Monday, 30 December 2013

Martorialist exclusive: unreleased Nas demo produced by Large Professor!

Firstly, don't get your hopes up because this isn't the fabled Eric B demo (which, let's face it, means it was actually produced by Large Pro) recorded before Live At The BBQ, but another track from the later two song cassette tape demo that also featured Life Is Like A Dice Game which Xtra-P and Nas shopped around to various record labels in 1992. Unsure of the track's title but, essentially, this is yung Nasir exploring The Message's "it's like a jungle sometimes" trope over a typically dense early 90s Large Pro update of Sounds Of The Safari by the Jungle Brothers, and it's absolutely incredible!

Nas & Large Professor - Unreleased 1992 demo track

Sunday, 29 December 2013

Re: the "why doesn't male Rap bloggaz have more female rappaz in their 2013 year end lists?" debate


This is an unexpected twist in the Last Dayz of 2013: being called out by that lad with the often-noted bizarre fetish for Female Rappers™ who writes for such bastions of quality Rap journalism as The Guardian and FACT Magazine. Being that this is the season of goodwill, it's possible to forgive Alex MacPherson for his rather pitiful coverage of modern Rap music in The Guardian even though he's the paper's token ‘urban expert’, and one can even let it slide that MaxPhearson appears to be unfamiliar with this website's stripes in the Rap feminism wars (breaking Katie Got Bandz to the world and causing Das Rapist to break up; highlighting the hypocrisy of fake thinkpiece-feminist careerists like Brendan Soderberg and Kitty Pryde), but unless MacPearson can provide any evidence to the contrary, then Katie Got Bandz was the only Female Rapper™ who released any great music over the past 12 months, bar the guest spots from Trina on Wowzers, Kreayshawn on Pu$$y Magnet, Princess on Call It Like You Want It (an omission from my year end list, tbf) and Nicki Minaj on the otherwise abominable Freaks.

I don't think that's an unreasonable stance to take: Lady and Nicki didn't drop any new songs this year; Gangsta Boo released an ill-advised mixtape of Eternal Sunshine of the European "EDM" producer-Rap which unfortunately had more in common with M.I.A than Mia X; None of Sasha Go Hard's 2013 songs clicked for me and I'm assuming they mustn't have clicked for anyone else either since Sasha ended the year relegated to the Cloud-Rap scrapheap recording tracks with Tumblr flotsam & jetsam like Ryan Hemsworth and Kitty Pryde; Eve was decent over top dollar production in her Ruff Ryders heyday but I'm not really checking for her 13 years later in the same way that I'm not listening to any new music by DMX or Drag-On; LadyKilla by Cocc Pistol Cee was an aiight album deep cut on DJ Mustard's Ketchup but certainly not list-worthy; Lauryn Hill now makes music which sounds like something off Conspiracy SBU's MySpace page; Azelia Banks is on some Rap Game Kelly Brook type shit the way she's a deplorable hack at her profession who's loathed by women and only kept in business by wanking teenage lads; Iggy Azalea is an Australian with a fucking A$AP Rocky tattoo who clearly never received the memo that states Marmaloid is the only Sheila with a Rap pass; Lil' Kim's B.E.T cypher freestyle revealed she's undergone the most bizarre voice transformation since Shyne because she now sounds like J-Zone's alter-ego Chief Chinchilla, which doesn't particularly bode well for any new music from her in 2014; if you're a grown man who's ever sat through a full song by Boosie's rapping pre-teen daughter then you're another Ian Watkins in-waiting, imho; and Angel Haze makes terrible performance art alt-Rap for broadsheet journalists with double-barreled names, gender politics students, and other assorted demographics of mollycoddled posh people who'd turn their noses up at Pussy.

Naturally, Brendan Soderberg also chimed in on the matter by peddling his usual "HEY GIRLS, I'M NOT LIKE THESE OTHER ICKY-WICKY-STICKY-PRICKY GUYS!" blowhard routine in the vain hope some naive 21 year old writing major from Nebraska who's just moved to D.C will buy into his faux-Captain Save-A-Girl's-Feelings shtick and travel to Baltimore to have sympathy-sex with him. Das Rapist's BFF Soderberg is such a brain dead stoner troglodyte that he's probably already forgotten he broke kayfabe a couple of months back by flipping from Duckie into Steff the moment Katherine St. Asaph exposed him as a lying sack of shit and then spent the next 48 hours bullying her on Twitter and the ILX message board as she repeatedly begged him to leave her alone. Evidently, Soderberg views women's feelings as little more than an instrument to be brought into use when writing lyricism sexism is back! essays for SPIN or angling for retweets from Maura Johnson on Twitter, and "SPIN's Hip Hop Writer" doesn't give a flying fuck about Female Rappers™ at all according to his his 2013 album list.

Saturday, 28 December 2013

An Englishman in Akron, Ohio

Raps set to ‘mainey but vulnerable’, Kenny G saxophone set to ‘emotionally stunted’, yup, it can only be my favourite track from that Young Bossi & Joe Blow album which seems to have slipped through the cracks of the Rap-internet now Thomas is no longer writing about new music:

Young Bossi & Joe Blow ft. Ampichino - Crazy World
(From FishscaleBlow album; 2013)


Always the Herr Flick to Young Bossi's Von Smallhausen, Ampichino steals the song with his guest verse which includes to a reference to Ken Shamrock, a boast about how bullets from his fo' will turn your 'fro to a flat-top, and the sort of unfurling storytelling about the consequences of crime that's reminiscent of classic Ice-T. Bravo, old bean.

Friday, 27 December 2013

A non-2013 Rap songs I discovered in 2013 compilation 4 u

One last compilation for 2013 consisting of a bunch of Rap songs that aren't from this year but which charmed the socks offa me over the past 12 months. Some of them I'd never heard before and some of them I had heard before but just never realised how good they were for some stupid reason. If you're one of the three people who put me onto four of these songs then give yourself a round of smug applause and major props to I-can't-say-who for gettin' me you-know-what.

