Friday, 21 July 2017

On West McNichols born and raised, Lane & Fair Block is where I spent most of my days


Allstar Lee - Fresh Prince Of Brick Mile
(From Fresh Prince Of Brick Mile single; 2017)



Via Tha Barber. File this under ‘song concepts you wish Peedi Crakk had flipped and turned upside down.’ Nonetheless, even that snarky bastard Geoffrey the butler couldn't fault the execution from everyone involved in this one.

What's up with Michigan rappers and the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air then? Remember when Willie The Kid made a song outta Willie The Smith tinkling his wine glass?

Thursday, 20 July 2017

R.I.P to Chester Bennington


Loved Maximo Park, me, m8.

But, seriously, Breaking The Habit was a legit jam. It's not a coincidence that the only good Linkin Park song was the one which Mike Shinoda didn't rap on.

Wednesday, 19 July 2017

Smokin' like runnin' hot water, better yet like runnin' hot lava

Lil' Wayne - Dinnertime
(From Tha Carter 3 sessions; 2008/2017)



T-Pain & Lil' Wayne - Listen To Me
(From T-Wayne sessions; 2009/2017)



Let's talk about how unreleased Wayne songs from 2008/2009 are some of the hottest shit of 2017.

Monday, 17 July 2017

Juan For All, Aux For One

Aux 88 - Electrotechno
(From Electrotechno EP; 1996)



On one hand, it could be argued that Aux 88 were sorta like a Jurassic 5 of Motor City Electro: retro-fetishists plundering a sound that had long since passed into history for their whole M.O. On the other hand, Detroit Electro was a sound which withered and died far too quickly in the '80s, leaving relatively few records for the headz who wanted to transform their Ford Fiestas into Cosmic Cars. Thus, the Aux lads' music felt very necessary when ya host first heard songs like Electrotechno, I Need To Freak and the Take Control remix of Electronic Warfare during their live set at Manchester's Bugged Out club night during the summer of 1996. They performed for a full hour in their trademark Michelin Man bubblegooses on a molten-hot night, and you've gotta respect any group who'll sweat out half their body weight just to maintain their look onstage.

Ironically, Aux 88 ended up being a decade too futuristic for their own good: they came to the UK during Gazza's gymnastics of Euro 1996 when they'd have been far better suited to Peter Crouch's robot-dancing of the 2006 world cup.

Saturday, 15 July 2017

Cat Tone part 2


"Bitch, I'm Fat Tone Jr./Stack A Dollar Jr. AKA Cat Tone!"

Yung Cat - OG Stack A Dollar
(From t'internet; 2017)



AKA a near-faithful remake of Fat Tone's OG Stack A Dollar. Prefer this to the O.G song meself because Yung Cat's twitchy goofiness is better suited to the spirit of the track than Fat Tone's hard-nosed champagne foulness.

Previously: Cat Tone.

Thursday, 13 July 2017

Why couldn't God have taken the annoying AZN kid from Indiana Jones & The Temple Of Doom instead of Fresh Kid Ice?


R.I.P to the AZN breh from 2 Live Crew, may a gazillion Lucy Liu lookalikes "nibble on (your) dick like a rat does cheese" for the rest of eternity in Chinaman Heaven. Remember Ice for being the first AZN rapper and the first rapper period to pose with his hand on his nuts for an album cover:


(No shotz @ Jonathan Ke Quan - loved your work in The Goonies, bruv.)

Wednesday, 12 July 2017

Generic list post: the best of Husalah



Most rap journalists ain't nothin' but models for pigeons on t-shirts, so fair play to David Drake for interviewing Husalah on Noisey. You wack like World Cups if you're not down with Golasoaso, so consider this to the soundtrack to Hus' kicking limitless wisdom to Drake about slaps and science:

Ride 'Til We Die [ft. C-Bo, Mob Figaz & 151] (1998)
Tailor Made [ft. Mob Figaz] (1999)
Die Young [ft. The Jacka & Too $hort] (2001)
Hus G. Rap [ft. Kool G. Rap] (2002)
Hustlin' Ass (2002)
Pigeon On T-Shirt [ft. The Jacka] (2005)
Since '88 (2005)
Hus Hudson Life (2005)
Blind World [ft. The Jacka] (2005)
Sleep With Da Fishes (Boom Clack) (2006)
Murder On My Mind (2006)
Cuttin' It Up [ft. B-Luv] (2006)
Through The Night (2006)
B.I.T.C.H [ft. Dru Down] (2006)
Frozen Heart (2006)
Shock The Place [ft. The Jacka] (2006)
Live Life Illegal (2006)
N*ggas Out There Mine [ft. The Jacka] (2006)
Talk It Out (2007)
Fighting The Feds (2007)
Yea Baby (2007)
Stupid Dumb (2007)
Gear (2007)
That Go [ft. B-Luv] (2008)
On The Streets (2009)
Lord You Know (2009)
Lightweight Jammin' [ft. E-40 & Clyde Carson] (2010)
You Neva Know (2010)
Loyal To The Mob [ft. Mob Figaz] (2011)
Da Mob (2011)
See The Dark (2015)

PS - never forget that this happened:



Somehow the rap game reminds me of the craic game!

Monday, 10 July 2017

Martorial elegance 3:16



Westwood is 59, Post Malone is 21. **Paul Joseph Watson voice** - let that sink in!

A$AP Folky using Stone Cold Steve Austin's entrance theme as his walk-on music at the Wireless festival has gotta be a top 3 most laughable thing he's ever done. That said, his #LifestyleSynergy game is strong on this one since he has form for wearing them Stonewashed Steve Austin Daisy Dukes.

"It's me, Austin! It was me all along, Austin!"

