n' moonshine whigga-rap classic Murder Man Dance, and the compilation with the Lava House collective which this cut is taken from. The single Do The Ratchet is the go-to joint off this album, but Bow Ya Head (Real Shit) is its sad-rap classic and since Boosie never rapped over any Isaac Hayes, the ersatz computerized Do Your Thing horns on this will have to suffice as the next best thing.

C-Loc ft. Max Minelli & Young Ready - Drop Your Nuts
(From Tha Camp.. Break It Off; 2007)



Consistency is the key word with this one : it picks up right where the last Concentration Camp album Thuggin' From The Inside left off, Boosie may have long since departed for pastures Trill Fam but his spirit still lingers since the song is named after one of his favourite aphorisms and, much like the most illuminating 'net discussion of the Concentration Camp albums is found in old Amazon reviews, the Break It Off album Drop Your Nuts comes from is best documented online with a MySpace review by an autistic gentleman called FrankieThaLuckyDog who charged $15 per post. I'd try and procure his services for some guest posts, but a quick Google search reveals that Frankie has now moved on to the more prestigous world of vlogging.

Thursday 14 July 2011

Ayo fellow DB Tha General fans



DB Tha General - Upgrade Um 2
(From The King Of Oakland; 2011)



You'ze fucken' goonz do realise that The King Of Oakland is out now on Amazon and Steve Jobs' website, right? I've been soaking it up the past couple of days and can report that the self-styled "Bay Area Lil' Boosie" is now a resounding 2 for 2 as far as stellar 2011 projects go, and OG Music needs to be its first de facto single after the promo mini-movie :

DB Tha General - OG Music
(From The King Of Oakland; 2011)



I'm thinking DB needs to embrace the disco wave for the video, only with a Bay Area mobb musik twist, so instead of glass-bottomed platform shoes with goldfish swimming in them, he'd have piranhas swimming in the air bubbles on a pair of Jordan IIIs.

Go forth and cop the album with the knowledge that this, the title track, Devilz, DB's World, Lil' Child, Upgrade Um 2 and This Ain't No Song join Young OG II mixtape joints like Murda, B Aware, Danger Zone, Young OG, Bury Mutafuckas and Rockin' In Ma Blues in being as good as gangsta-rap by a gentleman who sounds like he's pinching his nostrils with his forefingers gets in 2011, and then puhleez tell me what the hell the sample on OG Music is.

Wednesday 13 July 2011

Yes we can scan

Here's the 3 page Hip Hop Memories piece from The Source's 50th issue in november 1993 where various rap luminaries including Chuck D, DJ Red Alert, Scarface, Posdnuos and Maseo, DJ Quik, Russell Simmons, all 3 members of Run Dmc, 2pac, Funkmaster Flex, Common, Nelson George, Sir Mix-A-Lot and Source writers like Jon Shecter, James Bernard and Reginald C Dennis picked their favourite rap album, single and memory. Click to resize :





Too $hort choosing Spoonin' Rap as his favourite rap single is a personal highlight, Luke reminiscing about getting blown on stage is probably the grandest memory and it comes as no surprise that a raging narcissist like KRS would plump for Criminal Minded as his bestest rap album evah imo, but who knew Crazy Legs held Sex And Violence in such high esteem or that Kool Keith and Kool G. Rap's favourite albums were Mecca And The Soul Brother and The Chronic, respectively?

Seems fitting to post this today because I'm off to see Ice Cube and Naughty By Nature tonight. Here's hoping Naughty don't get ideas that anyone wants to hear anything from their catalogue post-1993 and that Cube is sensible enough to draw a line in his set list after the Westside Connection album unless he's planning to do a medley of his verses from Game Over, The Geto, Connected For Life and the Bad Day, Worst Day remix.

