Thursday, 31 December 2015

Congratulations to tpp

You on the continent and I ain't the type to write a postcard, but just know you dropped my favourite rap-pun of 2015. Bravo, lid.


When 2015 dies don't bury it in a suit, just play Freak Of The Week or House Every Weekend on the stroke of midnight in Havana's tonight and I'm smooth.

Wednesday, 30 December 2015

Generic list post: december 2015

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when a bunch of boring websites let a bunch of boring people to try and convince us that a couple of dullards like Jamie xx and Carly Rae Jepsen made the best music of 2015. Playin' catch-up on earlier 2015 gems I'd missed via other people's year-end lists so I ain't listen to much new rap this month, tbh.

Junglepussy - Bling Bling (2014)
Hott Headzz - Hmmm (2015)
Ezale - I Ain't Trippin' Off Nothin' (2015)
1WayFrank - JuggMan (2015)
Jidenna - Long Live The Chief (2015)
Jeremih - Pass Dat (2015)
The Voices Of East Harlem - Run, Shaker Life (1971)
Culture Club - Time (Clock Of The Heart) (1982)
Kwamz & Flava - Tonight (2015)

Other notables: I love 50 Cent like RZA & Kool G. Rap loved Cakes, but he had no business guesting on YG's I Wanna Benz; Kamaiyah's How Does It Feel goes downhill after the tropical mob music bass suddenly vanishes 18 seconds in so I dunno why everyone is jockin' it instead of the far superior Out The Bottle; the all-star remix of I Look Fly by Trill Youngins isn't as good as the Martorialist edit; Nef the Pharaoh's No Masturbation doesn't pull off the victory-lap concept song trick as well as YG's 2015 Flow did this time last year.

Tuesday, 29 December 2015

Monday, 28 December 2015

Reasons why I love YouTube part whatever

Funny how a video can sell you on a song you'd previously dismissed as merely aiight, innit? It was always gonna be an impossible task for Ezale to find original production which equals that of the Larry Smith and DJ Mustard classics he'd jacked in 2013, but the modest slap of I Ain't Trippin' Off Nothin' sounds so much more tremedo when paired with moving images of him in the midst of the worst comedown of his life before his mind rewinds back to the night before where he's Thizzfacing around the function like some Phunky Phat Graph-X-ized hybrid of Jackie Chain & Animal from The Muppets.

Ezale - I Ain't Trippin' Off Nothin'
(From YouTube; 2015)


Hold tight all the Oakland rappers tryna chirpse lasses who're more interested in meetin' Sage The Gemini.

Sunday, 27 December 2015

Late pass!

Hott Headzz - Hmmm
(From YouTube; 2015)


A Chicago hit with 5 million views and counting ya host was oblivious to the existence of until Drake mentioned it as another example of 2015 viral-bait with bars on my post about Lil' Twon & Playa Gator's Bruh remix, Hmmm by Hott Headzz is what woulda happened if Hot Stylz remade Juvenile's Ha with lyrics about eatin' ass like a variety of edibles in the style of Lil' Herb & Lil' Bibby. These lads get a pass on actin' like rimmin' is still some shocking act of kinkiness, but rappers need to step their fetish game up in 2016 - go eat the placenta like groceries or go home.

Saturday, 26 December 2015

Just sayin', bruv # 13

If there's one thing millennials have got right, it's their contempt for Star Wars. This is, after all, a mediocre franchise with one decent movie to its name which initially existed to sell toys to kids and only exists 37 years later to sell tie-in tat to '70s baby menchildren inflicting their childhoods on their own kids. Moreover, this is the franchise which single-handedly ended the wildest decade of American cinema and helped birth everything terrible about Hollywood post-1980: sequels, prequels, reboots, redubs, rejigs, movies that are composite sketches of other movies, movies by Kevin Smith.

There are, in fact, only 2 minor positives to emerge from the whole toxic debacle of Star Wars. The first is Carrie Fisher as an 80s equivalent of Liz Taylor in Cleopatra, the second is Max B saying "Luke I am your father!" as he mercilessly clowned Hell Rell & his mum on French Montana's Cokedog Millionaire DVD. The Wave >>>>> The Force:

Tuesday, 22 December 2015

Martorial elegance # 84

When Papoose has swapped his oversized fitted cap for a fedora you know the Drydick Rando-ification of rap music is officially underway. F**k a Hoop Dream, I am way under the brim:


Fat Joe walks up to Papoose and asks him "what's your favourite album of mine?" The perma-sullen faced Papoose mulls it over for 5 seconds and then replies "JLS One's Envy!"

Monday, 21 December 2015

Kiss of death like I'm Ernest Baker?