Saturday, 8 July 2017

Weekend with Berner

Since it's a brand new year, I got a brand new attitude and a brand new way to listen to an earnest weed farmer/rapper dude - yes, folks, Rey has really got me listening to Berner's solo shit! If 20 Joints is Exhibit A in the prosecution's case against those of us who believe Berner's career shoulda been confined to the 3 Drought Season albums with Jacka, then this eponymous solo slap has gotta be Exhibit A+:

Berner ft. Cait Da Lee - Berner
(From YouTube; 2007/Weekend At Bernies album; 2009)



Who are the other secrete Berner fans on the rap internet? Pipe up now with slap recommendations or forever hold thy fingers.

Friday, 7 July 2017

Big bunda babe in Manchester

Shout out to Arthur Lee, we in this bitch!

It's time to stop arsing about with J Hus remixes of Unforgettable and French Montana remixes of Did You See, and just Soke it to the summer by releasing Good Time as a single already. Shit's the song Mandem Anthem should have been, and, like Lean & Bop and Did You See, it's another killer example of how roadrapafrobeats can go pop without having stars & stripes in its eyes.

J Hus ft. Burna Boy - Good Time
(From Common Sense album; 2017)



This was the song ya host correctly identified as "some proper naughty LL Cool J Hus Afro-Bashment" when I caught it performed live before Common Sense dropped. Damn it feels good when a song lives up to its live debut performance.

Wednesday, 5 July 2017

All Damn Dre



Everyday is Mac Dre Day here at The Martorialist, but june 5th 2017 woulda been Dre's 47th birfday and even the fairweather fans are celebratin'. What ya favourite Furl slaps, blogga? Mines is these:

Young Black Brotha (1989)
Mac Dre Is Da Name (1989)
California Livin' (ft. Coolio Da Unda Dogg) (1991)
Da Gift To Gab (1991)
All Damn Day (1992)
On My Toes (1992)
Young Playah (1992)
2 The Double R (ft. Coolio Da Unda Dogg) (1993)
The Romp Y'All (1993)
I'm N Motion (1993)
Back 2 My Mission (1997)
Livin' That Life (1997)
Life's A Bitch (1998)
Nothin' Correctable (1998)
Real N*ggaz (1998)
Rapper Gone Bad (1999)
Off Tha Rictor (2000)
Black Buck Rogers (2000)
X.O. & Remi (2000)
So Hard (2001)
Bleezies-N-Heem (2001)
Monday Thru Sunday (2002)
Dipped When You See Me (2003)
The Pain (2003)
Something You Should Know (2003)
Feelin' Myself (2004)
Fa My N*ggaz (2004)
Dreganomics (2004)
Me Damac (2004)
Witme?? (2004)
Since '84 (2004)
She Neva Seen (2004)
Not My Job (2004)
My Alphabets (ft. Suga Free & Rappin' 4-Tay) (2004)
I Feed My Bitch (ft. Keak Da Sneak & B.A) (2004)
California Bear (2004)
Dredio (ft. Mac Mall & E-40) (2005)
Cadillac Girl (Remix) (ft. Andre Nickatina) (2008)
Pawns In The Game (2014)

Sunday, 2 July 2017

It's a Don Bradman t'ing

"No doubt about it, hon', I hit from here to China
When I drop that D minor watch me soggy ya vagina"


Grand Puba ft. Kid - A Little Of This
(From 2000 album; 1995)



Very much underrated in the pantheon of Summer Jams™, A Little Of This was "that nu-wave BBQ music, bitch!" long before Where Do I Go. Betcha this is Puba's own favorite single from his catalogue since he got to floss it up somewhere in The Hamptons on Elektra Records' dime for the video with DJ Alamo & Stud Doogie. Ina da wudz, ona da jetskiz, ova da moon that Sylvia Rhone finally stumped up a decent video budget - it's ya boy Grand Goocha!



Kid's harmonising on this shit might be the missing link between Jiggy and Wavy. In a perfect world, every song on 2000 would have featured his dulcet tones smoothing things out.

Friday, 30 June 2017

Generic list post: June 2017


Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when Juice from Wentworth licked her last pussy, and Prodigy + Grip Plyaz rapped their last verses. Why's it always gotta be the rappers who I like who cark it? And why's EttelThun the only other person on the rap internet wot watches Wentworth?

Mobb Deep - If These Walls Could Talk (2001)
Valee - Seen That Before (2017)
OMB Peezy - Porch (2017)
J-Diggs ft. Young Global & SB Shmack - 2nd Guessin' (2017)
Ricky Smith - Phone System (1991)
Brand New Heavies - I Don't Know Why.. (Kenny Dope Mix) (2006)
8 Bit Universe - XO Tour Llif3 (2017)

Other notables: listened to the new 2 Chainz album and couldn't find anything on there that's even half as good as MFN Right or Diamonds Talkin' Back; listened to the new Young Thug album and was bored by everything on there except Me Or Us; alas If Heaven Had A Cellphone by Bone Thugs & Tank was a better song title than a song; someone needs to tell A-Wax to lay off the Auto-Tune and hop off Atlanta's jock; someone should probably tell T.E.C & Maine Musik the same since their Spider Nation project lacks any kind of regional identity; thankfully Level & Mouse On Tha Track + Jay Lewis popped up with some proper Baton Rouge rap; the WNC lads did the same with Crew Bang, but I only really dig their shtick over Trel Itz A Hit production; wouldn't touch a 2017 Jay-Z album with yours, m8.

Wednesday, 28 June 2017

Push me to the edge, all my friends are Gadd


8 Bit Universe - XO Tour Llif3
(From Radio 8 Bit, Vol. 2 album; 2017)




Mushroom help the pain, yeah! Finally ya host & other gentlemen of a certain age can enjoy that Lil' Uzi Vert choon without feeling like Ken Kaniff. Joint best cover version of 2017 alongside Yung Cat's OG Stack A Dollar, imho.