Also :



:-(

Tuesday 12 July 2011

The bi-monthly N.W.A-related post

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Monday 11 July 2011

Reasons why I love Youtube # 13

On rest of internesk you have to find movies yourself, but on Youtube, Soviet Russia funded Czechoslovakian 60s sci-fi movie that Alex Cox wrote about in The Guardian a couple of weeks back in his Rockets from Russia: great Eastern Bloc science-fiction films piece finds you! Cox's whole essay was fascinating but it was his talk of Jindrich Polák's Icarus XB 1 (also known as Ikarie XB 1 in eastern Europe and Voyage To The End Of The Universe in America, where it was colourised and apparently butchered with an alternate ending) that piqued my interest with the description of it as a bizarre 60s loose-in-space "high-art" sci-fi movie that "anticipated Solaris" and which features "a derelict spacecraft, inhabited by something so strange I can only say it seems to have drifted in from a Buñuel film." Here it is on the 'tube in its entirety as one easily digestable 1:22:48 chunk of a video :



(Click CC for the English subtitles if they're not already working.)

Look to Cox's words in The Guardian piece as the definitive love letter to Icarus XB 1 'cause I'm just bloggin', my G, but, whoa, this flick really is a sight to behold, and I'll make like Herzog if this wasn't as big an influence on the cream of 70s American sci-fi like Alien and John Carpenter's Dark Star as Cox suggests it was on Solaris and that ridiculously overrated pretty picture by the tubby geezer with the beard who was responsible for the worst Auteurist film in American movie history with Eyes Wide Shut until it was usurped from its position in the U-bend by The Tree Of Life.

Another reason why The Guardian should banish Laura Barton from the Film & Music supplement for good is the space she currently occupies could also be used for a more regular missives by Alex Cox. Isn't Barton an entity far more evil than Rebekah Brooks when her articles about shitty indie albums and why earnestness in music is a good thing are taking precedence over Cox's essays such as the ten greatest Spaghetti-Western death scenes and his tribute to Dennis Hopper with the story that John Wayne once wanted to kill Hopper after hearing a rumour he was a Commie or my proposed weekly concurrent columns by Anne Billson and David Thomson? Moreover, isn't The Guardian wilfully employing Tanya Gold a journalistic crime far more dastardly and offensive than the News Of The World hacking into the voicemails of Milly Dowler, the murdered Soham girls, 7/7 victims, Susie Lamplugh, Jamie Bulger, the anorexic bloke from the Manic Street Preachers, Lord Lucan, the 1986 Challenger space shuttle astronauts, D.B. Cooper, 2pac & Biggie, Red Rum and my pal's cat, Tiger, who vanished without trace when he went on holiday back in 1996?

Friday 8 July 2011

Sick 'em, Earl

Double page spread of Phunk Phat Graph-X designed Sick Wid' It album adverts from The Source's 100th issue in 1997 :



That Southwest Riders album doesn't quite live up to its cover despite the fact that it's a trans-coastal double CD compilation which features 1997 regional gangsta-rap royalty like E-40, Celly Cel, 3X Krazy, WC, Twista, Tela, Mystikal, Master P & Silkk, Brotha Lynch Hung, Three 6 Mafia etc because, well, how can any music possibly rival a stagecoach rollin' on solid gold wheels the size of Droop-E and D-Shot? That's a vehicle which manages to juxtapose classic American utilitarianism with ancient Egyptian ostentatiousness, dah-ling. The album's most known songs would be the two singles, Yay Deep by E-40 & B-Legit with Richie Rich and Represent by A-1, but its choicest cuts were found elsewhere on the two discs in amongst the joints by SWI weed carriers like The Mossie and Mr Malik :

Luniz - Capable
(From Southwest Riders; 1997)



San Quinn & Messy Marv - Playa Haters
(From Southwest Riders; 1997)



UGK - Hiside
(From Southwest Riders; 1997)



8Ball & MJG - N*ggas Talk Shit
(From Southwest Riders; 1997)



The Luniz and 8Ball & MJG joints are both particularly great as I'm sure you'll agree, but the highlight of that batch would have to be Bun's "'cause a pussy ain't nothin' but my hand with a face" line on the UGK cut; a lyric so magnanimously misogynistic it could even make Suga Free pull the "yo, I wish I'd written that one" face. By my reckoning E-40 and Suga Free have only recorded together twice and '40 has rapped over DJ Quik production just the once on the Quarterbackin' remix so Sug' & Quik's rumoured Street Gospel II reunion album would be the perfect opportunity to right both wrongs and '40 is their most obvious spiritual soulmate since he's another one of west coast gangsta-rap's great eccentrics, as well as the owner of the most risqué rap song of 2011 thus far on some Biggie - 1, E-40 - 2 type shit :

E-40 - Me And My Bitch
(From Revunue Retrievin' : Overtime Shift; 2011)



TheSinglesJukebox.com's double-whammy of blanking Me And My Bitch and then not utilising Tray in the team who reviewed Beat Of My Drum by Nicola Roberts forced me to forever remove that site from my bookmarks. Fuck y'all.