2015 was the year we first experienced just how disastrously a Drake cosign could backfire, but I ain't even mad at The Canadian for vanting to zuck Nef The Pharaoh's blood. Fangs ain't what they used to be in the music industry for yer budding regional stars, so if Count Drakula wants to take a bite out of Nefidelaphante then it's A-okay with me as long as Nef's music finds its way into more radio playlists and Aubrey Lugosi keeps his dulcet whines away from Big Tymin', Michael Jackson, and Come Pick Me Up.

Keep Drake's vocals away from Nef's grotty sex-jam Boss Me too - the world's an unpleasant enough place as it is right now without being subjected to bags of sand-raps from a bloke who drinks bags of milk.

Saturday, 19 December 2015

Rap songs that aren't on YouTube but really should be # 15

Back in the 80s, Schoolly D recorded 3 separate songs all with the title Gangster Boogie: there's his middling electro-rap debut single from 1984, Gangster Boogie II from his mediocre 1988 LP Smoke Some Kill, and Gangster Boogie from his 1989 magnum opus Am I Black Enough For You?. Naturally it's the best song of the trilogy that you can't currently find on YouTube... or any other streaming service for that matter - them crackas still aren't playin' fair at Jive!

Schoolly D - Gangster Boogie
(From Am I Black Enough For You? album; 1989)


If Vine had existed in 1990, Gangster Boogie probably woulda been the soundtrack to hundreds of clips where people reenacted scenes from King Of New York. 1:03 to 1:29 gotta be a prime backing track for your best Jimmy Jump strut to.

Wednesday, 16 December 2015

Generic list post: 2015 late pass edition

Annual list of great rap songs I either discovered this year or finally had an epiphany with. Let's quickly gloss over the fact that I've paid money for MP3s by SPM and Big Lurch during the past 12 months and get to the geographical nitty gritty: northern California seems to have the most fruitful back catalogue in rap according to my current tastes, whilst the year's biggest surprise was finding a handful of gems hailing outta the tri-state area because I'd become stupid enough to think I'd heard every notable N.Y rap song made between 1979 and 2015; being proven wrong has never felt so right.

Rated X - Rated X Is 2 (1990)
Coolio (Da Unda Dogg) - Jackin' (1991)
Greyson & Jasun ft. Slick Rick - Get Bizzy (1991)
The Bomb Squad ft. Billy Loose Screws - Illegal Shit (1992)
Latino Velvet - Raza Park (1997)
AZ ft. Jermaine Dupri - Rock Me (Hey AZ So So Def Mix) (1998)
Jiggs & Cheeks - Hustle Til I Die (1999)
Tim Trees - Bank Roll (2000)
SPM ft. Baby Beesh - Oh My My (2000)
Slimm Calhoun - Characters (2001)
Rosco P. Coldchain - I Can't Help (2003)
N.O.R.E & Peedi Crakk - N*gga Rican (2004)
J.Stalin - Pop My Collar (2005)
Birdman - Neighborhood Superstars (2006)
Bailey & J. Valentine - Go Dumb (I'm Sprung Bay Area remix) (2006)
3 Deep - Say What I Wanna Say (2008)
HD Of Bearfaced - Payday (2010)
Alley Boy ft. Ty Dolla $ign - RNGM (2013)
Junglepussy - Bling Bling (2014)
Nef The Pharaoh - Bitch I'm From Vallejo (2014)
Fetty Wap ft. Monty - 679 (2014)

By my calculations, I discovered 8 songs from this list via people on the internet so you're my dawg 4 life if you were 1 of them.

Monday, 14 December 2015

Fanatic of the B-side

'Ave a load of Superfuture's WHAT DID YOU WEAR TODAY? thread incarnate Jidenna spittin' the most poignant menswear bars since Husalah said "they never seen 'em in real life, I live a real life" on Gear. Let a one hit wonder remain a one hit wonder, but it's only good manners that every Hi Hater should be allowed a Role Model to play its position in the trenches.

"Now They Say "Jidenna Why you Dressin' so Classic??"
I Don't Want My Best Dressed Day In A Casket"


Jidenna - Long Live The Chief
(From YouTube; 2015)


Someone suggest what MIMS' equivalent of Long Live The Chief/Role Model would be if such a song even exists.

Sunday, 13 December 2015

Da Capo Best Movie Writing 2015

A little birdy tells me the reason A-Mafia only dropped one song in 2015 was because he was otherwise engaged cultivating a side-hustle as Harlem's foremost cineaste. It's ya boy A-Mafia AKA Armond Dat White!


Shout outs to the time A-Mafia really did link forces with Da Capo tho.