Sunday, 25 June 2017

King Vulture, Infamous soldier, G-Unit gorilla, R.I.P

Prodigy - Raining Guns & Shanks
(From the Return Of The Mac sessions; 2007)



Night of the living notty heads, rebel soldier without a pause. You not an insurgent, please go home if you don't recognise and realise Raining Guns & Shanks as the G.O.A.T officially-unreleased Prodigy deep cut. Alchemist really shoulda stumped up some of his own Shady/trustfund money to clear that J.B's sample on this one - if The Grunt was good enough for P.E twice on It Takes A Nation Of Millions... then it was good enough for V.I.P once on Return Of The Mac.


Sparty's on the photoshop, tell the rest of the crew. It's funny because of the aforementioned pissed off ravers who really bought Return Of The Mac thinking it was a new album by The Prodigy.

Saturday, 24 June 2017

U Bet It Did!

#iBetUWontChallange 1M views. #EverythingOnBlossom🌸🌷🌺 @itslevelbaby @famousamos_sofunny @koo_shotya

A post shared by Mouseonthatrack (@mouse.datme) on


Pardon the pun, but you know the viral dance challenge era of rap is a great leveler for all artists when it can propel I Bet U Won't to a million views on YouTube in just over a month. Dat Mega, especially for Mouse.

The proper new Level & Mouse single ain't half bad either. It's not another 5 Star General Jiggalator in the vein of I Bet U Won't and Get It Back, more a soundtrack to Baton Rouge club brawls à la the Going Down G-Mix or GYAB:

Level ft. Mouse On Tha Track & Jay Lewis - #DFWT
(From YouTube; 2017)


Thursday, 22 June 2017

Everything's fine but I'm in a 2007 state of mind

"Fell in love with the guwop
Startin' beefin' and fell in love with them glocks
Don't fuck with the cops, but they comin' if you want it or not
I'm just preppin' ya brain for the shit you say you wanna be 'bout"


OMB Peezy - Porch
(From YouTube; 2017)



Yer calender says 2017, but the Lay Down kid just dropped the best lost Bad Azz Mixtape, Vol. 2-era Boosie song innit. Let the record show that Peezy is now 5 for 5 since he started takin' rap seriously: Lay Down, Interracial Relations, When I was Down, Loyalty Over Love (Intro), and Porch here. Livin' the fast life of no duds, droppin' 5 songs in a row and all of 'em are good.

Wednesday, 21 June 2017

Why couldn't God have taken Sherm The Worm instead of Prodigy?

Tell the bossman real M.O.B.B mavens know the dilly, yo.

There's a war goin' on inside no man is safe from, you can run but you can't hide forever from a dicky immune system. Damn, dunny - you know there's no dignity in death and the universe is just a neverending megacosm of cruel irony when the thun emporer P Dubb goes out like Lord Jamar in OZ. Survival of the fittest, only the vegans survive?

Remember Prodigy for what he brought to the table in numerous fields (music, killer opening lines, proto-#problematicness, menswear, bloggin', epitomizing short-man syndrome, sonnin' Joe Budden, talkin' shit about other rappers on street DVDs, havin' an album sponsored by InfoWars.com), and never forget the time he pissed off ravers who accidentally bought Return Of The Mac thinking it was a new album by The Prodigy.

Whether P has ended up at the Pearly Gates with G.O.D or deep in the Valley of Hinnom where it rains guns & shanks for eternity you can guarantee that King Vulture turned up wearing an XXL Avirex, blowing an ill wind in his enemy's directions. Keep your joints zipped up all times, hands in the pockets all times, it's real in the afterlife.

Tuesday, 20 June 2017

Generic list post: 20 from 2017


Half-yearly round up of the best rap songs of 2017 thus far as according to moi, including unreleased joints which finally saw the light of day this year, tracks from 2015/2016 which only popped this year and are now essential to the 2017 experience, songs from late december 2016 which body pretty much anything released in 2017, a song which currently only exists as 2 Instagram snippets, and even a couple of Roadrapfrobeats jams by British lads of African descent. F*ck being a good year for rap, ya host's 2017 is complicated.

Camp Lo - Camp Lo (Bust Ya Down)
T-Pain & Lil' Wayne - Listen To Me
MF DOOM & Madlib - Avanlache
Level ft. Mouse On Tha Track - I Bet U Won't
Valee - Shell
OMB Peezy - Lay Down
Quelle Chris - Buddies
Creek Boyz - With My Team
Dru Down - My 501's
Street Knowledge - Dru Down Flow
Migos - T-Shirt
Yung Cat - 2Chop Stickz
Ayo & Teo - Lit Right Now
BallGreezy ft. Lil' Dred - Nice & Slow
SOB X RBE - Humble
Rich Homie Quan - Word Of Mouth
Que Almighty ft. 70th Street Carlos & JMM Larry - Put On That Gang
Ya Boy Big Choo - Hustla Remix (snippets)
J Hus - Did You See
MoStack - Let It Ring

Saturday, 17 June 2017

Beware the dial Tone


"Get ya Kangol twist quick
Ya bitch get lipstick smeared on her seat tryna duck from the heat"


Fat Tone - Ima Getcha
(From Tha Stick Up Kid album; 2003)



If Not Guilty was the definitive Fat Tone, then Ima Getcha was the next best thing. Mouth on Tony, rapping like he was lasooing words with his tongue. Champagne foulness, exhibition mob musik.

Unfortunately, that line in the 3rd verse about a car gettin' flipped by gunfire is what led to the #FakeNews in California that Fat Tone was subliminally bragging about killing Mac Dre on record, even though Ima Getcha was released a good year or so before that night on the Route 71 highway.