Wednesday 6 July 2011

Married to Da Mob



Everybody eats, B, so I got my piece of the pie and wrote about Da Mob by Husalah for HL's series where various rap bloggaz pick their favourite rap song of 2011 thus far over at Droptops & Stacey Lattisaw Tapes. A timely choice since it was officially Mac Dre Day yesterday, and, as the post explains, there really couldn't be a better salutation to Andre Hicks than Da Mob.

Here's another great 2011 Husalah appearance on the Mob Figaz posse cut from AP.9's latest double disc album :

AP.9 ft. Mob Figaz - Gone Head
(From Relentless; 2011)



Gone Head feels mad triumphant and so it should since a group as fragmented as the Mob somehow managing to get organised to drop 3 songs as a group so far in '011 and even rope C-Bo in for their reunion album had looked about as likely as D.O.C's voice suddenly returning or a Big Sean song which doesn't make you want to take a shower afterwards to rid yourself of its stench.

Monday 4 July 2011

Hoes down, shoes up

In short, Treal Lee & Prince Rick's more aggressive addendum to JR Writer's Grill 'Em, the logical conclusion to the ethos espoused on their own Throwed Off (Fuck Everybody), and one of the handful of hitherto-unfilmed joints left on their mixtape with DJ Fletch (my 2nd favourite 'tape of 2011 to date after The Young O.G II by DB Tha General) that should've been added to its already vast arsenal of viral-video singles before they began the inevitable process of releasing new material which just isn't half as good :

Treal Lee & Prince Rick - Shoes Up
(From Throwed Off mixtape; 2011)



The way the song deviates from the topic of picking fights with clumsy club-goers to talk of Lee and Rick being "motherfuckin' killers" who'll "leave a n*gga body on the side of the highway" on the way home is somewhat reminiscent of how The Next Karate Kid with Hilary Swank suddenly broke sinister-but-ultimately-harmless-alpha-male-villains Karate Kid movie protocol when Michael Ironside's Colonel Dugan character insists that his Alpha Elite fraternity soljas start catching bodies at the docks. Here at The Martorialist we don't advocate club violence until the point when some juiced-up, shaven ape of a bouncer is attempting to drag you out for star-jumping off the bar and landing on a table of people when the DJ plays Just Like Paradise by David Lee Roth, but if some ham-hoofed oaf happens to smear the toebox of your shoe with their footprint earlier in the evening then we're firm believers that you should always respond with a move we've dubbed ‘The Carlito’; You know what you won, G? The wet t-shirt contest, mawfucker :



Undoubtedly the finest moment of the Primark Razor Ramon's WWF career.

Saturday 2 July 2011

Re : Agallah # 2

Just copped 2 XXXL Pro Club tall tees and I'm about to get them airbrushed up with the faces of HL and Blast in vivid flange pink and bellend purple coloured paint as a thanks for the hook-up on Agallah's Doomsday mixtape and the additional reporting on related lost Dipset classics. Doomsday is a pretty great 'tape if you're in the mood for some stank NY shit which combines the best facets of All We Got Iz Us-era Onyx with early noughties Dipset weed carrier joints, and the only thing better than discovering one of those songs which makes you feel that you've been living in false happiness without it soundtracking your exploits all the years you were unaware of its existence is also finding out that there's a remix of it featuring Juelz et Jim :

Agallah - Gun Go
(From Doomsday; 2004)



Agallah ft. Juelz Santana & Jim Jones - Gun Go remix
(From Doomsday; 2004)



Undecided on which I prefer currently; is it the original where Agallah rhymes "as far as me, I got the whole kit 'n' caboodle" with "my bitch got rocks 'n' minks and so do the poodle", or is it the remix with Jim has difficulty with Ag's name and calls him "Agg-you-lah"?