Monday, 30 September 2013

An open letter to Que Tha Truth

Yo Que, I'm really happy for you and I'ma let you finish, but Young Giftz already had the best Money Makin' Mitch joint of the year....of the year! ¯\(°_o)/¯

Good thing you accompanied it with my favourite sad-sack saxophone jam since Cormega's The Other Side and your ode to everybody's favourite Egyptian pharoah sounds like some exotic incidental music from a sci-fi movie set in Buck Roger' years-era Egypt where evil descendants of the Ptolemaic dynasty get their jollies by sacrificing peasant slaves who've been caught pissing in the river Nile to the serpent God Apep before The Rock and Tom Baker turn up to save the day then, huh?

"I'm designer head-to-toe, boy
Pockets full of dough, boy
Teacher asked me who I was and I replied a dope-boy
Fresh as fuck for Fed cameras, life inside the sto', boy
A-T-and-T : I'm gettin' Ass, Twot and Throat, boy!"


Que Tha Truth - King Tut
(From 24 Karat G.O.L.D mixtape; 2013)


Sunday, 29 September 2013

I refuse to refer to Young Ready by his new moniker of Racked Up Ready part 2


Similarly, I also refuse to credit Mista Cain's Mind Right to Young Ready now he's claiming it as his own since Cain is gonna be locked up for the foreseeable future. Ready has Cain's blessing to run with the song and I've been waiting for Ready to make a jam as good as this ever since I first heard his Baton Rogue anthem 1 Rubber on C-Loc's fifth Concentration Camp album 4 or 5 years ago, but I just can't accept Mind Right as part of the Young Ready catalogue. And why won't I be swayed on this matter of song ownership? Because Mista Cain's verse includes a landmark moment in Rapper parenting practices that ensures Mind Right should always belong to him, that's why :

"Catch me in a Beamer, the next top model
My son at home, bitch, that's lean in his baby bottle!"


Mista Cain ft. DJ B-Real & Young Ready - Mind Right
(From Mista Cain's Louisicain 2.5 mixtape; 2013)


Until Rap's most noted smackhead B.G comes home from prison and records a song about mixing heroin in with his daughter's Farleys Rusks to send her to sleep, the bar has been well and truly raised.

Friday, 27 September 2013

Moved to Alabama, got silk pyjamas

Oh ok, NOW I get what Texas dudes & Houston Rap-philes mean when they say that Yungstar is the rapper who RiFF RaFF Dana Daned his whole rhyme style from.

As someone that's only familiar with Yungstar from Wanna Be A Baller and June 27, ya boy Michaelangelo Migos right chea wasn't initially sold on this particular claim of plagiarism, and delving into Yungstar's catalogue earlier this year only muddled matters further for me since his 2 Throwed Yung Playa albums are both glofified label samplers for the Straight Profit Records roster where he's near enough indistinguishable from his weed carrier labelmates Lil' James and Lil' Flex.

But then I came across this Mista Madd track where Yungstar drops by halfway through with 2 freestyled verses of outre non-sequitur boasts about being the mayor of the Himalayas and riding candy jet-skis and it was a Rap Game Flashback To That Time I Saw The Killing After Growing Up On Reservoir Dogs moment. Yungstar appears on the song at precisely 2:39 but plz don't just skip to those because the rest of the song is equally great, especially the hook and that bit where where the young Slim Thug says he "went from a BMX to a G.S Lex'" :

Mista Madd ft. Slim Thug & Yungstar - Down South
(From Mista Madd & The Supa Thuggz album; 1999)


Three questions : what are some other songs where Yungstar let his nuts hang like this? Was Down South Slim Thug's first ever appearance on record? And did anybody else used to think that Yungstar was Lil' Troy and Lil' Troy was Yungstar on Wanna Be A Baller?

Thursday, 26 September 2013

Reasons why I love YouTube # 47

Because somebody has uploaded the official 'hood DVD video for Rockness Monstah & Sean Price's lost mixtape banger Fuck Dat Rapper. Despite the fact there are at least 4 of the prossies Rock was arrested for pimping in the clip, it's still reading a strong 8.5 on the Struggle-Rap-O-Meter due to his oversized New Era radiating that plutonium strength Papoose swag :

Rock ft. Sean Price - Fuck Dat Rapper
(From Shell Shock mixtape; 2008)


Fuck Dat Rapper was way better than anything on that last Heltah Skeltah album bar Da Art Of Disrespekinazation so the video's existence gives me a convenient excuse to remind y'all that you can find an MP3 of it on the first Best Of The Martorialist compilation!