Wednesday, 14 June 2017

Generic list post: 2010's late pass! (non-rap shit)


They might not be new to you, but they're new to me: top 20 old non-rap legit jams ya host has discovered since 2010. Shouts out to Fiona Bruce, we in this bitch!

Andre Williams - Bacon Fat (1956)
Gene Vincent - Cat Man (1957)
The Animals - Inside Looking Out (1966)
Rodriguez - Only Good For Conversation (1970)
The Voices of East Harlem - Run Shaker Life (1971)
Ronnie Hazelhurst - Are You Being Served? (Movie Theme) (1977)
Linda Clifford - Runaway Love (12" version) (1978)
Mavis John - Use My Body (1981)
Glory - Let's Get Nice (7" version) (1981)
Haircut One Hundred - Ski Club (1982)
Bananarama - He's Got Tact (1983)
The Style Council - Party Chambers (1983)
Gherkin Jerks - Strange Creatures (1989)
Moodymann - Lake Shore Drive (1995)
Larry Heard - Missing You (1999)
Another Chance - Everytime I See Her (Sound of Eden) (2006)
Cat Power - Ramblin' (Wo)man (2007)
Spice - Jim Screechie (2009)
Depeche Mode - Ghost (2009)
Kyla - Daydreaming (2009)

Honourable mention: Heart Full Of Soul by The Yardbirds AKA the song sampled in Jacka's Murder Somebody. Cheers to DJ Paul U.K for the spot.

Monday, 12 June 2017

Jerk Diggsler

"I ripped her out of a bar
I whipped her into a car
then flipped her into a star
And she ain't have no n*gga, now she got one
And she ain't have no money, but she got some
She lookin' for a square but I'm not one
And now she sock it to my pocket like a shotgun"


J-Diggs ft. Young Global & SB Shmack - 2nd Guessin'
(From 2nd Guessin' single; 2017)



File this under ‘the Vapors, Vallejo stylee.’

'Tis the season to keep one's radar peeled for summer slaps, and 2nd Guessin' here was designed to be blumped windows down, tops off. It's a funny old world where NorCal mob music producers are now the ones keeping Ultimate Breaks & Beats staples like The Champ alive - another L for east coast hip hop 4 eLeMeNtZ survivalists.

Ain't gon' lie - the main lass in this is ya host's favourite video-chick since her in the orange from J Hus' Lean & Bop video.

Thursday, 8 June 2017

Why couldn't God have taken someone from Awful Records instead of Grip Plyaz?


Fuck! A sincere R.I.P to he who moonlighted as ShyDney Poitier AKA Mr. It Ain't Hip To Be A Hipster. Time goes about its relentless work of making everyone look and feel like shit until we pop our Vans, but Grip Plyaz's music will live on for doz of us who appreciate D4L and Dungeon Fam in equal measure.

Perennially underrated, Grip was the rapper whom the whole ALT-lanta rap scene owe their careers to, Webster's definition of a #problematicfavourite, and an absolute guv'nor at makin' a lot out of a little, as my best of Grip Plyaz playlist still proves. Let's hope homie went out all cum blazin' the way he wanted.



So, so sad. Young Thug said it best.

Wednesday, 7 June 2017

VALEEWAVE

Valee - Seen That Before
(From 1988 mixtape; 2017)



AESTHETIC: MC Hammer meets Macintosh Plus.

REALITY: the 2nd best song Ca$h-Out has never made.

It's tempting to say that a song as short as Seen That Before could do with another minute on its bones, but this shit is already 13 seconds longer than the original version, and Dr. Frankenstein-ing a new verse on for the sake of it doesn't necessarily improve a song as proven by the extended version of the 1st best song Ca$h-Out has never made:

Valee - Shell
(From 12:12 mixtape; 2016)



VALEE minus: NO EXTENDED VERSIONS plz!

Doffed cap to Drake and Drew for both pointing me in the direction of Valee. Shell can also be found on ya host's 2017 late pass playlist.

Monday, 5 June 2017

Born to Audiomack: late pass 2017 edition (updated)

Never stop 'macking, I'm always rolling like Fat Trel's most underrated song: updated this playlist with recent old gems which were new to me by Level & Mouse On Tha Track, N.O.R.E, and Mobb Deep. Treble 180 in 2017.



"Cheers, guv'" to the U.K's own DJ Paul on the latter two finds.

Friday, 2 June 2017

Bun B sez SPM INNOCENT !!!!!!!!!!

Via Nyquil, get a load of Bun B in a SPM t-shirt chumming it up and freestyling with the serial Charlie Chester himself:


Not particularly surprising that Uncle Bun and South Park Mickey Mars Bar would get on like the proverbial house on fire since Houston rap has a long history of Noncin' On Wax, beginning with UGK's own Pregnant Pussy and the Street Military song which inspired it.

Best part of the cipher is when SPM's weed carrier Rasheed got so open goin' off the top of the dome he had to put a rubberband around his head to keep his 3rd eye vision in check:


As is the case with any SPM video on the 'Tube, there's at least one #woke truther in the comments who maintains that Mr. Wiggy Wiggy was set up. Plot twist: IT WOZ BUN WOT DONE IT!

Wednesday, 31 May 2017

Generic list post: May 2017



Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when VladTV took an unexpected turn.

N.O.R.E - Colors (2002)
T-Pain & Lil' Wayne - Listen To Me (2009/2017)
T-Pain & Lil' Wayne - Waist Of A Wasp (2009/2017)
Level ft. Mouse On Tha Track - I Bet U Won't (2015)
Creek Boyz - With My Team (2017)
Yung Cat - 2Chop Stickz (2017)
Yung Cat - Killa City Party (2017)
Yung Cat ft. Jay Melody - Jockin' Me (2017)
J Hus - Leave Me (2017)
J Hus ft. Tiggs Da Author - Good Luck Chale (2017)
J Hus - Plottin' (2017)
J Hus ft. Burna Boy - Good Time (2017)
Style Council - Long Hot Summer (Chuggz Refix) (1983/2017)

Other notables: the new BallGreezy song SE found is one of those killer summer jams that's unfortunately destined for obscurity; not impressed by any of the 3 Mozzy & Gunplay tracks so far; for better or worse, Sleep Dank's U Lose Chris exists because of me.