The Martorialist - Lucky 2013 compilation

1. Skull Duggery ft. Mystikal - Satisfied (1998)
2. Yungstar ft. Lil' Flex - Knockin' Pictures remix (2002)
3. Grip Plyaz - I Got What You Need (2012)
4. Agallah - Let's Get High (2001)
5. Mista Madd ft. Slim Thug & Yungstar - Down South (1999)
6. Spoony G - Ohwhoahhhh (2011)
7. M.I.C (Lil' Chris) - Same Shit Different Day (2012)
8. Kevin Gates ft. Max Minelli - They Can Hate (2011)
9. Yungstar ft. Lil' James, Lil' Flex & Pooh-Bear - Screens "R" Fallin' (2000)
10. Agallah - Rap Bobby Fischer (2010)
11. Big Kuntry King - Still Kuntry (2003)
12. HD Of Bearfaced - 40 Glock User remix (2012)
13. Uncle Murda - Take Care Of The Witness (2008)
14. Spoonie Gee - Street Girl (7" radio edit) (1985)
15. Trai'D - Sex Pill (2008)
16. Mannie Fresh ft. Jay Ant - Heal The World (2012)
17. DJ Drama ft. Travis Porter & Kirko Bangz - Real N*ggas In The Building (2012)
18. Fed Da Sneak ft. Stu Hustlah & AG - Oooooooooo (2012)
19. Mystery Artist - Mystery Song (????)
20. DB Tha General - Ima Get It (2008)

~~~> DOWNLOAD HERE <~~~

Make sure you hit up all your buddies on Friends Reunited and Faceparty and tell 'em ya boy Mess Marvell right chea just dropped 20 gems on 'em.

Thursday, 26 December 2013

Cheapest thing I got on is the bitch on my dick!

I really hope FrankieThaLuckyDog doesn't retire from writing about Louisiana Rap in 2014 because the kid has an unfuckwithable ear for finding these amazing cuts by Baton Rogue baggage handlers that are practically untouched by the rest of the internet; take Dope Boi Swag by 31st Deedy with Savage & Ree Up, which I'd probably have never have heard had it not been featured on Frankie's last Louisiana Archives compilation: the much underrated Savage goes mini-Mouse On Tha Track on 'em and transforms a deep cut by another Young Ready weed carrier and one of the Bad Azz Entertainment underlings who probably used to iron Boosie's Adidas sweatsuits into the hardest Baton Rogue anthem since Mind Right.

"Dirty Sprite in my cup, dirty money in my pocket
Just got me a plug, but I don't need a socket"


31st Deedy ft. Savage & Ree Up - Dope Boi Swag
(From Street Lights Episode 2 mixtape; 2013)

Tuesday, 24 December 2013

R.I.P FrankieThaLuckyDog??

OH MAH GAWD, KING! The blawg overlawd FrankieThaLuckyDog just went thermonuclear on the Rap-internet and announced his retirement from the mixtape and (possibly?) blogging game. Peep the outro from Frankie's latest and final mixtape for 2013's most eviscerating monologue; "TALK TO 'EM, 'PAC!"

FrankieThaLuckyDog - Outro (Final Message)
(From Tha Louisiana Archives Vol. 16: …Tha End? mixtape; 2013)


Dook throws the baby out with the bath water by calling out Baton Rouge rappers for being too cheap to pay him $20 to book spots on his Louisiana Archives mixtapes before launching into a tirade which takes in the luh he's spread, the amount of unwarranted likes Mista Cain gets on Facebook, his current preference for Gunplay & 2 Chainz over any rappers from Louisiana, Baton Rouge artists not travelling to see him in Philadelphia, and rappers who fuck up their careers by becoming fathers too early!


Never forget Frankie has been writing about Kevin Gates for at least 4 years, before casting your attention to Gates' Wikipedia page where you'll notice that hack-savant rapist-apologist Brendan Soderberg frantically editing the career section to make it appear as if his SPIN coverage in 2013 was responsible for Gates blowing up. Obviously we're not ones to gossip or shit stir here at The Martorialist, but even (former?) SPIN editor Chris Weingarten finds Soderberg's weaselly actions on this matter nauseatingly hilarious.

Sunday, 22 December 2013

Kinda late pass!

Is it just me or did Kid Capri transform Busta & Q-Tip's pretty good Thank You into a possible classic by doing his thang on top of it? Capri was born to shout stuff over Disco breakbeats, thus the mixtape remix of Thank You where he embellishes the song with his own brand of colour commentary goes so much harder than the original version. SWITCH!!!


Busta Rhymes ft. Q-Tip, Lil' Wayne & KanYe West - Thank You Kid Capri remix
(From The Abstract & The Dragon mixtape; 2013)


Wish Capri had also been featured on that other 2013 Thank You Disco-sample joint by an ageing N.Y rapper.

Saturday, 21 December 2013

Who dat who dat who dat who dat who?

Stuff you can learn from messing around on Spotify when gripped by insomnia: there's another Young Thug who released an album in 2010 with a title that's remarkably similar to some Young Thug odds 'n' sods compilation on Datpiff! At least, I'm assuming it's a different Young Thug since the album is almost entirely Google-proof with regards to any information about it and this breh neither sounds nor looks like like Young Thug circa 2010. Who dat? Ummm, it looks like Chance The Rapper on a work experience placement at his local bakery:


Anyhoo, ya boy Patrick ST 2 Lettaz Michel right chea liked this song from the album enough to cop an MP3 of it because duuk rhymes like the Georgian JR Writer and his "AYO!" ad lib after kicking a heterosexually-questionable lyric is probably the longest "AYO!" you'll ever heard in a Rap song. Also digging that the fella who sings the hook could pass for Holly Johnson from Frankie Goes To Hollywood and how the breakdowns which accompany the hook even sound like they're from a song on the first Frankie album if it'd been produced by Foghorn Leghorn rather than Trevor Horn:

Young Thug - I Know Tha Drought
(From Life Of A Thug album; 2010)

Thursday, 19 December 2013

Generic list post: bestest Rap songs evah!!!

Rap blog law dictates any site which lasts longer than three years has to drop a self-absorbed vanity list of their favourite Rap songs ever at least once before they depart this textual coil, usually on a day when they can't be arsed formulating their thoughts to post anything else. If I've gotta pick the jams I'd stick on a CD-R to take with me to a desert island, please believe these are ones I'm burning onto that damn thing:

Brand Nubian - Step To The Rear (1990)
Webbie - Porch (2003)
Lil' Boosie - Trouble Man (2005)
Doug E. Fresh ft. MC Ricky D - La Di Da Di (1985)
Ice-T - Drama (1988)
MF DOOM - Rhymes Like Dimes (1999)
Geto Boys - My Mind's Playing Tricks On Me (1991)
AZ - Doe Or Die (1995)
Juvenile - Solja Rag (1997)
The Diplomats - Dipset Anthem (2003)
ByrdGang - Anniversary (2007)
Suga Free - Why U Bullshittin'? (1997)
Eric B. & Rakim - Lyrics Of Fury (1988)