Thursday, 10 December 2015

Obligatory best rap songs of 2015 post

What a weird year for rap 2015 was: everyone started dying to the point where it seemed like industry folk were becoming as endangered a demographic as WW2 veterans; Dr. Dre finally dropped a new album and it made zero impact out in the real world; Noisey got Migos arrested, and ironic Noisey content-fodder rappers like Yung Gleesh and Chippy Nonstop were either arrested for sexual assault or deported to Canada; the only legit DJ Mustard banger of 2015 came as a Beenie Man homage from a British duo who are the essentially Derek C & Derek D; a 19 year old from London somehow made the best dance record of the past 12 months.

The rap songs I've fuxwit most this year then. Usual year-end list rules apply: one song per artist and no order of preference. Blogged about the vast majority of these throughout the past 12 months so I've hyperlinked to my posts on them, and for the ones I haven't I've simply linked to the MP3 or the video. You can find MP3s of a fair few of them on the recent-ish jams 4 u compilations I've posted throughout 2015, as for the rest you'll have to keep your fingers crossed BiggieGeorges swings through the comments and blesses y'all with zipfiles again.

Favourite rap songs of 2015 which dropped right at the arse-end of 2014:

Shy Glizzy - Funeral
Fabolous - Lituation
Mr.2-17 ft. The Ratchets - This And That
5th Ward Weebie ft. Snoop & Juvenile - Let Me Find Out Pt 2
Wiz Khalifa - Smoke Chambers
Nebu Kiniza - Myself

Favourite rap songs of 2015:

Rae Sremmurd - This Could Be Us
Lil' Chris - Days Go Bye
Tiffini & Lil' Chris - Bad Lil' Chick (remix)
Rich Homie Quan - Daddy
Nef The Pharaoh - Big Tymin'
Corn ft. Nef The Pharaoh - Old School Hyphy
Dr. Yen Lo - Day 93
Kendrick Lamar - Alright
Honey Cocaine - Honeydick
Snoop & Pharrell Williams - R U A Freak
Warren G ft. Nate Dogg - My House
Kap G - Andelay
Kid Ink - Cheerleader (Salaam Remi remix)
Mozzy - Bladadah
Young Thug - Halftime
Kokane ft. Too $hort - Luvin' A Pimp
Lil' Bibby & Lil' Herb - Ain't Heard Bout You (Kill Shit Pt.2)
K Camp - Comfortable
A-Wax - EverLasting Money
Jidenna ft. Roman GianArthur - Classic Man
YG - Twist My Fingaz
RJ - If It Ain't Ace
Ty Money ft. Twista - Come Again
Meek Mill - Monster
Gunplay - White Bitch
The Jacka ft. Dru Down - For Real
Berner & The Jacka ft. Rydah J. Clyde - One Sound
Fetty Wap - RGF Island
Patman - LIT
BeatKing - Stopped (video version)
Audio Push - Normally
Stresmatic ft. Nef The Pharaoh & Mazerati Ricky - 2 Phones
French Montana ft. Chinx & N.O.R.E - Off The Rip
Chinx - How To Get Rich
Hardini - I'm Bick
Maine Musik - Social Media Gangsta
J.Stalin ft. L'Jay - Bye Felicia
Lil' Twon ft. Playa Gator - Bruh (remix)
Future - News Or Somethn
DonMonique - Pilates (Kendall, Kylie, Miley)
King Los ft. R. Kelly - Glory To The Lord
Paul Wall - Swangin' In The Rain
Missy Elliot ft. Pharrell - WTF (Where They From)
Vic Spencer & TREE - Once
Kamaiyah ft. Zay M - Out The Bottle
Flo Rida ft. Robin Thicke - I Don't Like It, I Love It
Bankroll Fresh ft. Travis Porter & Boochie - Walked In
Boosie Badazz - I'm Sorry
Mouse On Tha Track - Grass Greener

Related year end reading: the best non-rap songs of 2015.

Wednesday, 9 December 2015

Generic list post: best non-rap songs 2015

You probably couldn't give a flying f**k at a rolling donut what my favourite non-rap songs of 2015 are, but what's the use of even having a blog if I can't use it to inflict my taste on t'internet? I've heard half the songs in this list whilst out in bars on the U.K high street or at home whilst flipping through the music channels on Freeview, thus this was my favourite year for non-rap popular music since 2002 or somethin'. Also a good year for themes to John Carpenter movies he never got around to directing and themes to John Carpenter movies which he didn't actually direct.