Tuesday, 30 May 2017

Another prick in the 300 wall

Lyor Cohen may have bounced to pastures YouTube, but 300 Entertainment are up to their old tricks again by tinkering with songs they've acquired the official retail/streaming rights to. This past Friday saw OMB Peezy's Lay Down + When I Was Gone, and the Creek Boyz With My Team hit all the big retail/streaming outlets, and each song had been tampered with to its detriment; the changes are subtle production alterations rather than the bolted-on new verses 300 acquisitions were known for in the past, but the tweaks are still significantly jarring for anyone who's spent time jamming the Hell outta any of the 3 songs. The parts no longer fit, awwww shit!

This is precisely why we can't have nice things. It's also why we must make do with low-bitrate Soundcloud rips, and why YouTube remains the G.O.A.T streaming service for rap, at least until Lyor gains more control of its machinations.

HEY LILES - LEAVE THEM SONGS ALONE!

Sunday, 28 May 2017

Cat Tone

New school shit for old school whips, Kansas City style:

Yung Cat - Killa City Party
(From Only In Killa City: FTJ Vol. 1 album; 2017)



Nowt fancy, just the two highlight's of Yung Cat's tribute album to Kansas City's late and occasionally great hometown hero Fat Tone. Mam always told me there'd be slaps like this.

Yung Cat ft. Jay Melody - Jockin' Me
(From Only In Killa City: FTJ Vol. 1 album; 2017)


Friday, 26 May 2017

Chale don't surf

"I'm in Aunty's yard with the crooks
The money makes up for the looks
Death comin', I ain't stickin' to the deadline
Tell them boys better luck next time"


J Hus ft. Tiggs Da Author - Good Luck Chale
(From Common Sense album; 2017)



Another understated fave from the J Hus album: Death Around The Corner mode, Behind Bars HMP as the fixed-abode. This shit is remarkable in that it finally puts an artist as Godawful as Tiggs Da Author to good use on the roadrapafrobeats Many Men as set in Porridge.

Don't get it twisted, though - as 2Shin once said, it's still open season on all self-styled Authors and Novelists until we've seen their Goodreads lists.

Wednesday, 24 May 2017

Startin' to see Hustles on Westbank


That feeling when this song still only exists as a handful of Instagram snippets. Is this what it feels like to be a Young Thug stan?

Monday, 22 May 2017

Generic list post: P.H.I.L.L.Y


It was monday night and I'm feelin' kinda like Gillie, fell down a wormhole of rap outta Philly. Not remotely high or even slightly drunk, so I threw together a generic list of my Top 20 Philadelphia jawns:

Schoolly D - Saturday Night (1986)
Cool C - Juice Crew Dis (1987)
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Summertime (1991)
Beanie Sigel - Get Down (2001)
Freeway ft. Peedi Crakk - Flipside (2003)
DJ Jazzy Jeff & Peedi Crakk - Brand New Funk 2k7 (2007)
Tuff Crew - Behold The Detonator (1989)
Boone - Pop A Perc (2015)
Steady B - Just Call Us Def (1985)
Three Times Dope - Funky Dividends (1988)
Meek Mill ft. Young Chris - House Party (2011)
Cash Money & Marvellous - The Mighty Hard Rocker (1988)
Philly's Most Wanted - Suckas (2001)
Krown Rulers - Paper Chase (1988)
RAM Squad - Unfortunate (1996)
Ms. Jade ft. Timbaland & Nelly Furtado - Ching Ching (2002)
Ice City - They Ain't Ride'n (2004)
Young Gunz - Can't Stop, Won't Stop (2003)
Princess Superstar - Bad Babysitter (2002)
Phill Most Chill - On Tempo Jack (1988)

Bonus beats: never forget the O.G version of MC Breeze's DiscombobulatorBubalator AKA the song which pioneered #problematic AZN stereotyping in rap before DJ Louie Lou, Ice Cube, or Bun B.

PS: gimme The Goats over The Roots any day.

Sunday, 21 May 2017

2 Thizz 2 Furlious

That post ya boy wrote about the time Ludacris met Mac Dre went stupid doo doo viral and got outta hand: over 100 thousand views in under a month, Dre fans goin' at Luda across various social media platforms, Luda responding to the accusations, and Nump from Thizzler News stepping in to play Farrakhan. Calm was restored until one of Dre's Vallejo weed carriers from way back just popped up with a Luda dis track, and now it's Super Sig time all over again:

"Pimp C said it was gay rappers from Atlanta
But the homie died before he could explain that one
I think one of them is you
Ol' lightskinned Beetlejuice headass-dude
You and Dre had a conversation in the bathroom
About the Playaz Circle album but you passed, dook
Then you turned around, boy, and did some f*ck shit
You and Fatlip impersonated some funk shit
But f*ck Fatlip too, y'all should apologise
'Cause I ain't got no respect for The Pharcyde
But as far as I could see, boy, it's a lotta lies
You couldn't fit Mac Dre's shoes or condom size
NO HOMO, N*GGA!"


Sleep Dank - U Lose Chris
(From Soundloud; 2017)




This weekend's 2nd best beef after Mickey Rourke versus Funkmaster Flex or wot?

