One, two - It's Halloween and a Freddy Kruegar fight is due. Three, four - but the Freddy Versus Jason movie was a total bore. Five, six - razor-fingered glove not Razor Ramon with the toothpicks. Seven, eight - but son from Elm Street and Scott Hall are both fond of rape. Nine, ten - so here's a duel between a couple of Freddy-themed songs by some of them Rapping black men :
(From He's The D.J, I'm The Rapper; 1988)
The Fat Boys - Are You Ready For Freddy
(From Coming Back Hard Again; 1988)
I dunno about you, but I score this contest as a tie : Nightmare On My Street is the better song but New Line Cinema had the video Jeff and Will shot for it banned for copyright infringement to the point where it's still sitting decomposing in a vault at Jive today; meanwhile The Fat Boys secured the services of the movie character with the best one-liners of the late 80s in their video for Are You Ready For Freddy after shelling out all the loot they made from their cover versions of Louie Louie and The Twist, thus redeeming a song that's otherwise only notable as an 80s pop-culture curiousity and also reminding us that New Line's hustle with the Freddy brand was tighter than Ol' Baby GAP lookin' ass Theophilus London's 40% spandex blend acid-wash jeans.
No Sparkle & R. Kelly, but be careful when you open the refrigerator tonight, dunns, as you never know what you might find in amongst your stash of chicken caesar wraps and strawberry & banana flavour Innocent smoothies.