Wednesday, 25 September 2013

I refuse to refer to Young Ready by his new moniker of Racked Up Ready

As far as Baton Rogue Rap goes in 2013, this is my jam at the moment :

"I'm runnin' outta options, can't get no job
Fresh outta jail, came right back to them raws
A 'script of 90 bars and 120 r's
I'ma sell the racecars but I'ma eat with xanax bars
I ain't learned my lesson yet, my head extra hard
I'm runnin' if they stop this car 'cause I can't take no charge
Dropped my iPhone and my lean cup, now it won't take no charge
I fuck with Kev' and 'Vel, my n*gga gonna take this charge
So many hot boys I can fill up a garage
Spitta's in that water like the bottom of a barge
Look up in my rear view - I see you sarge
I'm jumpin' fences - I see you sarge!"


Spitta ft. Young Ready - Runnin'
(From Fresh Outta Jail mixtape; 2013)


Running is a much underused medium in Rap videos : N.W.A mastered it, Ghostface & Jadakiss were too lazy to see the concept through, and Mic Terror's jogging skillz are unparalleled.

Monday, 23 September 2013

Generic list post : Happy Perez edition

Please believe this is the post where I conclusively prove that Happy Perez is one of the ten greatest Southern producers of all time and a far more important figure in the history of teh Rap music than that dead fella from Detroit who ruined The Pharcyde and A Tribe Called Quest with his boring clippity cloppity neo-soul beats.


In a perfect world, I would've pitched this as a listicle to Complex on the strength of Happy Perez being the brains behind the boards for How Ya Do Dat and Miguel's Sure Thing. Alas, in reality there's no way any website would ever pay me to write a list comprising of 95% Concentration Camp deep cuts and I doubt my arsenal of crap jokes about C-Loc gettin' bummed in Angola and how Boo Da Boss Playa/Rossini looks the dead spit of either Jim Jones or A-Wax depending on which way you squint your eyes would've been able to stretch out for 30 blurbs, tbh.

So here's a generic hyperlinked list of my 30 favourite songs that Happy Perez produced in its place. It's probably best to forget that he also did a bunch of beats for South Park Mexican and even recorded 2 albums with him as the Lone Star Ridaz since it's morally unethical to listen to Rap songs by dudes who diddled kids, especially when said dudes who diddled kids were committing similarly abhorrent crimes like ganking the Happy Perez beats which could've been used for some J-Von and Lee Tyme solo cuts on the 4 Concentration Camp compilations.

1. Young Bleed - A Fool (1997)
2. Lil' Boosie & Webbie ft. Bun B - Show Ya Tattoos (2005)
3. C-Loc ft. Lay-Lo & Young Bleed - Sickness (1998)
4. Max Minelli - My First Verse (2003)
5. Young Bleed ft. C-Loc & Max Minelli - Better Than The Last Time (1998)
6. Max Minelli, Boosie & C-Loc - Throw It Up (2004)
7. C-Loc & Max Minelli - What's Love? (1998)
8. Max Minelli ft. Mystikal - Thug Thang remix (2003)
9. Lay-Lo - Take It Like A Gee (1999)
10. Max Minelli ft. C-Loc - Whas Hapnin' Thug? (2004)
11. C-Loc & Boosie - Shit Real (2000)
12. Young Bleed ft. C-Loc, Lee Tyme & Max Minelli - Confedi (1998)
13. Boo Da Boss Playa ft. Goldie - Rainbow (2000)
14. Boo ft. Lay-Lo - Ima (1999)
15. Young Bleed - I Couldn't C It (1999)
16. Boosie ft. Max Minelli - Same Old Shit (2000)
17. Max Minelli - Safe Place (2012)
18. PSK-13 ft. C-Loc - Don't Push Me (1999)
19. C-Loc ft. Boosie & J-Von - Pussy Ass N*ggaz (2000)
20. Trae ft. C-Loc - On Your Own (2004)
21. Max Minelli - Louisiana Sky (2009)
22. C-Loc, Max Minelli & J-Von - I Got Mine (2000)
23. Boo Da Boss Playa ft. Young Bleed & Goldie - I Like 2 (2001)
24. Young Bleed - An Offer U Can't Refuse (1998)
25. Boosie ft. Max Minelli - Feel Lucky (2000)
26. C-Loc - Who I Am (1995)
27. Young Bleed ft. C-Loc & Master P - Keep It Real (1998)
28. Boosie ft. Max Minelli - Pop It On Me (2000)
29. Young Ready, Young Crucial & C-Loc - Drop Your Nuts (2007)
30. Young Bleed - Give And Take (1999)