Friday, 19 May 2017

Sang By Me


♬ "Everyday we on our grind
Baltimore too many n*ggas dying
Gotta watch out for me and mine
Everyday I'm with my team" ♬


Creek Boyz - With My Team
(From YouTube; 2017)



Camaraderie as the best defense against calamity, Friends Forever on The Corner. It ain't no fun if the homies can't sang none: who'd a thunk Baltimore would be the place whence Barbershop-Bop was born? Best Speaker Knockerz-influenced bubblegum-rap tuneage by some random young'ns since Ayo & Teo's Lit Right Now.

Thursday, 18 May 2017

Tuesday, 16 May 2017

Smoke a blogga like a Newport

Did you see what N.O.R.E done? Came with a remake of Ice-T's Colors that's just been discovered by Step One:

N.O.R.E - Colors
(From some obscure white label 12"; 2002)



Unlike Game's Buddens, this shit is a proper Colors remake in that N.O.R.E sticks to Ice's O.G script but flips specific details with his own twist of New York slime. At a guess, this was probably recorded for N.O.R.E's 2002 album on Def Jam since Ice-T briefly appeared on that CD foreal foreal, and Lord knows that album coulda done with a few more jams other than the Neptunes anthems.

Monday, 15 May 2017

Late pass!

Thanx to the #BetYouWontChallenge, a previously little-known Level & Mouse On Tha Track cut from 2015 is currently one of the biggest songs in Baton Rouge. Good thing the song's gotten a new lease of life too because this one is a grand imperial jiggalator in the vein of Get It Back and we've all slept on it until now:

Level ft. Mouse On Tha Track - I Bet U Won't
(From Level's Authentic album; 2015/YouTube; 2017)



Level & Mouse did Ya Boy Big Choo dirty by featuring that biter Peter Pan Dan up in this video. Surprised Dan's even got time to appear in rap videos these days now he's a rising star on Arsenal FanTV, tbqh.

#WengerOut #PulisIn

Friday, 12 May 2017

Capri Sun and Wotsits

"Now me & him got beef and we no longer speak
Still walk his nan across the street
Still put that motherf*cker in a body bag
Still help his mother with her shopping bag"


J Hus - Leave Me
(From Common Sense album; 2017)



Roadrapfrobeats like du-du-du-du-du-du. Buncha choonz on this J Hus debut album, the best of which fit his aesthetic like a pair of Universal Works almond rocks fit your plates of meat (G.O.A.T socks or wot? #BuyBritish!) What's missing from the album, however, is Dem Boy Paigon and Lean & Bop; couldn't give a monkey's uncle that both songs are now 2 years old - the anthems that reputations are built on should always appear on debut albums, even if it's just as bonus tracks innit.

Thursday, 11 May 2017

Generic list post: legit jams of Louisiana 2010 - 2017


Bounce or brawn, Mardi Gras or Murder-Rap, whodunit or whydoit, Super Sunday or saturday night, arses that look like 2 planets in a hankey or arses flatter than a B.o.B's eye view of the Earth - wherever you stand on any of these pertinent issues, the past 7 years of Louisiana rap have a Legit Jam™ 4 U:

TRILL Fam - Turn The Beat Up (2010)
Curren$y - Michael Knight (2010)
Fiend & Curren$y - Executive Brass (2010)
The Show ft. Mannie Fresh - Enough About You (2010)
Max Minelli - Louisiana Sky (2010)
Young Bleed - Stamp On It (2011)
Webbie ft. Lil' Phat - What's Happenin'? (2011)
Lil' Phat ft. Mannie Fresh - Talk Some Mo' Shit (2011)
Mouse On Tha Track - Raise A Finger (2012)
Lil' Trill & Shell - Futuristic Lingo (2012)
Foxx - I Wonder (2012)
$hizz ft. Foxx - Send Ya Hit Man (2012)
Que Tha Truth - King Tut (2012)
Mystikal - Hit Me (2012)
Kevin Gates - Neon Lights (2013)
Point Blank Fam ft. Kevin Gates - Roller Coaster (2013)
Lil' Wayne ft. 2 Chainz - Rich As Fuck (2013)
Mista Cain ft. Young Ready & DJ B-Real - Mind Right (2013)
5th Ward Weebie - Let Me Find Out (2013)
Level ft. Mouse On Tha Track - Get It Back (2014)
Boosie BadAzz - No Juice (2014)
Ya Boy Big Choo - Is It The Shoes? (2015)
Paco Troxclair - Going Duffy (2015)
Maine Musik - Social Media Gangsta (2015)
T.E.C & Maine Musik - Ain't No Comin' Down (2016)
Eat 'Em - Trophy (2016)
WNC Da Label - Die 'Bout It (2016)
70th Street Carlos - Keep A Glock (2016)
Team Toon ft. Ya Boy Big Choo - My Hot Girl (2016)
NBA YoungBoy - 38 Baby (2016)

PS: never forget the tragic aftermath of Dhat Fam & Mista's Expose 1.

**EDIT** PG hit this playlist with the Milq treatment.

Sunday, 7 May 2017

Plus I'll tell ya what the 80s like!

"I'm at my motherfuckin' vacatation home
because it's gonna be a motherfuckin' hot summer
....... for everybody!



French-beret tip to mon mate Tomo for hippin' me to this re-edit of the Style Council song where Paul Weller's switch from Beef & Onion to Prawn Cocktail hella paid off. This re-edit extends the "shiddy-diddy-diddy-doo-bop"s into a hypnotic mantra to stimulate the alpha-waviness in your noggin, and reveals that Long Hot Summer practically invented Vaporwave. It's even more of jam, Jim, but not as ex-The Jam fanboys know it:

Style Council - Long Hot Summer (Chuggz Refix)
(From the Yacht Rock Chuggz Soundcloud page; 2017)


Friday, 5 May 2017

...with a Jolly Rancher in her mouth!