OutKast ft. Slick Rick - Da Art Of Storytellin' remix (1998)
Khayree ft. Mac Dre - Back 2 My Mission (1997)
Z-Ro - Respect My Mind (2005)
Spoonie Gee - Love Rap (1980)
M.O.P ft. Kool G. Rap - Stick To Ya Gunz (1996)
Young Bleed - Stamp On It (2011)
Ice Cube - Once Upon A Time In The Projects (1990)
N.W.A - Real N*ggaz Don't Die (1991)
Black Rob - Whoa (2000)

New rule for 2014: anybody who doesn't know where the line "it'll be 3 n***as clappin' but we ain't applaudin' you mothafuckas" comes from probably shouldn't be allowed to pontificate about Rap on the internet.

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Is dis the illest blogger in Nebraska?

Hallelujah, something good has finally sprung forth from the embarrassment that is the success of Que's OG Bobby Johnson aka the song which will hopefully go down in the record books as the Compredator to Sh!t's Let The Rhythm Hit 'Em: its beat has been stretched and then pulverised into something way more bombastic on the first King Louie song I've liked since Michael Jordan:

"Lord forgive me, gotta pray
Left all that ammo in my prey"


King Louie - Again
(From Drilluminati 2 mixtape; 2013)


On the other hand, the less said about King Louie's decision to flagrantly bite a gimmick Future already put to bed 2 years ago on the Tony track John Monopoly & Lawless Inc are pushing as Louie's next single, the better. And people wonder why Katie Got Bandz has slowly morphed into Lawless' marquee act this year! Sad thing is, Louie's pidgin South American accent could've made a killer concept song with Tony if he'd have just replaced the word "Tony" with "Lulu" during its hook.

Depressing to see all these rappers STILL caught up on the Scarface hamster wheel in 2013 when they now have their own Rapsplotation movie history they should be celebrating instead. One day somebody will record a Rap song in the patois of Shameek from Belly's Ike Love alias and it will be a glorious year zero. Until then, R.I.P Big Head Rico; may you get your hair did by angels in Heaven's answer to Toni & Guy.

Tuesday, 17 December 2013

We got necks!

Developin' a mild obsession with Stu Hustlah like nothin' since dude is really good at making the sort of wistful mob musik which makes you feel sadder than a basset hound's face:

"Put you n*ggas on ice
Fuck a price, Ima do it for the stripes"


Stu Hustlah - Oh Soo Hard
(From It's Me album; 2013)


Legal issues mean that we're pro'lly never going to see the mythical video footage of Game wearing 50's stolen basketball hoop as a chain, so Stu has elevated the neckwear game to new levels for all Gang$ta-Rappers with an outfit that's vaguely reminiscent of DJ Hot Day on the PHD album cover:


May Apollo grant my man The Spartorialist a million Nicoletta Machiavelli lookalikes in Hades for making me this GIF.

Monday, 16 December 2013

Reasons why I love YouTube # 53

Here's a very entertaining short movie from the Rock Steady Crew's Popmaster Fabel about the vicious cycle of STICK UP KIDZ JUST OUT TO TAX in ersatz-olde New York. Highlights include: the whole thing being set to Ultimate Breaks & Beats classics by Heatwave, Johnny Pate, Chicago Gangsters etc; a heap of Lee, Kangol, Pro-Keds, Bally, and Puma gear gettin' snatched right offa folks heads, bodies and feet; and random shots of rats crawling over litter to gnaw at uneaten food for that maximum cinéma vérité swag:


Firm but brief manly handshake to Eard Money aka The Rap Game Claire Cooney for linking me to this.

Late pass!

As recommended by Bl'ast!master, here's a good lil' rootin' tootin' deep cut from one of Block Beattaz's new stock of Huntsville rappers. Haven't road-tested this yet, but it passed the late-night card game test all Country-Rap jams are subjected to with flying colours:


"Puttin' up numbers and end up losin', your career is Elton Brand
You're the n***a at the beach who decided to bring sand"


Grilly - Stankin' Lankin'
(From Pour A Player Up mixtape; 2013)


As enjoyable as Stankin' Lankin' already is, Mali Boi from Block Beattaz should call in favours from GMane and Jackie Chain for a Huntsville all star remix so it can have a chance to soar or, at the very least, pull in more than 33 views on YouTube.

Sunday, 15 December 2013

Dexter WHOMPsel

How did I not know there was a video full of dancing yung white ppl for Fiend & Mouse's Lil' Sumptin' (aka the song which originally went by the slightly less savoury title of Slap That Bitch when it debuted on N.O. To The B.R. Volume 10 in late 2012) until a couple of days ago? Notable for all Louisiana Rap mavens because it marks the last recorded appearance of Mouse's dreadlocks in a video before he had them chopped off (VERY HISTORIC MOMENT!), and great news for everybody else because it gives me another chance to link my Mouse On Tha Track compilation where you can find an MP3 of it:

Fiend ft. Mouse On Tha Track - Lil' Sumptin'
(From Lil' Ghetto Boy mixtape; 2013)


BTW, did none of you mawf**kers notice that Mouse produced a track for DB Tha General a couple of weeks back? It's not a particularly great song, nor was it totally unexpected since Mouse has spread his wings beyond the B.R to knock out beats for Fiend, Killa Kyleon, Rocko, Juvenile, and BeatKing over the past year and change, but it's worth highlighting its existence. Man, Rap geeks waited 14 years for a new collaboration between the Bay & Baton Rogue and then along come a DB song produced by Mouse and an E-40 joint featuring Webbie in the space of a fortnight.

Friday, 13 December 2013

Mistakes of a world in love with the wrong song

Hey young world and Rap industry, you already done f**ked up once this year by sleepin' on Chinx Drugz's How Can I Lose? when it should have been bigger than anything from the crappy French Montana album, please don't make that mistake again by pushing Feelings from Chinx's new EP when Tell 'Em is so obviously, as Mark from Peep Show would say, the one:

Chinx Drugz - Tell 'Em
(From I'll Take It From Here EP; 2013)


This shit is a potential anthem of the Dis Ain't What U Want calibre in-waiting. Besides, Kwony Cash already made the best Feelings song of the year...OF THE YEAR!

Thursday, 12 December 2013

Rap Game lol Simon Reynolds Hauntology article

Here's another great Murdergang cut that's got me drooling like Vice's Luke O'Neil was over the clearly underage Kitty Pryde. Fed, Stu, & AG (no, not him and not him either, thankfully) all bring the recommended levels of world-weary mobishness that a beat which sounds a RobLo remix of Chinx Drugz's Superlight requires, and the song comes with more 15th letters of the alphabet than even De La could've possibly conceived:

"Blood thicker than water, I wish a n*gga oughta"

Fed Da Sneak ft. Stu Hustlah & AG - Oooooooooo
(From Bubble Off A Struggle album; 2011)


Because this beat is just too weird for words to adequately describe, ya boy Agallah The John Doran right chea dusted off the trusty Martorialist audio-to-image converter again and this is what it spat out as Oooooooooo's most accurate match:

Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Marci D'Arcy

You can't drop science without a little chemistry as the adage almost goes, thus, out of all the guests on Roc Marciano's new compilation type thingymebob Marci Beaucoup, the rapper who sounds most at home bending the rules of the English language in Marciano's universe of nonchalant snarls 'n' atomized snares is Alchemist's current muse Boldy James. Their duet Trying To Come Up is some contemporary grainy Rap-Noir for those of us who wear camouflage Carhartt boxers under our slightly-sagged Cupro lined Thom Browne wool slacks as we pound the aisles of Waitrose on the hunt for fresh smoked salmon:

Roc Marciano ft. Boldy James - Trying To Come Up
(From Marci Beaucoup album; 2013)



Quite like the comparison being bandied about that Marci Beaucoup is Marciano's version of DOOM's King Gheedorah album since there's a couple of uncanny song-to-song parallels: Drug Lords with Roc's weed carrier who sounds like he picked his Rap moniker from a comedy Wu-Tang name generator is its equivalent of Anti-Matter with Mr Fantastik, whilst Psych Ward is tantamount to the album's Next Levels since it sees a remarkable beat ruined by Alchemist's Kelly Brook-reading-autocue soundin' ass dulcet tones in much the same way those Scienz Of Life dullards stunk up DOOM's former Arrow Root instrumental on the Gheedorah LP.

Tuesday, 10 December 2013

Rockmaster Rasheed ain't bring that heat

Spent the last hour goin' in on the new trifecta of E-40 Block Brochure albums with the plan to post something from them, but nowt was particular grabbing me so ya boy gave up and decided to throw 43 on repeat instead. 6 plays in a row later, it feels like the right decision for tonight.

"Keep a banger in the peacoat
A stack of c-notes
Lil' n*ggas on the look out, that's child support"


E-40 ft. B-Legit - 43
(From Revenue Retrievin': Graveyard Shift album; 2011)


Yo, how the frigging Hell did Rap go from a singles genre to one where artists drop 3 albums in a single day? New rule for 2014: rappers are only allowed to drop full lengths if they include interludes where Big Tigger yaps to pretend-radio callers over Mannie Fresh beats.

Big Tigger Live On The Radio (Part 1)
(From Lil' Wayne's 500 Degreez album; 2002)

Monday, 9 December 2013

Wanted dead or alive: Disco Stu # 2

"Time wait for no man, why stare at a clock?
Got my balls & my word and a handheld chop!"


Feddy Da Sneak & Stu Hustlah - Make Me Rich
(From YouTube; 2013)


Found myself sucked deeper into the Murdergang whirlpool this past week and need a quick helping hand: anybody got Feddy Da Sneak & Stu Hustlah's No Spaces album which Make It Rich apparently comes from? Low-rent mob musik slaps over the same Atlantic Starr loop them 213 lads did wonderful things with back in t'day are right up my road, but I cannae find No Spaces anywhere on the 'net for love nor loot. Can anybody hook it up?

BY THE WAY THIS IS CHRIS THOTT aka EVERETT TRU bka TOM BREIHAND OF THE DEAD BODY! NEW NAME KATHERINE ST A$AP N CASE U GOT IT TWISTED!

Saturday, 7 December 2013

Nelson Mandela died the day Del Boy & Rodney left their tower block in Peckham

Never forget the time Biz called him "Melson" Mandela on Erase Racism:

Kool G. Rap & DJ Polo ft. Biz Markie & Big Daddy Kane - Erase Racism
(From Wanted: Dead Or Alive album; 1990)

Friday, 6 December 2013

Obligatory best rap songs of 2013 list

Lucky '13: the year Yelawolf transformed from an ol' Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg lookin' ass whigga to a heavily filtered Instagram picture of Mac Dre.

Dropping this post today so those two French bredders will have time to come through with a couple of zipfiles of all the songs again for doz dat slept. List will be subject to change once the E-40 albums drop/per random outta-the-blue loosies/if King Louie finally unleashes the last few unreleased 2011 Dope & Shrimp cuts on his new mixtape but, for now, these are the songs I ride 4 and I've rode 2 this year, including a couple of cuts I hated at first.

Usual one song per artist rule applies, there's no order of preference although the songs are (loosely) clumped together geographically this year, and the list includes a handful of songs which dropped very late december 2012 but didn't really make a ripple until 2013 so they're eligible for inclusion. Rap & Bullshit jams are also eligible providing the Rap ratio is in balance with the Bullshit ratio. Call it the What's the 411? law:

Uncle Murda ft. Rocko - Wu Wuu Wuuu
AZ - We Movin'
Cam'Ron ft. Sen City - Instagram (Catfish)
A-Mafia - Street Money
Max B - Take A Flick
Chinx Drugz - How Can I Lose?
J-Zone - Crib Issues
Troy Ave - Hot Out
The Lox - Summer's Too Hot
Roc Marciano - Ice Cream Man
Raekwon ft. AZ & Altrina Howard - '86 remix
Busta & Q-Tip ft. Lil' Wayne & KanYe West - Thank You (Kid Capri remix)
Nicki Minaj ft. PTAF - Boss Ass Bitch remix
Meek Mill - Lil' N*gga Snupe
Freeway & The Jacka - Uh Huh
Johnny Cinco - They Gave The Wrong Young N*gga Money
Young Jeezy ft. 2 Chainz - R.I.P
Future - Shit
Travis Porter ft. Jeremih - Err Damn Day
Young Dro - FDB
Hustle Gang ft. Mystikal - Here I Go
Rich Kidz - Trayvon
Rich Homie Quan - Party
Grip Plyaz - Ray Lewis
Rocko ft. Future & Rick Ross - U.O.E.N.O
Gucci Mane - Ring The Alarm
Young Thug - Danny Glover
Rittz - Like I Am
Kap G ft. Young Jeezy - Jose Got Dem Tacos remix
Migos - Hannah Montana
2 Chainz ft. IamSu - Living
Kwony Cash - YNWA
Z-Ro - Look Good
Slim Thug - 84s
Killa Kyleon - Cadillac
BeatKing - IONCAHH
Devin The Dude - Hear The Sound
UGK ft. Lil' Boosie & Big K.R.I.T - Cake
Dorrough Music - After Party
Gunplay - Drop Da Tint
Lil' Durk - 52 Bars Part 2
ZMoney - Regular
Bandman Kevo - Who Is Dat?
KanYe West ft. Charlie Wilson - Bound 2
The Guys - Flee
Giftz - Death Wish
Lil' Herb & Lil' Bibby - Play They Role
P.Rico - Gladiator
Mic Terror - West Coast
Blood Money ft. King Louie - Bitch I'm Crazy
Fredo Santana ft. Blood Money - Take Risks
Lil' Reese ft. Fredo Santana & Lil' Durk - Wassup