Related Baton Rogue Rap news : Mouse On Tha Track has just dropped a video for Bye Bitch. If you missed the song previously, you can find an MP3 of it on my Mouse On Tha Track compilation as well as that recent DJ Dow Jones What Da Streetz Need 7 mixtape which got slept on like a motherfucker despite the fact it featured no less than 5 new Mouse songs.

Mouse On Tha Track - Bye Bitch
(From the internet; 2013)

Sunday, 22 September 2013

There is a video for Pussy by Lady!!!

Why did nobody tell me one of my favourite songs of recent times got the visual treatment last year?

Lady - Pussy
(From Bout Dat Life album; 2011/YouTube; 2012)


The fact this this clip only has 125,986 views while Kitty Pryde's 2 singles both have over a million views each is all the proof we need that everybody ever associated with The Wavery's viral experiment is a racist, IMHO.

Saturday, 21 September 2013

Rap Game David Dickinson

Props to Serg Dunn for finding the 2013 Body In The Trunk where the corpse of a headless police deputy replaces the neighbourhood hater who got his wig twisted in Nore & Nas' original guide to dead body disposal (no Necwo). What really seals the deal on this song is that its grisly tale takes place over the sort of neo-mobb music bassline which sounds like it was tailor made for E-40's Revenue Retrievin' : Graveyard Shift album and it features 2 drum-solo breakdowns!

King Chip - Police In The Trunk
(From (44108) mixtape; 2013)


Am I correct in thinking King Chip's music didn't used to be this gully when he went by his previous moniker of Chip Tha Ripper or did I just never give his shit a fair shake because his stupid name made him sound like an AZN Bay Area turntablist dude or Chip-Fu auditioning to join the Gravediggaz?

Friday, 20 September 2013

Drew Huge came up on a super rare Money Boss Players promo

Peep the tracklist here and let's try to convince him to share the 3 previously unheard joints Cause Im your MBP, Sparkle, and Same Shit Different Places (Ghetto Thang is just Bronx N*ggas under a different title apparently) even if it's just to upload them to his YouTube account of #rare gems :



Remember when Traffic Entertainment were reportedly tryna thrash out a deal with Minnesota to release a deluxe remastered Money Boss Players discography CD about 6 years ago? I'm assuming that situation is dead in the water like Richey Edwards now even though an MBP discography would probably put them J. Cole numbers on the board in Germany. On the off chance it does ever happen then it needs to include these MBP tracks and a bonus disc full of CDQ versions of all the Bounce Squad mixtape freestyles that Lord Tariq appeared on as well as his lost 12" banger with the Sammy Davis Jr. sample This Cold World :

Lord Tariq - This Cold World
(From This Cold World 12"; 2000)


I've never heard the Lord Tariq & Peter Gunz album but I'm gonna take a wild guess that This Cold World is better than anything on there bar Deja Vu (Uptown Baby).

Thursday, 19 September 2013

Zed Zilla makes good new song shockah!