The kid Donal AKA Mac Guinness swung through my comments with a Jacka obscurity neither of us have heard before. A little finger-work reveals it's from some obscure 2001 compilation, but it was clearly recorded sometime in the 90s. Not only does this sound pre-Mob Figaz, it sounds pre-Jacka from the era when he called himself Ouiny Mac.

Ouiny Mac AKA The Jacka - Mac Hand
(From ????; 199?/360 Records presents The Surfacing CD; 2001)



That bass! Studio Ton on the track?

Thursday, 4 May 2017

Just sayin', bruv # 15

Yung Cat - 2Chop Stickz
(From YouTube; 2017)



The unlikely scenario where B.o.B trumps Mob Figaz: Yung Cat's refix of 4 Lit is a better 2017 Husalah song than Husalah's actual 2017 song. C'mon, bruh-bruhs - that M.O.B shit sounds like the worst of Tonka Boyz Husalah, and who wants a Buck Rogers Years redux of that era?

Plus, the best Hus song of 2017 is by an entirely different Hus altogether:

J Hus - Did You See
(From Did You See single; 2017)



Caught our Hus live in Liverpool last night and he debuted a couple of new songs from his upcoming album that sound like some proper naughty LL Cool J Hus Afro-Bashment.

Tuesday, 2 May 2017

Late pass!

St. Lunatics - Gimme What You Got
(From Gimme What You Got single; 1997)



Check out the synchronised New Edition dance moves goin' on here! Had no idea the St. Lunatics began life in 1997 with Ali in the Busta Rhymes role and Nelly playing his position as the group's Spliff Star. Gimme What You Got ain't a jam of Ride Wit' Me stock, but I'm always down to find out that multiplatinum noughties rap groups had a Jiggy random-rap nineties past.

Sunday, 30 April 2017

Generic list post: April 2017



Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when thit happenth. The month when holy grails turned up online wholly incomplete. The month when Stormzy's "I come to your team and I f*ck shit up, I'm David Moyes" line came to fruition yet again.

Dru Down - Weak Move (1993)
Luniz - Stupid (1994)
Teddy ft. Dru Down & Yukmouth - Are You In The Mood? (1996)
Valee - Shell (2016)
Quelle Chris - Buddies (2016)
DJ Quik & Problem - Move Something (2017)
Kendrick Lamar - LUST. (2017)
Nef The Pharaoh ft. Slimmy B - Bling Blaow (2017)
Rich Homie Quan - Word Of Mouth (2017)
Kevin MacLeod - Black Vortex (2013)

Other notables: Que Tha Truth's song with 3/4 of Cross Me goes beserk like Red Alert but didn't quite make its way into my regular rotation; Kap G let Lil' Skateboard P down on Icha Gicha; quite like Kodak Black's Patty Cake, but still haven't heard a song of his that's as good as Lockjaw; French Montana & Swae Lee's Unforgettable really should have been a Rae Sremmurd song; Jimmy Wopo's Elm Street 2 suffers from the same problems as the 2nd Freddy movie; AZ's Save Them with Raekwon & Prodigy is just an aged rehash of the Doe Or Die remix and I've already got See The Light if I want one of those; prefer SOB X RBE's Humble to Kendrick Lamar's HUMBLE.; also prefer Bruno Mali's New Skool Ol' Skool to his HA remake.

Friday, 28 April 2017

Where was you at when we was gettin' on COPS?

"Icy neck fulla rocks, this bitch I wear'll make the Titanic stop"

Nef The Pharaoh ft. Slimmy B - Bling Blaow
(From The Chang Project compilation; 2017)



More like Bling Blap amirite? Nef The Pharaoh's recent output has hit like Aaron Ramsey at the proverbial barn door, but this shit hits like bass in Husalah's car. Unlike Everything Big, this one is a Nef track which does live up to its Instagram preview snippet:


Brief thoughts on The Chang Project then: where's the slap with Mannie Fresh at? Rappers who tease previews of songs on Instagram and then take dumb long to drop them need to start getting fined. $25 per week sounds like a good starting price for late fee offenders.

Thursday, 27 April 2017

Fixxed up

"Grab that cheek with 1 hand, use the other for glasses
It's a rookie-dookie party in here, lots of new asses
Who gon' shake it the fastest? Who push slow like molasses?
I'm just tryna thow some Georges, I ain't lookin' for passes
I turn this dope into ashes, I"m like German, I'm fascist
That means I like to f*ck they faces, eat on titties that's flappy"


DJ Quik & Problem - Move Something
(From Rosecrans album; 2017)



DJ Quik's got a problem fixxer and his name is, um, Problem. Why? Because a decade on from 2007, Move Something is the song Can U Werk Wit Dat shoulda been. If Kap G's recent Icha Gicha track was some half-arsed booty-chatter, then Move Something here is a prime sirloin rumpshaker.

The unlikely highlight of the new tracks on this expanded version of Rosecrans or wot?

Wednesday, 26 April 2017

LudaThizz: when Ludacris met Mac Dre

Ludacris - Get Back
(From The Red Light District album; 2004)



Tonight's winning pub quiz question: which rapper inspired the over-familiar local rap CEO Ludacris finds lurking in the men's toilet in Get Back's video? Answer: Mac Dre, with the video being based on an actual IRL chance encounter between the 2 rappers at some point during 2004.