King Louie - Again
Katie Got Bandz - Foolish
TREE - Devotion (Get It)
Sicko Mobb - Fiesta
Stalley - Cup Inside A Cup
King Chip - Police In The Trunk
Ampichino ft. Sosa - My Life
Boldy James - Moochie
Doughboyz Cashout & YG - Hella Ice
Danny Brown - Gremlins
Willie The Kid - Sea Foam
Lil' Wayne ft. 2 Chainz - Rich As Fuck
Juvenile - Mind Right
August Alsina ft. Trinidad James - I Luv This Shit
Louis V Mob - Dope Case
Lil' Snupe - Ketchup Intro
Max Minelli - Get Out Yo' Feelins
Kevin Gates - Neon Lights
Mouse On Tha Track ft. Level - Get It Back
Foxx - Ride
Lil' Trill & Shell - Futuristic Lingo
Que Tha Truth - King Tut
Lil' Cali ft. Versey - Pow
Mista Cain ft. DJ B-Real & Young Ready - Mind Right
Spitta ft. Young Ready - Runnin'
Savage - Money Whipped
31st Deedy ft. Savage & Ree Up - Dope Boi Swag
Juicy J - Wax
Project Pat - Where The Fuck?
Yo Gotti ft. Young Jeezy & YG - Act Right
Starlito ft. Don Trip - No Rear View
Starlito & Don Trip - Caesar And Brutus
Jackie Chain ft. Rittz - Trippin'
YG ft. Rich Homie Quan & Young Jeezy - My N*gga
Ty Dolla $ign ft. Joe Mo$e$ - Paranoid (Ketchup version)
Joe Mo$e$ ft. YG - Burn Rubber
TeeFlii ft. Dom Kennedy - Better Know
Dom Kennedy - Nothin' Like Me
Suga Free & Pimpin' Young ft. Nate Dogg - 15 Minutes To 5
DB Tha General - Turnt Out
Rico Tha Kidd ft. DJ Upgrade - Hey Girl
A-Wax - Buffalo Bill
HD Of Bearfaced - No Pretendo
Fe Tha Don ft. HD Of Bearfaced - Lock Me In
E-40 ft. Cousin Fik & Choose Up Cheese - Tree In The Load
Droop-E ft. Nite Jewel & J-Stalin - 'N The Traffic
Joe Blow - Cold Pimp
IamSu & Problem ft. Juvenile & Kool John - 100 Grand remix
HBK Gang - Quit Cattin'
Sage The Gemini - Red Nose
Roach Gigz ft. Kreayshawn - Pu$$y Magnet
Murdergang - Same Position
Feddy Da Sneak ft. Stu Hustlah & Young Bossi - Grind Wit' Cha
Stu Hustlah - Let Off The Strap
Speaker Knockerz ft. Young Dolph & Jose Guapo - Check
Alpoko Don - Street Life

Thursday, 5 December 2013

R.I.P Rich Homie Quan

Rich Homie Quan - Man Of The Year
(From I Promise I Will Never Stop Going In mixtape; 2013)


Taken me a full week to realise why I recoiled in such horror at 1:51 of Rich Homie Quan's Man Of The Year after initially loving how Quan and the track's producer Tramatone flipped the infamous Milkbone/Big L & Jay-Z piano sample and recontextualised it into something uniquely new-new ATLanta: the moment Quan breaks from his flow to start signing "you ain't never met a man like me before.." sounds like Yeltsin Beyonce's warbling on fucking Umi Says.

Ultimate kiss of death for a rapper right there, imho. Had a blast with My N*gga, Differences, Party and Type Of Way this year in that order, but our paths must now diverge for good, Richie bruv.

Wednesday, 4 December 2013

N.Y MIXTAPE RAPPERS NEED NOT BE MORAL!

"The whole point of being a rapper is making your peers say "damn, I wish I'd have said that first!" and making your audience say "damn, I can't believe he just said that!"
-- Ice Cube in some Hip Hop documentary on UK TV back in the early 90s.

Been burrowing my way through Uncle Murda's back catalogue recently to see if there's anything else I like as much as Wu Wuu Wuuu or even I Shot The Sheriff and I Just Shot Him, which are pretty much the only other Murda songs I'm up on aside from his joint with Jay Camel. Typically, the cut I'm digging most is some barely-mastered boopity-boop shit that only lasts a paltry minute and a half, but which transcends such problems with sheer anomie as it taps into a theme previously explored by Jim Jump in King Of New York and Pretty Tone Capone on Case Dismissed:

"I ain't gon' shoot your leg or shoot you in the arm
I might shoot you in the head or shoot your baby moms"


Uncle Murda - Take Care Of The Witness
(From Murda's Muzik II - Return Of The Bad Guy mixtape; 2008)


Why oh why couldn't this be longer, as Son Doobie has probably said to himself on more than one occasion?

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Reasons why I love YouTube # 52

As a companion to that time Foxx, Boosie & Webbie tore up BET Spring Bling 2007 with their performance of the Wipe Me Down remix, here's Boosie & Webbie running through their verses again at Spring Bling 2008 before the dead gawd Lil' Phat joins them onstage for a rendition of Independent. High points are Boosie's Coogi tank-top sweater and Lil' Phat appearing on national TV; low points are Foxx not being invited to perform his own song and various half-wits in the audience half-heartedly dancing because they were too busy filming it on their phones:


To the pressing matter of basic bloggers trumpeting Webbie's mediocre new album after they've blanked Mouse On Tha Track's output in 2013 then. Newly streamlined Mouse rounded up his daughter Prestyn & Level's son B.J, hired a couple of Baton Rogue Twerk Team members, had Level out chea lookin' like the lovechild of Dallas Penn & Julienne Shepherd and then insisted they all had the time of their muhfuckin' lives on camera for the Get It Back video, and you miserable shitbirds were too busy clogging up the u-bend with thinkpieces about Kendrick Lamar and Miley Cyrus to even notice:

Mouse On Tha Track ft. Level - Get It Back
(From YouTube; 2013)


Mouse's daughter dancing >> Boosie's daughter rapping.

R.I.P Fredo Fantano

Please welcome your new host of The Martorialist: Chris Thott!

Monday, 2 December 2013

Ayo TPP

We're never gonna get a Max remake of Get Lucky (Get Sucky?) but this was pretty close:

Jim Jones ft. Fauxrell Williams & Shoota - Get Money (Get Lucky ReVamp)
(From t'internet; 2013)


As one of Thomas Bangalter side-projects nearly once said, all music sounds better with Dipset over it, baaaaby! Thanx to Rey for hippin' me to this one.

Sunday, 1 December 2013

Slangin' humble pie and St. Ides in the same sentence # 2

Ahem, I'd like to sheepishly apologise to Jackie Chain for that time I said his Bruce Lean Chronicles 2 mixtape was lacking in the jam factor. It's still his worst 'tape to date but I've come to the conclusion that Trippin' with Rittz is a CHOON. Ain't gon' lie that doesn't feel more like the property of Rittz than a Jackie Chain song (bump it as a primer to Rittz's Like I Am for best results) and I can't front that it doesn't sound like it was recorded by Madame Fanny from 'Allo 'Allo, but it's still 2013's 2nd best example of Country-Rap gone Wavy after Bye Bitch by Mouse On Tha Track:

Jackie Chain ft. Rittz - Trippin'
(From Bruce Lean Chronicles 2 mixtape; 2013)