He'll never top I'm Da Boss or even Dope Flow, How You Feel and No Chorus, but I'm pleased to report that Zed Zilla's new Time 2 Eat mixtape contains at least one jam, which comes as a total surprise since his last mixtape Rents Due 2 was such a shower of shite :

Zed Zilla ft. Yo Gotti & DJ Paul - Memphis shit
(From Time 2 Eat mixtape; 2013)



Despite the title and the fact that it's better than anything on Zed Zilla's boss' latest mixtape, Memphis Shit isn't the best song outta Memphis from the past month or so; that honour goes to Project Pat's Where The Fuck?, which is one of the few tracks on Cheez N Dope 2 that galumphs as hard as its lead-off single Gas. What the fuck is up with you dudes who'd rather listen to Lil' Ugly Duckling Mane or Spark Tumblr Tape over some new Project Pat or Zilla & Gotti paying tribute to Hypnotize Mindz alongside an actual IRL member of Three 6 Mafia?

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

In Japan they don't even know about Big Ben

After picking up Joe Blow's You Shoulda Been Payin' Me CD for a few quid last december, I spent the first half of 2013 jamming his Been Grindin' album hard with the intention that I was using it as an entrée to Ampichino's long-touted Da Krazies 2 double-disc. Then Amp' dropped Da Krazies 2 and...well, I've still never gotten around to checking it out yet because it's not on Spotify so the remaining few months of 2013 are probably gonna be spent in Joe Blow's company again since he's just released another new album of surrogate Jacka emo-mob music that I can peruse at my own leisure on the 'fy :

"As I think back I notice that times have changed
As I've gotten a lil' older, I done tried the same
Went from rock bottom to learnin' how to fly a plane
Gettin' high as I can just to hide the pain"


Joe Blow ft. Bo Strangles - Trialz
(From Check A Real N*gga Out Tho' album; 2013)


Can Nyquil, Thomas & Joseph get on the case and find out whether Joe Blow really does have a pilot's licence plz? Along with his near-impeccable taste in fuzzy ersatz RobLo production, it's Joe's weird little technically-plausible-but-obviously-total-bullshit boasts like that which keep endearing him to me. A quick FYI for Mr. Blow, though : you're in my headphones talkin' like it's just you and me when you reference English landmarks and say stuff like "they love me in the UK", but if you think you're infiltrating foreign markets by featuring British rappers on this new album then you're sorely mistaken because even British people don't wanna listen to British rappers.

Monday, 16 September 2013

This is reality-Rap, we really go through it

We've got 3 and a half months to go yet but I think it's safe to predict that J-Zone's Crib Issues is 2013's best example of why Rap is the only genre of music any man over the age of 21 should be listening to since it deals with the pertinent male issues of the age such as women with cats who think it's in any way acceptable to allow a filthy animal that's been out in the garden all day shitting, pissing and licking lord knows what into the bedroom :

"She wants to cuddle, I wanna creep
'Cause her cat climbed in the bed and now I can't sleep"


J-Zone - Crib Issues
(From Peter Pan Syndrome album; 2013)



J-Zone's always been a spiritual offspring of Prince Paul, so it's not surprising that Peter Pan Syndrome would be a concept album and sound akin to what you'd imagine Paul's production would sound like in 2013. The problem with him using Prince Paul as his blueprint is that neither of Paul's solo albums are exactly overflowing with the sort of jams you can throw on repeat and then rhyme along to in the shower, so it wouldn't have been a bad idea if 'Zone had looked to his other favourite great bugged-out producer/rapper auteur Mannie Fresh for some tips in the songwriting department since there's a few too many songs on PPS which function better as observational comedy skits set to banging beats than they do as, y'know, songs.

It's nice to see everyone finally hopping back onto J-Zone's nuts but where were you guys in 2006 when he released his unheralded masterpiece Every Hog Has Its Day with Celph Titled as the Bo$$ Hog Barbarian$? A CD so underrated that J-Zone barely even acknowledged it in his own memoir other than to mention he uses unsold copies of it as doorstops.

Sunday, 15 September 2013

I think Atlantic tryna set Joe Mo$e$ up, maybe I'm just paranoid?

The other afternoon I was linking a friend to the tagless MP3 of Paranoid by Ty$ & Joe Mo$e$ after she asked for a download link for it on Facebook (girls LOVE Paranoid!) only to notice that Blogspot had deleted my post about the song from june without so much as a standard copyright infringement notice. Puh-leez tell me this isn't because Atlantic Records are now pushing the corny remix with B.o.B that's being sold on iTunes/Amazon etc as the de facto official version?