Allegedly, the story unfurls summat like this: Ludacris is in Oakland for a show and is taking a slash in the venue's backstage bathroom when a pilled-up Mac Dre approaches him outlining a plan for Playaz Circle to release an album on Thizz Entertainment, and an invitation for Luda to come to his studio to record a song together. Ludacris politely declines both offers, but is so bemused by Mac Dre's demeanour he decides to recreate an elaborated version of events in his next single's video, in which the director Spike Jonze hires Fatlip from The Pharcyde to impersonate Dre. Mac Dre doesn't even get an opportunity to give Ludacris the Little Bruce treatment as payback because Def Jam drops the Get Back video a mere 8 days after Dre's death in november 2004. To this very day, Mac Dre's close friends like PSD are still furious with Ludacris (though PSD had previous issues), and Luda can count himself very lucky he never found himself alone in a bathroom with Mac Minister (no George Michael.)

Who emerges from this unfortunate tale with the least dirt on their hands - Ludacris for poking fun an intoxicated Oakland underground legend trying to network with a bonafide star? Def Jam for releasing a video mocking a recently deceased rapper? Fatlip for metaphorically stabbing a fellow west coast rapper in the back? Or Mac Dre for not observing the proper etiquette when tryna discuss business in a public toilet?

Monday, 24 April 2017

Nervous rapper on a $4 Jazz sample

Enter Quelle Chris - age 20-something, and where some men leave a mark of their lives as a record of their fragmentary existence on Earth, this man leaves a blot: a dusty Bandcamp account to document a cheap and undistinguished sojourn amongst Detroit's legions of backpack-rappers. What you're about to hear on Buddies is a strange sort of mortal combat, where a rapper whose career has been given over to fighting unfavourable comparisons finds Me, Myself & I in Friend Or Foe. There was a rumble-jumble, just under 4 minutes it lasted, the mirror said "y'all are, you neurotic bastard!"

"I look in the mirror
Like who is that n*gga?
I'm cool with that n*gga
I'm through with these n*ggas"


Quelle Chris - Buddies
(From Being You Is Great, I Wish I Could Be You More Often LP; 2017)



Exit Quelle Chris - formerly a reflection in a mirror, a fragment of his own ego, a wishful thinker made out of glass, but now made out of flesh, juggling self-doubt and self-confidence like Bobby May, and on his way to join the company of other backpack rappers whose Jansports are filled with eccentricity rather than earnestness. Mr. Quelle Chris, with one foot through the door into Legit Jam™ land and one foot out of the Bandcamp Zone.

(Featured this song on my recent late pass! playlist, but it really does deserve its own post now it has a video. Truly yours ain't heard a backpack tune this quick to whip up a script like Rod Sterling since Madvillain's Avanlache.)

Sunday, 23 April 2017

Long silky hair so he don't care about brims

More proof that Dru Down's closet coulda kept his whole 'hood fly for five years back in the 90s - bitch, we fitted! You gotta acknowledge what he did in Cobra's Sliden video, menswear blogga:


Don't even front like Husalah's Gear wasn't cut from the same cloth as Yukmouth's Stuntastic. The fashions may have changed, but what is "that's the colour of guacamole on ya nacho" if not "cherry Blossom Louis Vuitton on some golf shorts" in different tones & textures for your Arm Leg Leg Arm Head, yaddamean?

Friday, 21 April 2017

Where U At?

Jimmy Wopo - Elm Street 2
(From YouTube; 2017)



Alas, not a Jimmy Wopo part deux of the Walkin' Bomb 2 calibre. Also weirdly analogous to the Nightmare On Elm Street movie franchise in that it's a patchy follow-up to a classic. Somebody shoulda told Wopo that rappers are only supposed to record sequels to songs which were misfires - that way the fans don't end up disappointed and the rapper doesn't look desperate.

Still, at least we now know what happened to the bizzy who Wopo kidnapped at the end of the Elm Street video, because there's far too many rap vids with "To Be Continued..." cliffhangers left unresolved foreverever. It's tragic enough that Slim Dunkin died IRL, let alone that his little lad who was abducted from a parking garage in the Blindside video is now pretend-lost for eternity like the rap video equivalent of Keith Bennett. Holla back, missing young'ns!

Thursday, 20 April 2017

Born to Audiomack: late pass! (2017 edition)

Ol' Martorialist had a new ongoing playlist
E.I like Nelly, (Ooh, Ooh, Ooh)

And on this playlist he had some non-2017 joints he's either discovered or had an epiphany with over the past 4 months
E.I like Nelly, Wu Wuu Wuuu

With a Dru Down here, and a Camp Lo there, here a Eightball & MJG, there a Toon & Ya Boy Big Choo, and everywhere a Quelle Chris

Ol' Martorialist posted the aforemented new ongoing playlist
E.I like Nelly, I never liked OOOUUU



**EDIT** Audiomack switched their whole system up and done f*cked everything up. Click on the playlist to take you to the page and jam that shit.

Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Got the phone in the back of my Levi's

Rich Homie Quan - Heart Cold
(From Back To The Basics album; 2017)



Red tabs on the red carpet, Japanese looms over ya Fruit Of The Looms. Is it a coincidence that Rich Homie Quan's Return To Form™ corresponds with him switching from Robin's to Levi's? #Menswear expert Dr. Dru reckons not. Good as Heart Cold and Replay are, ya host is not entirely sold on the "QUAN'S BACK!" narrative quietly gathering steam on t'internet, mind, because neither of 'em go quite as hard as his one Legit Jam of 2016 (the Martorialist edit, natch!) If not exactly a Return To Form™ then it's definitely a return from the wilderness. Maybe Quan realised Mike Ashley is the Birdman of the Tyne? Maybe YFN Lucci was just keeping Quan's spot warm after all?

**EDIT** After spending some quality time with this album, Word Of Mouth has revealed itself as The Jam. It isn't necessarily the most immediate track, but it's deceptively catchy like Herpes on a Weatherspoons' pint glass. Word around town, rap's most notable trip to the barbers since Mouse On Tha Track's Liberation (The Cut):

Rich Homie Quan - Word Of Mouth
(From Back To The Basics album; 2017)


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