I love when Huntsville guys rhyme over samples first used on early noughties N.Y underground cuts and Trippin' is perhaps the most notable case of that yet since it uses the same Dexter Wansel loop famously used on Agallah & Sean P's Rising To The Top and not so famously used on that song from MF Grimm's first album where he tried to sing.

Saturday, 30 November 2013

A mugs love story

Courtesy of Drew Huge, rare cassette-only artwork for Akinyele's debut single The Bomb:


Can't imagine why Interscope wouldn't wanna blow this pic of yung Ak's mug up and slap it on the 12" version too?

Friday, 29 November 2013

That Tara Palmer-Tomkinson

Given that this is the year which has given us R.I.P, I'm 4rm Bompton, My N*gga, Fuck You and Next Bitch, who'd have thunk the best cuts from CTE's #ItsThaWorld 2 EP wouldn't be either of the DJ Mustard productions but a song where Jeezy does hoarse Jay-Z impersonations for 4 minutes over a Drumma Boy beat and a Doughboyz Cashout joint featuring the presence of Pusha-T rapping about beak in his irritating trademark scary-guy-on-the-phone-from-a-Scream-movie voice?

"I had 'em for the 2-3, n*gga, just like new J's
PURE WHITE COCAINE!
I can stretch that 62 about 4 ways
PURE WHITE COCAINE!
Cut it with the razor first day
PURE WHITE COCAINE!
Then I put that white gurl in the water, mermaid
PURE WHITE COCAINE!"


Doughboyz Cashout & Young Jeezy ft. Big K.R.I.T & Pusha-T - Pure
(From Young Jeezy & CTE's #ItsThaWorld 2 EP; 2013)


I'm loathe to enjoy anything featuring Pusha-T in 2013 other than Let Me Love You which I can jam as a fantasy unreleased Ma$e X The Neptunes track recorded for Double Up (Pusha has only ever been any good at sounding nonchalant over Neptunes beats so it's no surprise that him trying his hand at Ma$e's flow over a Chad & Pharrell replica by The Dream would result in his best song since 2006), but Pure manages to overcome the Pusha-T factor because it's a song about cocaine which would probably sound wonderful if you were actually high to your eyeballs on cocaine. Listen to those yawps of bandito trumpet and tell me you don't feel the bravura of a Zapatista general during the 1994 uprising in Chiapas.

Thursday, 28 November 2013

Hold up, I show out when I show up

VERY RAER HIGHLIGHT FROM THE MIDDLE PORTION OF SLIM THUG'S LATEST ALBUM NOT RUINED BY NEEDLESS APPEARANCE OF THE TEXA$ TERMANOLOGY NOW HAS A VIDEO!

Slim Thug - 84s
(From Boss Life album; 2013)


Don't wanna be one of those hommes who gush over rapper's voices a little too enthusiastically, but, gosh, it's almost like Thugga's dulcet tones were willed into existence just to talk slick about vehicles and vaginas over spurious Pimp C productions by Big K.R.I.T like this, wonnit? Lemme venture to suggest that 84s is a top 5 song outta Houston this year alongside Z-Ro's Look Good, IONCAHH by BeatKing, Killa Kyleon's Cadillac, and Cake by UGK, Boosie & Big K.R.I.T.

Wednesday, 27 November 2013

Probably can't tell but I been through Hell

Stuff I know about about Stu Hustlah: he's from Fort Wayne, Indiana, and he's the type of traditional regional Gang$ta-Rapper who treats C-Bo with the same sort of reverence that east coast rappers reserve for Rakim; some lad called Conor did a guest post about his clique Murder Gang for Thomas' gaff; he's featured on a Feddy Da Sneak & Young Bossi song I'm very fond of; I discovered this certified jam in the related videos for that Freddy Da Sneak & Young Bossi song I'm very fond of; he could probably pursue a side career playing Turf Talk's stunt-double:

Stu Hustlah - Let Off Da Strap
(From It's Me album; 2013)



Really wish I'd heard this before the temperature's dropped and the sky's turned grey for the next 4 or 5 months. Shout outs to all the UK man dem who heard Stu's "it's me, it's me" ad libs during the intro and thought dook was gettin' in on that Carol Vorderman ISME.com advert loot.

Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Generic list post: 2013 edition

15 2013 singles, deep cuts, and loosies which really should've gotten more luh IRL and on teh internet:

The Lox - Summer's Too Hot
A-Wax - Buffalo Bill
Travis Porter ft. Jeremih - Err Damn Day
Mouse On Tha Track - Mr Lump Sum
Doughboyz Cashout & YG - Hella Ice
A-Mafia - Block Hugga
HD Of Bearfaced - No Pretendo
Fredo Santana ft. Blood Money - Take Risks
Mic Terror - West Coast
Kap-G ft. Young Jeezy - Jose Got Dem Tacos remix
Dom Kennedy - Nothin' Like Me
Roach Gigz ft. Kreayshawn - Pu$$y Magnet
BeatKing - IONCAHH
Chinx Drugz - How Can I Lose?
Suga Free & Pimpin' Young ft. Nate Dogg - 15 Minutes To 5

Related: Dom Kennedy should consider working with DJ Mustard more because Nothin' Like Me is so much better than his regular stuff, especially the much overrated My Type Of Party which just sounds like a 2011 A$AP Rocky Karmaloop commercial before they added the token corny faux-Screwed hook.

(T_T)

After his brief pisspoor flirtation with Ryan Hemsworth (nowadays "selling out" for a rapper means letting some Canadian Tumblr DJ turn your music into a half-baked facsimile of something from a 90s Mo' Wax Trip-Hop compilation), $tarlito is back to atone for his sins with some real Sad Boyz Rap. Keep The Change from his new album features 'lito doing 'lito over lugubrious production which sounds like steam wafting up offa rain sodden streets, while Troy Money is a decent enough weed carrier in a Young Dolph Jr. kinda way and I particularly enjoyed his "had to change how I live so I could change where I live" line:

"I'm sippin' pink and smokin' purp
Sellin' weed, no felonies, a spelling bee when I go to work
OZ's QP's, HQ's of O.G, yeah I go beserk"


$tarlito ft. Troy Money - Keep The Change
(From Fried Turkey album; 2013)


Tha sample sounds kinda like an outtake from Bernard Herrmann's Taxi Driver OST. I'll be your BFF if you can identify where it comes from.

Monday, 25 November 2013

Cadbury's milk Trae

A list of the rappers who appear on Trae's new mixtape I Am King: Puffy, Jeezy, T.I, Krayzie Bone, Roscoe Dash, Lil' Reese, Kevin Gates, Lupe Fiasco, Snoop Dogg, Meek Mill, Lil Boss, Wiz Khalifa, Jadakiss, Jay'Ton, Yo Gotti, Dougie D, Da Brat (!), Big K.R.I.T, and B.o.B.

By my reckoning there are 7 people in that list who have any business being on a Trae full length, the rest amount to the most generic assemblage of industry cameos since French Montana's album. So it's astonishing to find out that the immediate standout track and the only cut which sounds like it was recorded by a Texas rapper is the one which features guest vox from a journeyman hack like Snoop, who'd probably jump on an Admiral Crumple song for a quick cheque at this point. Nursery-rhyme beats, Trae still making boring car-talk tropes sound compelling, and a Snoop verse that's clearly ghostwritten by Trae FTW:

Trae ft. Baby Houston & Snoop - Old School
(From I Am King mixtape; 2013)



Looking on the bright side, at least Trae spared us a cameo from his Grand Hustle label mate Iggy Azelea. Bruce Samazan, James Murdoch, and Robbie Unkut are the only Aussies who should be allowed anywhere near Rap music, IMHO.

Saturday, 23 November 2013

Erm, where's the Freeway & Jacka album then?

The snippets for Highway Robbery were up on Amazon and that shit was scheduled for release on november 12th. Then the page vanished, the album didn't drop and Jacka announced it'd been pushed back until 2014.

Why he do dat dere? I was particularly intrigued by the snippet of a Young L produced slap featuring Husalah called Shuckin' & Jivin' which sounded like it had the potential to be the new Sleep With Da Fishes (Boom Clack):

Husalah - Sleep With Da Fishes (Boom Clack)
(From Mob Trial compilation; 2006)

Friday, 22 November 2013

Boston George is the southern Termanology

Can somebody keep this fucken' wack arse leech-with-loot offa otherwise great Boo Rossini and Slim Thug songs, and can Lil' Lody stop giving him beats period, plz?

Thursday, 21 November 2013

Just sayin, bruv 9


Everybody on the Rap internet is either too cool or too clueless to admit this, but the original version of Canibus & Rakim's I'll Bust 'Em, You Punish 'Em over the beat which sounds like something from the Beatnuts' A Musical Massacre deserves to be lauded alongside the O.G versions of AZ's Your World Don't Stop and Doe In Advance by Gang Starr in the pantheon of amazing 90s N.Y Rap songs which were then rendered unlistenable by sample clearance for their official retail release:

"Now on some battlin' shit, my verbal lateral grip
Keeps my tongue glued to the A-Dat when I'm trackin' my shit
Let my spit lubricate the chap on my lips
And make you rappers have fits cause I'm back in the mix"


Canibus ft. Rakim - I'll Bust 'Em, You Punish 'Em
(From I'll Bust 'Em, You Punish 'Em 12"; 1999)


FYI Canibus, using spit to lubricate your chapped lips will only make them drier.

Generic list post: Val DOOMican edition

Here at The Martorialist, we've only really ever fucked with MF DOOM on the occasions when he rhymes over MF DOOM beats, so, ideally, his official follow-up full length to Operation Doomsday would been made up of the best tracks from the King Gheedorah, Monsta Island Czars, and MF Grimm albums. If he'd have let ya boy DOOM Passantino right chea MC Serch this chimerical sophomore album, the tracklist would have ran a lil' somethin' like this:

1. One Smart N***** (Intro)
2. Fazers
3. Foolish (with MF Grimm & Megalon)
4. Mic Line
5. Rain Blood (with Megalon)
6. Final Hour
7. Anti-Matter (with Mr Fantastik)
8.Fastlane (with Kurious)
9. Escape (with Monsta Island Czars)
10. I Hear Voices 0 (with MF Grimm)
11. I Hear Voices 1
12. Next Level

Kurious, Megalon, and MF Grimm all would have had solo tracks on there with Fastlane, Rain Blood, and I Hear Voices 0 respectively; Monsta Island Czars would have been allotted another weed-carrier posse cut in the vein of Who You Think I am? with Escape; and the absolutely incredible Arrow Root instrumental those Scienz Of Life plums ruined on Next Level from the King Gheedorah album would have had DOOM gettin' all ? over the top of it as the emotive album closer instead.

Anybody fancy making this into a YouTube playlist?

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

ATLanta's Most Wanted

Since that dibba-dibba-dinosaur singin' ass hack Mos "Yeltsin Beyonce" Def is too busy indulging in publicity stunts to advertise that he's available for Prisoner-Of-War movie roles and fighting with John Mayer over #RARE Visvim gear at Union, it's left to Rich Kidz to bring back the spirit of early 90s Ice Cube:

"The cut locked up
Got Boosie locked up
Why the fuck Zimmerman out doin' what he want?"


Rich Kidz - Trayvon
(From A Westside Story mixtape; 2013)


Crazy fruity Swag-Rap didn't die, it just got political.

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Reasons why I love YouTube #51

Lil' Troy ft. Yungstar, Fat Pat & Lil' Will - Wanna Be A Baller (video edit)
(From Wanna Be A Baller single; 1999)







Monday, 18 November 2013

Wu Wuu Wuuu >>>>>> any Wu-Tang song from the past few years which doesn't feature an AZ cameo


This is the post where I stan for that occasionally unintelligible Uncle Murda & Rocko song where they both make funny noises at the end of damn near every line (no Akinyele circa Vagina Diner) since it's just become an official single. With its next level onomatopoeia based on a Martin Lawrence sitcom catchprase Wu Wuu Wuuu is the final frontier of the recurring phrase motif that's been popular in Rap songs this year, whilst Jahlil Beats' production is perhaps 2013's best example of the type of sound that Lil B once described as making him feel like he was ice-skating:

"My crew deep like the Wuuu
If you want beef, what it doo-ooo
You pussy by yourself, you tough when you with your creewuuu
I been tough since public schoo-oool
Momma whipped my ass for bein' bad at schoo-oool
Beat me in the shower is what she used to doo-oooo
Belt used to hurt, had me screamin' out OOOHH-OHHHH-OOHHH
Then I'd go outside with an attitu-uude
Flippin' on n*ggas, they like I thought we was coo-oool?
Over misunderstandings I'm eatin' n*ggas foo-oood
Call me the animal that took over the zoo-ooo"


Uncle Murda ft. Rocko - Wu Wuu Wuuu
(From Wu Wuu Wuuu single; 2013)


See guys, it's not just Young Thug who can make great Rap music by making daft sounds with his gob!

Martorial elegance: the anti-CRC edition

There's a war goin' on out chea no Rap fan over the age of 30 is safe from! J-Love is not impressed by the Conservative Rap Coalition's philosophy of wearing age appropriate clothing and now exists as the main sartorial role model for all ageing fat whiggas who just can't say no to oversized sportswear, large logo POLO and bandanas. Fuck your tasteful J.Crew shirts and slacks, J-Love is back like Air Max '87s on ol' Joey Essex lookin' ass banter lads with dat DJ Talent swag and his Rap Hands of Death:

Sunday, 17 November 2013

Fuck minimum wage, I feel like I got minimum days

"But I got homies with me and they got maximum 'k's!"

Lil' Snupe - No Games
(From RNIC mixtape; 2013)