If Atlantic are just trying to remove the original no-DJ Ketchup MP3 from the 'net so they can give the song a proper shot at retail level then that's great news. But this is the same Atlantic who had various Gucci Mane mixtapes/songs/blog posts wiped from cyberspace in 2009, so it wouldn't surprise me if they'd try to rewrite Joe Mo$e$ out of history and it'd certainly explain the delay with the the Paranoid video if they've had to reshoot it to feature that sexless pipsqueak B.o.B prancing about lip-syncing in front of the camera instead.

I can forgive Ty$ for the My Cabana beat debacle since that was clearly out of his hands, but if he's going to let Atlantic ruin a perfect Rap & Bullshit song on account of a fucking B.o.B remix verse and then shaft the only rapper who should ever be allowed to rhyme on his shit in the process then I'm gonna wish a bad case of the clap on that ol' Mark Gonzalez-meets-Booker T lookin' ass muthafucker as well as B.o.B and everybody who's currently employed by Atlantic Records.

#Pray4JoeMo$e$

Saturday, 14 September 2013

Ayo Mister Cee, meet Mindbender Futurama

AKA Canada's answer to those unholy noises the poor neighborhood moggy made when Dutch strangled it to death in The Shield meets that abysmal drag queen performance-artist rapper SPIN Magazine have been unsuccessfully trying to push for the past year in one starfucking manchild who got his own twin brother addicted to crack. Mindbender will either put you off tranny prostitutes for life or inspire you to move to Toronto and make him your beard, so you'll finally get some closure on this sensitive issue whatever the outcome, bruv :


I understand you probably don't want to have to discuss your private sexual urges with an insincere 40 year old who wears Vans snapback & The Hundreds t-shirts like Ebro live on public radio again so please remember one very important fact should you decide to pursue Mindbender's services, Mister Cee: in a Canadian space tranny's mouth no one can hear you bust your milk bags.

Props to Big Ty; the greatest Canuck since Trish Stratus.

Friday, 13 September 2013

Mostly tha voice

I'm assuming Alan The Chemist must have coached Boldy James in the art of Dunn-language delivery now they're recording an album together because BJ didn't used to sound this nonchalantly menacing back when his music first became internet sexy in 2011, right?

"A shooter is a goonie
Blick is a whole clip, on some motion picture shit, take you to see a movie
A square is a loosie
A pistol is a throwaway, on a good day, eh, you can call me Juicy J"


Boldy James - Moochie
(From My First Chemistry Set album; 2013)



Moochie is currently splashed over all the usual suspect blogs and yet not a single writer has managed to come close to nailing why it's so good : essentially, it's a 2k13 Ebonics by Big Noyd's goon cousin from Detroit over the sort of top drawer eerie Alchemist production that somebody like Saigon would sell his firstborn to Max Hardcore for. Like I suggested a while back, the spirit of Q.B Dunn-Rap seems to have migrated out to the mid-west.

Related : my a brief guide to the best Big Noyd tracks from 2004 - 2010 post and Ettelthun's the Unkut guide to Big Noyd videos list.

Dawg, you got shot in your ass, dawg!


"Shot him in the ass, bet his ass won't sit up
Shot him in the ass, now I bet his ass shut up!"


DB Tha General - No CB4
(From No CB4 album; 2013)


First time I've heard a Bay Area rapper go in over a modification of I Need A Freak by Sexual Harrassment (no Das Racist) since Messy Marv's classic 2008 San Quinn dis track Talk Baseball. This here song fulfills my need for DB Tha General to deliver one great gassed-up 80s throwback jam a year, now all I want from him before december 31st is a great homicide-ballad in the vein of Murda or Don't Worry and he's good for another 12 months in my book.

What's your favourite I Need A Freak-inspired Rap song then, y'all? I tend to favour Too $hort's take on it over the couple of Mac Dre remakes. Even kinda dig that time Egyptian Lover took a stab at it in the mid 90s even though he could no longer secure the same class of video hoe as he once could in his Freak-A-Holic heyday.

Thursday, 12 September 2013

P.Rico HOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEE!