David Zowie - House Every Weekend
Julio Bashmore ft. J'Danna - Rhythm Of Auld
Shift K3Y - Beep Beep
Craig David ft. Big Narstie - When The Bassline Drops
Nick Brewer ft. Bibi Bourelly - Talk To Me
Charli XCX ft. Rita Ora - Doing It
Spice - Needle Eye
Busy Signal - Text Message
Dexta Daps - 7 Eleven
Popcaan - Rifle Slap Round Deh
Shaggy ft. Maxi Priest & Super Cat - Night Flight
Shatta Wale - Hol' It
Kwamz & Flava - Fine Lady
Empire ft. Courtney Love - Walk Out On Me
Becky G - Lovin' So Hard
Jack Ü ft. Justin Bieber - Where Are Ü Now
Janet Jackson - No Sleeep (solo version)
Tinashe - Player (solo version)
Natalie La Rose ft. Jeremih - Somebody
Trey Songz ft. Ty Dolla $ign - Loving You
Ty Dolla $ign - Horses In The Stable
T-Pain ft. The-Dream & Vantrese - Let Your Hair Down
John Carpenter - Night
Diassterpeace - It Follows (Theme)

Tuesday, 8 December 2015

Kam'll blam blam 'em

Both Kamaiyah's Out The Bottle and Lil' Debbie's Break It Down play like woman's interpretations of the sound DB Tha General ran with in 2007, but one song succeeds because it's an ode to booze, whilst the other song fails because it's a love letter to zoots - can you guess which song is which??

Kamaiyah ft. Zay M - Out The Bottle
(From YouTube; 2015)


Kamaiyah has become internet-sexy recently, so props to ANU for being the first person I saw to identify Out The Bottle as a slap back in the autumn. "Teh goat digger alan lomax regional tastemaker ceo" strikes again!

Monday, 7 December 2015

Just sayin', bruv # 12

Yep, it's the return of the column with more Actual Facts than Fat Joe mock-playing a double bass.


To Pimp A Butterfly confirmed that Kendrick Lamar is just the highfalutin Kid Ink: a great singles artist from the west coast who's incapable of making a good LP.

Snoop & Pharrell's R U A Freak never becoming a single is one of the biggest musical tragedies of 2015 since it's essentially the legitimate 10/10 jam Sensual Seduction could have been if the latter weren't merely a backing track to Snoop's version of the Beastie Boys' Sabotage video.

Meek Mill won the beef with Drake. Sure, Back To Back had a few killer zingers, and Meek's response was possibly the worst dis record of this century thus far, but Meek still goes to bed with Nicki Minaj every night, whilst Drake still spends every day hanging out with Abu Hamface O'Brien.

The de facto coldest dis record of 2015 was that 2nd Tsunami Boyz track to Kehlani where they crudely held her stolen laptop to ransom over one of her unreleased songs from the aforementioned stolen laptop.

People are really out here lamenting that J.Cole guested on Jeremih's Planes instead of Chance The Rapper like Chance didn't do his damnedest to ruin Justin Bieber's Confident by yodeling manic "Mork calling Orson" impersonations all over the song's final third.

Friday, 4 December 2015

The whole Byrd Gang's in here like Scott Weiland was here

Don't mind me, just wanted to be the first person on the 'net to make that pun.


World's most dangerous professions: soldier, rapper, wrestler, stuntman, grunge singer.

Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Late pass!

"It's a full time job f*ckin' lovin' yaself"

Junglepussy - Bling Bling
(From Satisfaction Guaranteed album; 2014)


As an equal opportunity hater, ya host will alway relish those rap songs with an Anybody Can Get It ethos, and boy-oh-boy does Junglepussy take neeky bastards and needy bitches alike to the mud on Bling Bling. You know who REALLY needs takin' to the mud, though? Junglepussy's main producer Shy Guy who continually laces her with beats which sound like he copped 'em off the UGHH.com production board. Dude is only partially responsible for Bling Bling here, which probably goes a long way in explaining why the song slaps in places his own beats barely even tickle, and this Junglepussy bird deserves so much better than a producer who is the DJ Solar of kooky N.Y rap.

Tuesday, 1 December 2015

Generic list post: back to the ice grillz again 1.5

Another list of great rap songs by unfashionable New York rappers, this time consisting of tracks from the last 5 years. You can keep Hot N*gga and you can stick A$AP Rocky, A$AP Ferg, Action Bronson and Azealia Banks up your arse as far as they'll fit. Me, I've spent the past half-decade in the company of these tunes instead:

A.G - Infected (2010)
Black Rob - Up North, This Is What It Is (2010)
Mysonne - In Jail (2011)
Ike Eyes - Blue Roxies (2011)
A-Mafia - Story Of My Life (2012)
Troy Ave - I Know Why You Mad (2012)
AZ - We Movin' (2013)
Agallah ft. Roc Marciano - Blaze Of Glory (2013)
J-Zone - Crib Issues (2013)
Uncle Murda ft. Rocko - Wu Wuu Wuuu (2013)
Kurious Jorge - Best In The World (2014)
Homeboy Sandman ft. J. Live & Kurious Jorge - Enough (2014)
JuJu ft. Tragedy Khadafi - Thriller (2014)
Psycho Les ft. Royal Flush, Tragedy Khadafi & Illa Ghee - Thunder Bells (2014)
Fabolous - Lituation (2014)

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