Posthumously listening to Lil' Snupe, what's even more striking than the references to his own demise is his spookily prophetic penchant for rhyming about gunshot-related torso wounds on so many of his songs. Using his fellow former Louisiana native Soulja Slim as the most obvious point of comparison, if his amazing intro to DJ Mustard's Ketchup album (the only Snupe song I'd heard prior to his death) is his From What I was Told type definitive classic, then I'd argue No Games should be his quintessential fan-favourite deep cut a la You Got It. No Games is also one of the only songs in his oeuvre which sounds like it it was recorded by a Louisiana rapper right down to the Mista Cain shout out, and Snupe was much more intriguing a prospect as Louisiana's rappin' ass answer to Fredo Santana than he was as the Dramchasers Lil' Malik to Meek Mill's Snoop Dogg.

Geographical similarities aside, the slain rapper Lil' Snupe's career probably parallels the closest isn't Soulja Slim but New York's Half-A-Mill: both Snupe and 'Mill were tremendously talented rappers who struggled to translate those skills into song format due to industry affiliations/expectations and poor production choices, and whose legacies seem to rest on their freestyles rather than their recorded material bar a generic song on a totally half-arsed compilation each.

Friday, 15 November 2013

Reasons why I love YouTube #50

Via Gwarizm, Biggie's 15 minute video diary from the UK TV show Passengers in 1995:

"I just wanted to be that live n***a that just drive everywhere, live my life, smoke weed all day, get my dick sucked, whatever..."


R.I.P to the days when American Rap music could actually get on British telly. The best we've gotten over the past 5 years is Ice-T & Coco on All Star Mr & Mrs and Coolio on Celebrity Big Brother.

Thursday, 14 November 2013

Token N.W.A post

It's Future week on ATLanta's Got Talent and here comes the bloke behind Soulja Boy's Zan With That Lean Part 1 with an N.W.A-themed generic but utterly potent strained Auto-Goon™ joint. Kind of an apt arc really since all those Rap & Bullshit jams from Pluto everybody sweated last year were essentially overrated facsimiles of Zan With That Lean Part 2. *ducks*

"I'm a young N*gga Witta Attitude
Chain full of them Ice Cubes
Hunned thousand dollars in a Dickies suit"


Kwony Cash - Y.N.W.A
(From Don't Sleep mixtape; 2013)


Shout outs to all the homies who've witnessed enough strength of street knowledge to notice that N.W.A and Only Fools & Horses both used the Mistral font for their logos. Eazy-E & Dr Dre were the Rap Game Del Boy & Rodney on so many levels.

*EDIT* The Ruthless Records roster as Only Fools & Horses cast members analogue as according to Bradley and me:

Eazy-E = Del Boy
Dr Dre = Rodney
Ice Cube = Boycie
MC Ren = Denzil
DJ Yella = Trigger
Jerry Heller = Grandad
Suge Knight = Uncle Albert
D.O.C = Mike The Barman
Cold 187 Um = Mickey Pearce
Tarrie B = Raquel
Michel'le = Cassandra
Kokane = Tony Angelino
AIDS = The bar Del Boy falls through

Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Ayo the Beef N Broccoli tumblr


Cool method of word-for-word jacking a post about Foxx's original Wipe Me Down video I made in july, bruv, but if you're gonna gaffle my blurbs about Baton Rogue rappers in future could you at least play switcheroo with the sentence structure a bit so I won't notice when ANU reblogs you?

Props on being the first American Rap blogger to mention Joey Deacon in a post, though.

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Late pass: Kitty Pryde calls Das Racist's rape victim a liar

The hombre Jamie just directed me to this and it makes for a handy post-script to both the Das Rapist/Julienne Shepherd debacle and Kitty Pryde/The Wavery-gate. Get a load of the erstwhile Miss Pryde calling the time Das Racist & their manager groped some teenage girl & then raped her after she'd passed out in their hotel room "some kinda miscommunication" and dismisses the allegation as "a girl said a thing on tumblr":



Moral of this missive? Kitty Pryde only cares about rape victims when they're the person employing her and/or if she can get paid to write a Noisey column about them, which makes her the most reprehensible redhead in Rap right now just ahead of Drake's painfully unfunny fat ginger mate.

*EDIT* Someone in the comments posted this frankly jawdropping show of solidarity for the sisterhood from Kitty which she apparently hastily deleted. Julienne Shepherd would be proud:

Monday, 11 November 2013

Just sayin', bruv 8

Sacrilegious opinions about Houston-Rap #1: pardon the pun, but the remix of Yungstar & Lil' Flex's Knockin' Pictures Off Da Wall from the Crooked Profit Vol. 1 compilation knocks the original version outta the box since all the O.G does is sorta answer the question of what would DJ Screw's June 27 sound like if it weren't Screwed & Chopped? Answer: nowhere near as thumpin'.

Yungstar ft. Lil' Flex - Knockin' Pictures (remix)
(From Yungstar & Den-Den's Crooked Profit Vol. 1 compilation; 2002)


The original is a Houston classic which still gets Yungstar shows in Houston to this day, but the vocals sound all outta sync with such uptempo drums and how are they gonna call a song Knockin' Pictures Off Da Wall when it's got about as much low-end as a Minnie Mouse qweef? This remix fixes both of these problems by planting Yungstar & Lil' Flex's vocals over a sample of I Can't Wait by Nu Shooz, making it sound like a late '80s Teddy Riley Rap production repurposed to rattle trunks in Texas. Shit sounds pretty sweet in a 2014 Citroen DS4 driving around oop north too.

Sunday, 10 November 2013

I think Atlantic tryna set Joe Mo$e$ up, maybe I'm just Paranoid? #2

Pssst, you didn't read this salacious little rumour here, but a source close to Ty$ tells me the real reason for Joe Mo$e$' removal from the official version of Paranoid was at the behest of Ty$'s fellow Atlantic Records artist T.I who didn't take too kindly to Joe's "see, all my bitches is bad I'm not T.I, ain't no Tiny's around me uh-uh, bitch" line about his beloved missus, and that's why Atlantic have been attempting to erase the original version from the 'net these past few months. Maybe the Rap Genius annotation was the final straw for Tip?



Damn, Joe, ya boy Ty$ is all up in da game but he's got the NO MA'AM rules missin' like DB Tha General:

"Bro's over hoes? Hell naw, that's gay!"

DB Tha General - Don't Worry
(From I Shine, We All Shine album; 2012)

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