No Frankie Cutlass. Know I can't be the only person who thinks the outro joint on P.Rico's Hang Wit' Me video leaves the marquee song with its dick in the dirt, right? Redman's Time 4 Sum Aksion seemed like the ideal choice at the time, but in a perfect world this is the song Mike Tyson should have used as his entrance music to his 1995 comeback fight against that clumsy plastic-paddy "Hurricane" Peter McNeeley :

P.Rico - Gladiator
(From Welcome To Puerto Rico mixtape; 2013)


Swear down this'll be the last Chicago Rap song I post this week unless Mic Terror releases a sequel to Juke Them Hoes tomorrow. Between 52 Bars Part 2, Play They Role, Death Wish, Bitch I'm Crazy, Michael Jordan and Gladiator, the hometown of John Hughes and Green Velvet is making the hardest, nastiest Rap this year and it isn't even close aside from, like, 3 Gunplay songs.

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

Bushwick Bill back!

The 2012 Chicago joints I didn't catch onto until this year just keep comin'. Props to M.I.C.'s Lil' Chris for bringing midgets back to Rap by looking like a Hype Williams' fisheye fairground-mirror lens view of Jadakiss. Dook got his Little Big Man CD and he listened and he learned, then he grabbed his copy of The Diary off the dresser and decided that bittersweet sad-Rap jams would be his forte instead :

"Same shit, different day
She on her knees, 'bout to pray
To the dick, I'm the shit
Trust a bitch? Never that"


M.I.C. (Lil' Chris) - Same Shit Different Day
(From Same Shit Different Day single/M.I.C.'s Next To Blow mixtape; 2012)


David Drake tells me that same Shit Different Day and ZMoney's Yo' Bitch Callin' typify the more melodic sound of west side Chicago where groups like Sicko Mobb currently ring out and Ballin' is the biggest Chief Keef record so I'll defer to his homer knowledge on this matter. On the reals, though, I heard a rumour that if you play Same Shit Different Day, Yo' Bitch Callin' and King Louie's More Bandz in succession on the plot of land where Cabrini-Green once stood you'll summon up a ghostly crying robot made out of junked 80s home computers called Tandyman.

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

The kind you-just-don't-want-to-meet girl


Stuff I learned via Robbie yackin' to me about his trip to the Tuff City Records office in N.Y.C : the 7" radio edit of Spoonie Gee's Street Girl is the only officially mastered version of the song that was ever released. If your rube ass couldn't get with the slightly warbly 6:06 minute 12" version then give the mastered 4:45 minute 7" edit here a toot instead :

Spoonie Gee - Street Girl (radio edit)
(From Street Girl (radio edit) 7"; 1985)


Lust, greed, treachery, heartbreak, revenge - Street Girl was Film Noir on wax as well as a precursor to Nas & Kelis' marriage, B! The way Davy DMX's production languidly builds with tension during Spoonie's last verse to signal the impending doom before giving way to a melancholy coda that you can either interpret as a friend paying his last respects or a regret-tinged graveside confession from dook who got his ass played by the song's femme fatale is still damn near unrivaled as far as storytelling-Rap goes.

On a related note, someone has just leaked a dope ByrdGang era lost Max B song that appears to have been recorded for Public Domain 2 (Rise Of The Silver Surfer)!

Max B - Take A Flick
(From Public Domain 2 recording sessions; 2007)

Monday, 9 September 2013

Generic list post : RiFF RaFF should piss off back to TV already edition

"Y'know what RiFF RaFF - I see you out here doin' your thing with your plan and that's cool; you a funny guy and all that, but I'ma step, aiight?"


Hollllllld up wait a minute Calvin - stay right there, B, because It's RiFF RaFF who needs to step. Word around town, if you enjoy any music RiFF RaFF has released this year then you're a modern day equivalent of Tha Pumpsta and you were probably heartbroken at the recent spat between those noted racists Jim Goad & Brendan Soderberg. Here's why he no longer serves any sort of purpose as a recording Rap artiste in 2013 :

1. His Iced Out My Lighthouse mixtape with TKO Capone ain't never happenin' now he's a Diplo doja, and, consequently, he hasn't made solo shit dope since Time and Lil' Mama I'm Sorry.

2. His initial appeal was that you never knew what he was gonna say on a song and he'd occasionally come with some A grade crazy-space-shit-that-don't-even-make-no-sense like that time he said he was "playin' pool with the planets". Alas, it couldn't last and nowadays his rhymes are little more than a predictable smorgasbord of his own memes.

3. He's already wasted a bunch of beats by Dame Grease and Harry Fraud which would've been much better served as a Coke Boys spin-off project for Chinx Drugz & French Montana, and he's only going to continue to waste other people's beats in future.

4. It's probably too late for him to convince his buddies Lil' Debbie and Kreayshawn to shoot a dyke-out sex tape now the latter is about to pop out a kid, and NOBODY wants to watch a Lil' Debbie and RiFF RaFF sex tape.

5. There's a new cracka Rapper just pulled up in town by the name of Chazmaniia who's already had a Slay The Father moment on record by bodying Lil' Reese, and who surely has a more interesting backstory than Minnesota whigga who moved to Houston and funded his Rap career by pretending to be a graphic designer on MySpace and then ripping his clients off.

Sunday, 8 September 2013

Reasons why I love YouTube # 46

10 minute New Orleans doc news special on big Percy, the rise of No Limit and the Calliope Projects. The uploader lists the video as being from 1996 but surely it must be from 1997 given that it features songs from Tru 2 Da Game and Ghetto D, no?


When I cark it I hope people are gonna carry my coffin through the streets as they sing TRU's Heaven For A Gangsta too.

Saturday, 7 September 2013

And don't forget MC Spoony G

Secrete & rare Swag-Rap jams with choruses that sound like your computer freezing up and going haywire as you're listening to YC's Racks on Spotify. Someone could/should sample that hook because you could probably make a 2013 Murder Rap-type beat out of it. Anyhoo, props to the author of this cut if he's ever performed it live because he must have breath control like one of those Amazonian frogs that can stay underwater for weeks at a time :


"Pussy wet paint like my car just took a douche
And my racks got stacks so thick they look like Harry Potter books"


Spoony G - Owhoahhhh
(From Owhoahhhh single; 2011)



Anyone know owt about Spoony G then? He's practically un-Googleable due to his near-namesake and what scant info ya boy Fulton Mall Mackay and the homie Nyquil Made It can find tell us he's from Zone 6 and hasn't dropped anything else since aside from a couple of guest appearances. How refreshing to find a genuine one song wonder in an era where every motherfucker who drops a hot single then insists on hanging around for years on end afterwards making a nuisance of themselves by sharting out terrible mixtape after terrible mixtape.

Friday, 6 September 2013

Late pass!

Organized Konfusion were bullets, Nas was a gun (© Thun), A-Wax has a gun loaded with bullets that he uses to Liberty Valance dudes up over production which manages to sound all cheap 'n' nasty and bells & whistles AT THE SAME DAMN TIME :

"Flip a coin and pick a side
Beat it if the witness dies
Might not get to fuck again, beat it 'til her shit was dry"


A-Wax - The Shooter
(From Jesus Malverde album; 2013)


The Shooter's been out since january but I'd slept on it until a few days ago because I always tend to think of A-Wax as someone I prefer as a personality than as a rapper; for moi, his career highlight will always be when his beef with the Mob Figaz finally spilled over onto Twitter back in 2010, but I can't deny that I love Dome Shots, Trigganometry, Natural Disasters, Designer Drugs And Beatdowns and Yeah Right more than I love certain members of my own family.

Anybody else find it absolutely fucking hilarious that there's now an A-Wax song with a sample of Daft Punk's One More Time? It isn't a patch on Diamond from Crime Mob's song with the very same sample from last year but Jeff LMAO at such a world's colliding moment existing.

Thursday, 5 September 2013

My saltine, my saltine

YG, Rich Homie Quan, Jeezy & DJ Mustard don their leather t-shirts and bring out the CTE-print styrofoam cups for my favourite song of the year's official video. For anyone not keeping score, Mustard is currently behind 3 of 2013's 10 best songs with R.I.P, Paranoid and this :

YG ft. Rich Homie Quan & Young Jeezy - My N*ggas
(From #ItsThaWorld EP/Boss Yo' Life Up Gang mixtape; 2013)


Probably best CTE's token peckerwood weed carrier White wasn't invited to this song's shoot, eh? What word do the rest of y'all devils use to replace the dreaded n-bomb when you're singing along to this then? I usually alternate between whigga and ninja.

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

Brief thoughts on that new Yo Gotti mixtape

It can't be a coincidence that Yo Gotti got really good around the time of Cocaine Muzik 4.5 (Da Documentary) when he'd started wearing classic American selvedge Levi's and has damn near shit the bed on Nov 19th: The Mixtape now he's made the switch to them Euro-trash True Religions. I wasted an hour listening to this new wack ass 'tape of boring matter-of-fact throwaways when my time could've been much better spent jamming Look In The Mirror and Bang Bang on repeat for 60 minutes instead. Ayo Gotti - you're supposed to be a Memphis cowboy thug not some Russian club-douche rapist.

Also on teh fashion front, anybody else notice how Gotti slyly jacked that whole fitted-that's-slightly-too-small-for-his-head look he's been indulging in recently from Young Giftz?


Tuesday, 3 September 2013

I turned the hotel into the cluurrb

Dorrough's particular brand of Dallas party-Rap probably sounds rapturous in a rowdy Dallas strip club full of women with backsides like the aliens from Bad Taste, but aside from Swangin' Beatin Down Blvds and Bad To The Bone with Travis Porter it's never quite had the same effect through a laptop's speakers on my sofa. I've given a bunch of Dorrough joints a chance over the past 3 years but I've never found another song of his that's compelled me to listen to it more than once let alone do the Stanky Leg or the Pee Wee Herman to it. Until now :

"I do everythang legendary
Non-fiction, y'all shit imaginary
We at the hotel fuckin' Hallie Berrys
Y'all at the crib playin' solitary
Y'all n*ggas at the crib on the internet
We in a suite smokin' blunts like they cigarettes
Fuckin' hoes with some sexy ass silhouettes
Ask anybody, Prime Time Click been a threat"


Dorrough Music ft. DJ Mustard - After Party
(From After Party single; 2013)


That said, the most exciting thing about the Dorrough X DJ Mustard hook-up is that it could lead to the real kings of Dallas party-Rap scooping themselves a Mustard production too; we're already 9 months into 2013 so we're about due Treal Lee & Prince Rick's one great single per calender year.

Would be eternally grateful to anyone out there who has a no-DJ version of Swangin' Beatin Down Blvds.

Monday, 2 September 2013

Ayo The Wavery

Don't you wish that you could wake up and find that everybody loved Yung Lean, Lil' Pain, Khalil Nova and the rest of that godawful Tumblr-Rap y'all are currently pushing? ** EEEGGGH! ** People don't wanna listen to them rappers, mane! You ain't never gonna emulate Yams! It ain't never gonna happen so you need to put them pipe dreams away and stop pushin' all that ol' bullshit 'cause you bottom-rung bloggers and Cloud-Rap also-rans ain't no A&Rs!

It's all luv, doe, because you are all hereby cordially invited to come hop aboard the ZMoney Express instead. Next stop : everywhere.


Obviously all y'all Wavery members will be seated in economy class with the rest of the regulars because nobody wants to exchange pleasantries with paedophiles and the sort of people who encouraged Chippy Nonstop to start rapping, but you will be granted complimentary MP3s of Everything to ensure your journeys are relatively comfortable. Here's the tagless 320kbps official version that's a mash-up of the original and the video remix with Kevo, as well as the O.G version with 2 different verses which don't appear on either of the other versions :

ZMoney ft. Kevo - Everything remix (Rich B4 Rap version)
(From Rich B4 Rap mixtape; 2013)


ZMoney - Everything (original)
(From the internet; 2012)


Since ZMoney and his team have been known to check this site via Drew Barber and vanity-Googling, how's about you hook ya humble author Gianfranco DG Yola right chea up with the full no-DJ 320kbps version of Rich B4 Rap plz?

Sunday, 1 September 2013

Martorial elegance # 73

Blk ppl wearing band-aids as fashion accessories >>>>>>>>> whte ppl trying to feed blk ppl via Band-Aid :




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